Chapter 1

“Would you rather do it the classical way? Or would you try to do all the options and choose the best possible way? ”I asked myself as my forefinger continued tracing the rim of the coupe champagne glass in front of me.

My cheek was pressed against the cold and hard bar counter where I was currently seated. In front of me are the champagne glass and empty tequila bottle that are my company since earlier. I already finished it ten minutes ago and am now on my way to finish my first bottle of champagne.

I could feel the vibration of the bar counter caused by the booming music surrounding the whole place. And it's only worsening the dizziness that I am feeling. I'm not drunk yet despite what I've been drinking but I'm already feeling a little dizzy. But it's still not enough for me to go home. I still need more, a lot more, enough for me to just pass out the moment that my back touches the soft mattress of my bed.

“Oh, shoot ...” I moved my fingers sideways to contradict whatever that I have imagined for the rest of my night. "Right. I no longer sleep on a soft and expensive mattress anymore." I laughed like I am close to losing my sanity. "In a bed made of rotting bamboo that has been inhabited by bedbugs in the bed I will go home to tonight." I forced myself to raise my right hand to tap my own shoulder pitifully. “Pity you, Prescilla Hope. Poor you. ”

I closed my eyes and let myself be consumed by the beautiful darkness that has been a good friend of mine since the day that I've lost everything in my life. The darkness that always brings me peace. The darkness that knew everything about my pain and story. The darkness that never fails to embrace me whenever tough times come blocking my way.

And soon, the darkness that will own my being.

The loud music echoing at the whole bar started to sound weak in my ears the moment that I felt my eyelids getting heavy. But even before I could drift off to sleep, a menacing voice dominated my ears.

“Ramon,” his deep voice called.

He sounded so dangerous. He sounded so powerful like he was a ruler and everyone should bow down and obey his rules. His voice is deep, husky, and manly. And even with my eyes closed, I knew that he would also be good-looking.

He would probably have a bearded square jaw. Maybe his eyebrows are thick and slightly met as if that's the natural order. His nose would probably look like a greek nose and his lips would be red, a bit pouty, and kissable. And his eyes, hmm, probably deep black. Like the darkness that I always love.

"Is everything fine here, Ramon?" he asked, probably talking to the bartender who’s been serving me for the past hours that I’ve entered this bar.

“Yes, Sir Waldo. But I think this lady needs assistance, sir,” he replied politely.

And out of curiosity to know if my suspicion of what he would look like was correct, I slowly opened my languid eyes. To say that I was surprised was an understatement when I was greeted by the exact same features that I have imagined he would have.

But I couldn’t help but feel disappointed because instead of black eyes, what he has was gray. Even if I wanted it to be the former, I couldn’t deny that it suits grey eyes suits him better. As if he already owned the feature for himself.

Gradually his gaze dropped to me until his eyes completely traveled through my whole being. The drowsiness and dizziness that were eating my system suddenly disappeared as fast as the blink of an eye when I felt the resurrection that had long disappeared from my heart.

It feels like a spark, a quick flicker of light in the middle of dark and wide nothingness. A light that left me a long time ago. A spark that brought a second of warm feeling in my heart that has been cold for a very long time.

His pair of gentle eyes shine despite the darkness of the whole place. The way that he looks at me with worry even though he knew nothing about me. His gray eyes look intimidating at a quick glance but actually, they look tender if you’d stare at them for a long time.

“Are you okay, miss?” he asked with worry evidently written in his voice.

I was hypnotized by the way he stares, making me do things beyond my control. My body started to move on its own, seeking the light that his eyes had brought to my dying soul. I've found myself standing, fighting against my wobbly feet as I take shaky steps toward him.

“Who are you?” I asked in a slurred voice. I’m drunk alright.

The spark of light that only lasted for a split second earlier happened again. Only a little longer this time. But just like the first one, it died again even before I got a grasp on it. And just like that, darkness ruled me again.

“I am not fine, Mister. I am nowhere near that.” I let out a sarcastic laugh at the words coming out of my mouth. “Fuck this life. Fuck everyone. ”

Lifeless, I pulled out a few thousand bills from the clutch bag I was carrying and simply placed them on the counter next to the glass I used.

I silently turned my back on them and walked steadily until I could finally get out of the bar. I turned in my car’s direction which I had stolen from my parents’ house that I had run away from.

I just threw the bag I was carrying on the passenger's seat and then drove the car away. There were only a few vehicles I encountered, I pressed my foot on the accelerator until my back hit my seat because of the speed. My mind was already lost, and my gaze lost its focus. I was just looking at the road in front of me but my gaze seemed to be just penetrating there.

“I’m sorry, Miss, but we weren't able to save him.”

My teeth sank into my lower lip as I recalled those words that killed me that day. “Useless shits. So unworthy, ”I said through gritted teeth.

My heart began pounding in a painful way. And with each pulse, my vision slowly turned blurry due to the tears that filled my eyes. I accelerated the car even more until I came to a bridge that I never knew existed in my entire life.

Instead of slowing down, I just kept up with the speed until my car, together with me, came close to the barricade. Only a small distance is left and I would fall in no doubt. But with the sudden flash of light from somewhere, I automatically stepped on the car brake.

But because of the momentum I built with my speed, the car did not stop immediately. The exact same reason why when a red sedan appeared from the right, I crashed into it until it finally fell on the bridge.

I hurried out of the car to check out what had happened outside. I tried not to panic but who would stay calm in this whole fucking situation?!

“Oh my gosh, are you okay!?” I asked full of fear when I saw a man laying on the ground.

I saw him slowly forcing himself to sit up, but he couldn’t hide the grimace on his face with every move he was creating. “Are you alright?” he asked instead of answering me.

From where he was sitting, he looked passed through me to see the condition of my car. There was only exactly one ruler distance between the concrete barrier before. After that, he diverted his gaze at me and let a sigh out.

“Glad you’re safe,” he said with relief in his voice.

“What’s wrong with you?! You could’ve died!” I shirieked.

I instantly became sober as if I was never drawn with alcohol just a few minutes ago. I was almost thumping my feet in annoyance. I don’t mind putting myself on a cliff of an abyss, but bringing someone along with me would never my intention.

But this man was the one who brought himself in this situation!

The man I met at the bar just diverted his eyes towards the opposite direction of mine. I ended up heaving a deep sigh, realizing that he doesn’t have any intention of answering my question.

“Go home. And make sure to never do something like this again,” he instructed. The man slowly stood up and dusted his pants.

“I can’t leave you here like this. You’re bruised.” I scanned every part of his body that I could see through the dark.

Both of his arms have grazed and the one on his right has blood dripping from it. Guilt filled me with seeing him in a situation I brought him into.

“I’m fine. I got men on their way to fetch me. You go ahead. And please don’t do this again,” he pleaded as if we knew each other for years. He went closer to me ’till he reached the door of my car and opened it for me. “Go home. And don’t do this again. The next time I’ll see you, I’ll take surely measure.”