His eyes suddenly flicked toward me and I stopped dead in my tracks.
My inside started shaking, my hands started trembling at the side. I curled them into a fist to stop myself from breaking. It is not the time.
My eyes pricked with tears--tears I’ve kept inside for the past two years.
His brown eyes bored into mine, he looked shocked- no, no, not just shocked, he looked bewildered, horrified, afraid, pained, he looked so weak, so broken.
You broke him.
I couldn't silence the voice in my head this time; I couldn't lie to myself anymore. It is the truth.
I broke him.
He stood still in his place, few meters separating us, yet the distance in his eyes can't be measured, the distance these two past years left. He didn't move, he didn't even blink.
I bowed my head and looked down unable to meet his eyes anymore. It has been long, really long since I last felt this rush of feelings, since I felt this organ in my chest beating.
I have been numb, for the last two years, I closed my heart and my mind , I closed everything, because keeping them opened would've drove me insane.
I looked up. How much I missed him; I wondered.
He blinked. I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
He blinked again. I licked my dry lips nervously waiting for his reaction.
"No-" He whispered. He let a humorless pained chuckle. He shook his head. "No-" He said again.
He rubbed his eyes, then looked back at me as if to make sure it is not a dream.
I am here. I wanted to say but couldn't, my voice failed me.
"You-" He started; you can easily detect the shakiness in his voice.
"No ! This is not real." He said, his tone so different, different from the way it was before. "Not again, not this dream again ! " He snapped angrily and shook his head.
"Go away !" He snapped; my heart cracked a bit. I tried to find my voice, "Alex-", it came so low, a mere whisper. How much I missed just the sound of his name.
His eyes widened a bit when he heard my voice, he shook his head again, he is not believing this, "Ale-" I started again as I took a step forward, "DON'T !" He interrupted me and took a step backward. "You're not real." He muttered lowly; it was more to himself than to me.
He closed his eyes and looked down, he pressed his palms against his ears, "Wake up, wake up!" He said clenching his jaw, "It's just another dream, a f*cking dream."
My heart stuttered, the first tear fell, and another one fell after it. I want to scream, I want to go back there, why did I come? Why did I have to come back and ruin everything?
The proper question would've been, why did you leave in the first place?
I had to. To protect him.
To protect my husband.
I was afraid of this --to see him again, I was afraid to see the result of my actions, and I had the total right to be afraid.
My chest tightened more; I forgot how to breathe as my eyes connected with his wrist.
I gasped; I covered my mouth with my hand to not let my emotions escape. But the tears alone betrayed me.
Oh my god, No.
What did I do to you?
What did I do to you Alex?
Maybe he didn't kill you, but for sure I did-
-I killed you.
You won't forgive me. Why would you?
I should've thought about this before taking my decision, before leaving, before destroying both of our lives. And our daughter's life in the process.
It is true, you were right before, i am the death of you-- this time i am.
Two years ago…Cara's POVYou know this feeling; this constant nagging at the back of your mind, this sickening at the pit of your stomach, this heavyweight over your chest that makes you sometimes stop and just try to gasp for a breath.You know; this anxiety, uneasiness, or maybe it is just referred to as --fear.I don't know, it is just, this feeling--What is it?What do they call it?This trepidation. As if you're waiting for something bad to happen. As if your gut is telling you, it’s giving you pre heads-up.To prepare yourself maybe, or just to be ready, to have it in you to face what's to come.I may sound crazy, but even sometimes, I feel as if someone is watching me. It is creepy, I know. The thought alone sends shivers down my spine.I let out a tired sigh and press my palms over the kitchen's counter.What t
Cara's POV "Dad !"The word came out of my mouth as a mere whisper. Saying it after all this time somehow managed to slightly break my heart."You know cupcakes I prefer it more when you call me daddy but-" Alex started to say something through the phone but i tuned out his words as the phone slipped from my hand and hit the floor.I couldn't help how all of a sudden the memory flashed back right in front of my eyes.I saw it clearly, i saw how the tears left my eyes , how I couldn't shut my cries as i saw him walking away, leaving us behind.Twenty years ago, yet still, the image is still so clear. The memory is still so fresh. The wound is still opened.I didn't want to remember, to recall it. I didn't want to feel that pain again. But I couldn't help it, my mind acted against my own will and took me back there.**Flashback**He knelt down
Cara's POV I took the day off and went back home, I couldn't go to work after.I wasn't in the mood to talk with anyone or even think about anything.I laid on the bed trying to clear my mind and relax , trying to forget what happened yesterday and today. Trying to forget how he suddenly came back to my life and disturbed my thoughts.But even with that, I kept on recalling his words from earlier today.He said he will hurt Alex.Would he ?He wouldn't, right?He can't.Of course he can't. He won't go that far.He is not that bad.Or is he ?I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands unable to handle all the thoughts running in my head. I wish i can just go back into ignoring the thought of him.It was much easier that way.I let out a frustrated sigh and shot up from my laying position. I should occupy my mind with something else or I am
Cara's POVI felt my throat burning as I muttered those words, knowing for sure there is no way back now.I have to give up.I have to oblige to his orders.He won.My dad won.He is going to take from me the only good thing in my life. I have to go and leave the few people I care about behind."You took the right choice." The man whispered beside my ear before releasing me. I directly sank into my knees unable to hold myself."Leave him." He ordered the other men. They let go of Alex and walked away with him.I struggled to my feet and directly ran toward Alex, my heart no longer under my control. I dropped beside him on the ground as he struggled to sit down.He winced, his hand went to his stomach, a low groan emitted from the back of his throat.I gasped as I took a look at his shirt, where blood is covering it all. A pile rose in my throat and more tears left my eyes.
Cara's POV"Katherine." I said, my voice came low.I was so afraid she heard what we said.Her eyes flicked from me to my Dad's retreating figure, "What was he doing here ?" She asked.Did she hear anything ?Oh god, I hope she didn't.I licked my dry lips; I didn't know what I should say.Should I lie ? Again ? At my silence, her eyebrows pulled together, she inched closer, "I heard you tell him that you hate him." She said, her hand traveled to my arm, "Is he bothering you again?" She added sympathetically.Oh, so she didn't hear everything.I hope so.I shook my head and forced a smile, "It's nothing." I simply said.She probably got that I don't want to talk about it, so instead of asking further she just inched closer and wrapped her arms around me.I hugged her back, my hold tighter than ever as another heartbreaking realization dawned on
Cara's POV We spent the rest of the day at my Mom's house, she even insisted that we should stay the night as well and leave tomorrow.So we did.We didn't talk much about my so called father after that.I wanted to ask more. I didn't get the answers i need yet.But my mom doesn't look like she have them anyway.She was about to prepare the guest room for us when i asked her if my room still the same, she said yes, so i asked her if we could stay there and for sure she accepted.I entered the room, a small smile curved my lips as i notice
Cara's POV "I couldn't sleep without you."It hurts.It shouldn't but it hurts so damn much.You have to get used to it. Alex, you have to get used to continue your whole life without me, not just sleeping.I turned myself in his arms so i can see his face, "Ale-"He raised an eyebrow and directly interrupted me, "We'll discuss it in the morning." He said, "Go back to sleep now."I didn't have the energy in me to argue, so i just nodded and turned around. His hand around me touching my baby bump, I placed mine over his and held it as i closed my eyes and
Cara's POV I laid my head over the bed's headboard, my eyes fixated on the white ceiling above me, my mind still trying to take into everything happening.One week has passed.One week with me away from home.One week but nothing major happened.One week, and no single tear was shed. I think i am doing good, i am holding myself. Good. Great.Once arrived to London, My so-called father took me to this hotel, he left me here and went away, and i hadn't seen him since then.Which is good.