The Ending Without The Beginning

The person that is not scared of death doesn't exist. Every human being is scared of death in their own way. Death is such a scary and mysterious concept that it sometimes creeps me out. What happens to us after we die? This is a question that will never get an answer anytime soon. They say dying for the people you love makes you not fear death, but seeing your loved ones die is a different kind of feeling. It's like a part of your soul was cut off and you are never going to be the same.

Losing my mum one of the people that truly cared for me was hard and came with a lot of pain but I got used to that pain and tried to live with it. Sometimes I feel like she is here with me but every time I open my eyes she vanishes. She died because of cancer two years ago, and as for my father. I have no idea who he is. According to my mom, he abandoned us when I was three years old. She never mentioned him, and I have no idea what he looks like or what his name is. There are no photos of us, not even a single thing that can be related to him. I only know one thing. Not to look for him. My mum made me promise her. She even begged me not to try to figure out who he was. And I didn't object to her.

I live alone in a small apartment in New York. To pay for my education and rent, I work two jobs. I am a law student. School is a pain in the ass, but I made a promise to my mother, and I don't want to break it. Her dream was for me to graduate, and I didn't want to let her down.

After school, I go straight to work and return home around 2 a.m., exhausted and fed up with this life. The only thing that calms me down and makes my day better is when I get back and continue reading my books. They are the only thing I will have with me for the rest of my life. They've become a part of me, and I never leave the house without them. They are like an escape from reality, letting me forget about my boring life.

So this is my final year of school, and I'm about to graduate. Nobody knows how long I've been looking forward to this day. I have started looking for a new job with good pay so I could have more time for myself. Summer is ahead and I don't want to spend all of it working.

It's around 8 pm and I start to do the inventory to close my shift. I work in a small coffee shop almost two blocks away from my other job so it would be faster for me to get there. After finishing everything I close the store and go straight to my next torture. I work as a bartender at a popular nightclub. The salary is good, but being a female bartender is difficult. Many people want to hurt you, which bothers me a little, but I haven't had any problems in the three years of working here. Our boss has really strict rules and if we cross them we can get fired.

I am sitting in my normal spot at the corner of the bar, reading a novel when a man reaches the counter. He puts his hands over his face and appears to be distressed. With a smile on my face, I approached the counter and asked him what he wanted to drink.

"One Scotch, please," he says softly. By his accent, I can tell he is Italian.

I'm surprised because the word 'please' is rare around here. I look at him again, this time more intensely since his voice seems so familiar. I was lost in his lovely deep brown eyes for a few seconds, looking at them without doing anything. I make every effort not to adore his features as much as I want to. His eyes began to glance at me confusedly as I realized that he had given his order and that I was still staring at him like a weirdo. As I turned around to make his drink, I could feel my cheeks burning up. I placed his drink on the table, and he took it and asks for another within a few seconds.

He's been sitting in his chair for over twenty minutes and is on his eighth glass. I haven't moved my gaze away from him yet, as my mind wanders, wondering why he seems so familiar. Those curly hairs and his features reminded me of someone, but I can't put my finger on who. Those deep brown eyes hide something I'm in desperate need to figure out, and I'm not sure why. His perfect pointed nose his perfect plump lips. What is it about him that makes me want to know more about him?

Suddenly he raises his head looking at me up and down scanning all of me. It's been twenty minutes as he has been sitting there and only now has he decided to look at me.

"Can I please have another drink?" he asks, his eyes tired and ready to tear up. He seems to be trying to drown his pain with alcohol to avoid whatever it is that's been in him for a long time. 

I decided to talk to him this time. My heart was pounding faster than usual. I'd never felt anything like this before. I approach him and lean on the counter. "Don't you think you drank enough, big boy?" Big boy. What the fuck was this? Where did I come up with this? His head got up as we locked eyes. The prettiest eyes I have ever seen. Those eyes are going to be the death of me.

"Did I ask for your opinion, pretty simile?" he asks with his deep voice a smirk forming on his face.

Okay, What the heck happened? Did he just call me 'pretty smile'?

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but we're about to close the bar and I won't be able to serve any more drinks," I explain as my cheeks blush but I try to keep a straight face.

"Can I just have one last glass, pretty simile?" he asks, looking at me with those lovely baby brown eyes. I chuckle as I pour his last glass.

"The last one," I say as I smile at him, not knowing what else to say. He smiles back at me as he finishes his last glass of Scotch and stands up.

"Could you help me get to my car?" I stared at him, confused. He asked me to take him to his car, even though he had no idea who I was. I pushed this thought to the back of my mind and decided to help him. He barely could stand on his feet I wasn't going to let him drive in that condition.

"Do you want me to help you to get to your car and let you drive in this condition?" I say as I walked away from the counter, I pointed at his condition. I take his hand on my shoulder and begin walking to where he has parked his car.

''Here we are, big boy." I opened his car door and seated him on the passenger side. "I'm going to call a cab so you can go home safely."

"Worrying about my pretty smile?" he asks, his brows raised, looking me in the eyes as a slight smile appears on his face, causing a strange feeling in my stomach. Something I've never experienced before.

"First of all, I have a name, so stop calling me pretty smile, and let me call a cab to take you home."

"I'm sorry for my behavior. What's your name, pretty smile?" he asks, his lips smirking. Those gorgeous lips.

''Elly,'' I said my name, then took the phone from my jeans pocket and dialed a cab number. We waited for over 10 minutes, not saying anything and in complete silence, until the cab arrived. I helped him out of his car and onto the back seat of the cab.

"Elly is a really lovely name," he says looking me in the eyes.

"Thank you," I say a soft smile forming on my face.

"Could you please come a little closer so I can tell you something?" he asks, his eyes focused on mine. I get closer to him, waiting for him to say something. He comes closer and lands a gentle kiss on my cheek. I stood there, my eyes wide open, unsure of what to do. Without moving, he whispered in my ear. ''Goodnight pretty smile, and thank you for taking care of me.''

I didn't say anything and simply got out of the car, shut the door, and returned to the club. I grabbed my things and returned home. Because my apartment isn't far from my workplace, I begin walking. I looked at my phone to check what time it was. The time was 3:48. As I walked, I began to think about all that had happened earlier. He kissed me on the cheek. My cheeks begin to flush once more. My stomach has that same weird feeling. What is going on with me? I've only just met this guy, yet he's already made me feel this way.

As I reached my building, I shook this thought out of my mind, took my keys out of my bag, and opened the main entrance. I stepped inside the elevator and pressed number three. As soon as the elevator door opened on my floor, I went directly to my apartment door and got in. I removed my shoes and went straight to my room to change into my pajamas and lie down on my bed. While I was removing my jacket, I noticed a noise coming from my pocket.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a car key. "Fuck." I mutter under my breath. His car key was in my pocket. I forgot to give him his car key. My thoughts flashed back to the moment he kissed me on the cheek, and I had the same strange sensation in my stomach.

I was so exhausted that I just threw my jacket on top of the mess on my chair. I'll admit it, I'm a messy girl. I didn't eat anything since I was so exhausted, so I simply lay down in my cozy bed and fell asleep. Tomorrow is Saturday, and I can sleep till the afternoon if I want to.