The Laurel Springs Emergency Response Team Series

VOLUME ONE: RANSOM

FROM THE TEXT MESSAGES OF RANSOM THOMPSON & NICK KEPLER

N: Can you make it any more obvious?

R: Can I make what any more obvious?

N: You were checking out Stella hard core today at The Café.

R: Yeah? I think maybe she was checking me out too.

N: Ummm, negative ghostrider, I know my sister. She wasn't checking you out.

R: One day, my friend, one day. I haven't put on twenty pounds of muscle since I started working with Rambo for nothing.

N: I'm glad to see your dreaming big.

R: Go big or go home, isn't that what everybody says?

N: Yeah, if they're giving like a mother fucking TED talk, Ransom.

R: Don't talk down to me, Nickolas.

N: I just see you missing out on all the chicks who look at you like they'd blow you before they even knew your name.

R: Not missing out, Nick. I'm focused. Focused on what I really want.

N: You sure about that? What if she never sees it?

R: She will. One day she'll need a hero, and I'll be right there. I know my girl, and she wants the dude who's brave enough to enter the building with an armed man. The dude who's willing to put himself in the line of fire. That's me, and I'm gonna show her that one day.

N: God bless ya, man.

R: I'm patient.

N: Or a glutton for punishment. It's been a year since you've even been out on a date.

R: One day you'll get it. I'm just waiting for the right time. Patience pays off.

N: Or makes your dick sterile from lack of use.

R: You're not gonna convince me that she and I aren't meant to be.

N: I'm just saying I know my sister.

R: And I'm just saying maybe you don't know her as well as you thought, if you think she's not worth waiting around for.

N: Now you're puttin' words in my mouth.

R: Don't write checks you can't cash, dude. For real.

N: I'll be here to nurse your heartbreak with a beer when all is said and done.

R: Fuck off, you'll be best man at my wedding.

N: Assuming she says yes to marrying you, which means she'll have to say yes to a date, which in turn means you'll have to actually get her to talk to you in a romantic way. Those are lofty goals my friend.

R: I'll be calling you brother-in-law before you know it.

N: Ha! I'll believe it when I see it.

R: Keep looking, jackass. Gotta go, call is coming in. See you tomorrow night for steaks. Bring your nephew his favorite tug toy.

N: Only because I like him more than you!