Chapter 1

Mia's POV

"Who are you?" I asked

Where was I? I could see myself dancing with a guy.

We were dancing along to every bit of slow music; in a crowded place where shadows of people were dancing; full of happiness like there was a bliss that I'd never felt before.

But I couldn't see the faces roaming around with their ballgown swaying. 

"Do I know you?" My head hurts from trying to see the face of the man I was dancing with; of the man who was unknowingly giving me butterflies in my stomach. It was all blurry except for his scent. The manly scent that kept travelling on my nose and hitting the nerves of my heart, pumping my blood vessels. His scent was so familiar, even the warmth of his breath that was travelling through my lips gave me a hell of goosebumps.

My heart started pumping even louder; louder than the thunderstorms on a gloomy, rainy day. His hands-on my waist made me feel so comfortable. A comfort that I never felt before and that made me freaking nervous. 

It was a blast but the song was freaking slow and somehow it made me cry; the song was sad. I felt really happy but the tears were running on my face. I couldn't understand why or how come; I didn't know what was going on. 

I touched his face, the man I was continuously dancing with. My brows crossed trying to remember who he was; how could I remember if all I could see was blurriness? His soft cheeks were fascinating; it was pinching my heart not in a bad way though. Like there was electricity through the friction of our body. 

"I love you," I whispered. I blinked twice or thrice. What did I just say? Oh God, I loved him. I felt like I was in love. I was feeling my heart beating so damn fast, nonstop and I couldn't understand why. Was it possible to fall in love with a man you have no idea who? Fuck, I felt like I was going crazy.

I could nearly feel his warm breath on my nose travelling downside my lips; I closed my eyes like his face was a magnet and it was pulling me closer to him. His lips were getting warmer as it gets closer... my heart was a freaking thunderstorm as I was waiting to feel his lips, to finally taste them. 

My heart cracked as I felt his hands on my waist slowly loosening. His warm breath disappeared and as I opened my eyes, he was nowhere to be found. The butterflies inside me turned into knives as I looked around and every ballgown and tuxedo dancing around was fading; like they were leaving me and I didn't know where else to go. I ran with my chest thumping like something bad was gonna happen. My tears got warmer and it was nearly burning my face. I ran as fast as I could until I froze as everything got darker. I looked around and there was no one; no one but me like I was in a cave, in the middle of nowhere.

I sat in the corner like a helpless child trying to catch her breath. My chest was pinching so bad. I was trembling as my tears were suffocating my face. It was burning hot; I was sweating, trembling, and crying all at the same time. I could barely breathe. 

Then I saw this blurry guy in the middle of darkness. My eyes puffed out as I saw the pointed object falling downside him

"No--no!" 

"Mia! Mia! Wake up!" My heart dropped as I sat with rapid breathing. I looked around my room until I met mom's eyes. I wiped the burning tears on my cheeks as my dreams were still processing on me. My heart was still running like it was so afraid and I was damn afraid. 

"You're having a nightmare again."

I couldn't talk; I was just breathing fast, trying to catch my running heart. 

Mom handed me a glass of water. "Are you okay?" 

I drank the water like It was my first time tasting the plain mineral. I felt so exhausted. It was as if my dreams happened and I trembled in anxiety.

I took a deep breath as I nodded to mom. 

I didn't feel okay. For almost all of my life, I never felt like completely fine. I couldn't understand myself. I felt like there was a big part of my life that was missing.

That unfamiliar blurry guy was always present in my dreams. It was seriously bothering me. Was it implying something? Maybe it was just simply a man that only exist in my imagination. An imagination that felt so real. It was like... I knew the guy as if we met before.

"Are you sure you're okay? I notice how this past few days, you're always having a nightmare." Mom stuck a strand of my hair at the back of my ear.

"Yes, mom." I managed to smile despite my mind almost getting crazy. As if an unsolved puzzle was roaring around my head. 

I have no idea if this was even normal; me, enjoying my dreams; having a good feeling about it then it would suddenly turn to darkness as if everything was not permanent like a nightmare that was scratching my heart into pieces and it felt so surreal like it happened, but it didn't. It was nearly impossible to happen or to even exist.

"Are you ready for your new school?" mom asked. 

"Do I have a choice?" 

Mom and dad decided to transfer me to a Christian school. They were thinking that maybe the reason I was always having a nightmare was that I was very away from God. That thought was hilarious, I mean how? 

My dreams were l as in it happened. I felt like there was more to it than I know; I must know or I'd be afraid to know. 

And the guy from my dream? I really couldn't stop thinking about him. I know him but fuck! It was impossible. I never even had a boyfriend. 

"Honey, we talked about this, right? We did this for you. Maybe you need to be closer to God. You need to know him and understand that he is important. Maybe it could help against your nightmares."

I slightly smiled with my chest feeling tired. I wasn't close to God. I didn't know why. Yes, I believe God exist but I wasn't close to him. since I was a child, I would barely come with mom and dad every Sunday to the church. I'd only come when I have a new dress to flex or we would go to the mall after mass or eat fast food after listening to a long preacher. In the end, there were more Sundays that I stayed in the house than in churches.

Seriously, I was at my age where everything was confusing to me. My heart was resentful and I didn't even know why. There was resentment towards him, the higher-ups. Whatever maybe I was just a total weirdo.

"I understand." I lashed out a breath. 

I had no other choice but to understand their decision.

Weird dreams, nightmares, maybe God did that so that I could be closer to him. Maybe... but, shit my mind, my brain. For real? My brain wanted to explode. I was tired of thinking and giving conclusions to my dreams. It wasn't even real! 

"Hon. Are you sure you're okay? You are shocked." I looked at mom. What did she say?

"Come again, mom." 

She sighed. "You're not okay. Aren't you?"

"I am mom, I'm just sleepy," I said as I closed my eyes. That was what I was good with; hiding what I feel, pretending to be okay. 

"Okay. Just rest for a moment. Breakfast is ready. It's your first day of school, you should not be late okay?"

I just nodded. I had a hard time communicating and making connections with my old classmates, but at least I had one friend. New school, new people, fuck! I had no idea how to make friends.

I started fixing myself. I took a bath and took my breakfast, I got in the car and seated there comfortably. 

I was acting normal even though I was nervous about the new school I was going to. I wasn't really good and interacting with other people, but they said the people there were nice. How I wish it was true.

"Hey sweetheart, are you excited about your new school?" dad asked while driving.

"Is there anything exciting in that school?" I shrugged.

Dad tapped my shoulder. "Maybe. Just enjoy the day sweetie."

I wish I could, I wish I could be a normal teenager that could always conquer the day, but I couldn't. I couldn't focus on myself enough. I couldn't focus my mind on enjoying things because every time I try, someone or something would ruin it.

There was always a question on my mind. Why couldn't I just be a normal teenager? 

"I'll try," I whispered. 

When I arrived at school, I went straight to my classroom. I felt anxious as everyone looked at me like there was some dirt on my face. I kept my eyes on the shiny floor; didn't have the confidence to have an eye to eye contact with anyone. 

I puffed a breath as noises and gossip were surrounding my ears. I quickly raise my head to look for a vacant seat. As if a thunderstorm hit me when my eyes locked on a man's eyes, sitting on the corner. He was deeply staring at me; his emerald eyes almost suffocated me. Was he glaring at me? Oh please... I still haven't done anything and someone hated me already. 

His stare was so deep. It almost melted me. I gulped as something on my head twitched. I massaged my forehead. The guy looked familiar. 

Suddenly he shook his head and looked away. There was a vacant seat beside him. I gulped with the tension I felt; there was something inside me that was pushing me to sit beside him. 

I walked slowly with my heart thundering like a drum as I went near him. I was about to put my bag on the chair beside him, but I froze. 

"Someone's sitting there," his voice was downright cold.