Chapter 10: She Used To Be Mine

Ashton's POV

"Are you excited about your football career, son?" my grandfather asked, and I smiled widely as I nodded at him.

"Of course, this is what I have been waiting for, Grandpa. I can't wait. I know I should not feel this way, but I am more excited about knowing Megan's whereabouts rather than playing my first football game as a pro," I said, and I couldn't stop myself from grinning as I adjusted the collar of my polo shirt. But I could tell by the way my grandfather was looking at me that he had something terrible to say, and I couldn't stop myself from feeling anxious about it.

I could tell my grandpa was trying to find the right words to say to me what was going on with Megan's life now, and I didn't even know how to deal with it if he told me I was already too late because it would be a disaster.

"What is it, Grandpa?" I asked as I tried to calm myself, even if I could tell my heart was about to burst. My grandfather looked at me for a long time before he opened the drawer of his table and pulled out an envelope, which I knew contained Megan's photographs as evidence of where she was and how she was doing now.

"I am sorry, son, but I think you are already too late," he said — the words that I dreaded hearing within the four years I had been waiting for this moment.

"If you want, I can tell you the details, and you don't need to look at these photos," Grandpa said as he looked me in the eyes, and I shook my head.

"No, I want to see her even if it hurts. I know this would happen, but I want to see her beautiful face even for the last time, and I want to know how she is doing. I want her to be safe and happy, and I know my feelings for her will never change. She is still the one here in my heart and mind," I replied.

"Okay then, I don't know how to comfort you, Ashton, but maybe you are not meant to be," Grandpa Henry said, and I shook my head as I stared into his deep blue eyes.

"No, we are meant to be, Grandpa, but I was a coward and a jerk, and I was a fool for hurting her feelings on the day she came into our house to speak with me, because I never gave her a chance, and I drove her away," I replied, and he let out a heavy sigh as he handed me the envelope, and I took it with trembling hands.

As I opened the envelope and fished out the contents, I half-laughed as I realized my grandpa had arranged the photos carefully so I could see Megan's face first. I couldn't stop myself from touching her lovely face as I stared at her photograph, and she had become more beautiful, and I couldn't stop my heart from skipping a beat. She used to be mine, and I missed everything about her, especially her voice. I was staring at her candid photo for a long time, and I didn't want to look at more, and just one picture was enough to bring back all the sweet memories I had with her.

"I don't want to see what is next because I don't want a reminder of the mistake I made four years ago," I said.

"You have to, Ashton; that is the only way you can move on with your life. I think she is happy with her life now," my grandfather said, which made me feel so curious that I looked at the following photograph in my hands. I couldn't stop feeling so stunned as I looked at Megan with a child, and it was a boy, a lovely toddler. I could say he was now three years old, and I felt the pang in my chest, for I couldn't believe Megan had moved on with her life that easily, and when I looked at the following photo, I almost died.

I couldn't believe that Gael was the father of Megan's child, and when I scanned the remaining photos, they were all photos of Gael, Megan, and their baby. They looked so happy together, and no wonder she had given up her music for him. I couldn't contain my emotions anymore as I ran out from my grandfather's study and got out of the house, and I ran as fast as I could until I neared the lake, and I only slowed down when I almost reached the treehouse.

I could feel the tears that trickled down my face as I looked at the place where we dreamed of growing old together. How could Megan have forgotten the promise she made that she would only love me for the rest of her life? I discarded my shoes at once, and I walked closer to the water until I couldn't stop dipping myself in the water even though I was still fully clothed. For the first time since we broke up, I cried so hard, and I didn't know how many hours I stayed in the water until I could feel my entire body shivering. And I heard my sister's voice calling my name.

"Ashton, you have to come out of the water now, please!" Isabelle shouted, and that was when I hauled myself out of the water. I slowly walked toward her, and she draped the towel around my shoulders while she held my hand as she brought me to the treehouse. I didn't want to climb, but I could feel that my entire body was giving up, and I wanted to crawl into the bed because I couldn't stop the pain in my heart.

I felt so glad that Isabelle came, even though she didn't say a single word. I knew that I was not alone, and her presence made me feel better, even though I felt like I was dying inside. I went inside the bathroom and took a fast shower, and I wrapped the towel around my waist and got out of the shower room.

I smiled when I saw clean boxer shorts, a white t-shirt, and brown cargo shorts on top of the bed, and I wondered where my sister went. Then I realized she gave me time to make myself decent before she came back with vodka in her hands, and I looked at her, and Isabelle weakly smiled at me while she opened the window, and I could feel the afternoon breeze brush against my skin.

"I know you bought this alcohol so we can have a drink together to enjoy this supposed special occasion, but it seems this drink has another purpose. I am not telling you to drink alcohol to forget how you feel right now, Ashton, but I think this will help for the time being. Besides, I want to celebrate your graduation with you, but if you want, we can talk about it too. But if it is too much for you to talk about Megan, then I will not force you to share with me what you feel right now," Isabelle declared.

"I want you to know that I am here to listen to you, Ashton. I don't want you to bottle up the pain inside your heart because it is unhealthy. I have been there," she added as she sat down on the floor and then opened the vodka bottle.

I couldn't argue with my sister. Besides, there is nothing she doesn't know about me. I haven't kept anything from Isabelle. After I hurt Megan on that day she came into our mansion, I almost lost Zachary. We are still friends, but we are no longer the way we used to be. We played on the same team in college, and I could feel we were drifting apart from each other.

I couldn't blame Zach; he warned me not to court Megan if I would only break her heart in the end, but no matter how I explained to him, I only did it because I wanted to protect her, but he still loathed me. I couldn't stop him from hurting, and I realized Zachary was also in love with Megan. We still see each other and talk, but we avoid talking about Megan, and I miss the old times I spent with my best friend.

"You could have at least given Megan a chance to talk with you that day, Ashton. You know how much I liked Megan from the start, but you asked me to stay away from her. I gave in to your request even though I had been dying to court Megan, because I knew you were into her. Hot girls chased you around, but that was the first time I heard you beg me, and I could tell you liked her. But I didn't expect you to be that coward, Ashton," Zach said, and it was after I realized Megan was no longer in Astikoz.

She ran away from home because she saw me with Lauren, and I didn't correct her assumptions that I was spending my time with my ex because I wanted Megan to hate me that day, so she would stop seeing me. I remember every damn hurtful word I said to her that time. And I never realized it would lead to this. Who am I to think everything is under my control when I know how much I hurt Megan, and now I have to live my life in misery.

"Hey, are you still with me, Ashton?" I heard my sister say, and I snapped back into the present.

"I am sorry, Isabelle, I have never felt so hurt before, and it feels like my heart is bleeding right now. I can feel the anguish and the pain," I said.

"Why not look for her?" Isabelle asked, and I laughed.

"For what? To hurt me more? I don't think that is a good idea, and I don't want Megan to tell me to my face that she is now happy with Gael while I am still hung up on her," I said, and I couldn't stop the frustrations and disappointments that I felt.

"I don't even know how to deal with my broken heart right now, but I have my pride too, Isabelle. I don't want to see Megan anymore, and I will do everything I can to forget her," I said as I poured vodka into my shot glass and took it in one gulp. I know I am hurting, but I couldn't also stop myself from hating Megan — that she forgot me so quickly. And tonight, I promise myself to forget all about her, and I don't have any idea how to do it, but I have to, so I can move on with my life.