Chapter 5

Since I learned about it, I’ve been keeping a close watch over my four children. I take them to and from school myself. I’m terrified. Those men have been searching our town for days now. Thank God they haven’t found my children, even with how many of them there are. I saw them once when they passed by our house and bought something from my stall. My kids were at school that time, and I was so grateful to God for that. But the day I feared the most finally came, and I couldn’t stop worrying.

“Cass, this isn’t a joke anymore. You need to take her to a private hospital.”

“Her fever is too high. It’s been four days now. You know that, child. Our hospital here doesn’t have the equipment to find out what’s wrong with your daughter.”

I bit my lower lip. Why did this have to happen? I took a deep breath and gently caressed my daughter’s cheek as she slept. My heart ached for her. What kind of mother wouldn’t pity her child’s suffering? I can’t bear to see her like this—but what if he finds us? What if we cross paths? What if he takes my children away? Can I be selfish, just this once? They are my life. It’s impossible for him to recognize me since he never really knew me, but still—who knows? He’s rich, powerful, and well-connected. But I also can’t stand seeing my child like this. It feels like my heart is being stabbed by a thousand blades.

“We’re going to Manila. I’ll take her there to make sure she gets treated right away. I still have some money saved,” I said softly.

Lory rubbed my back while Aling Fe patted my shoulder. I kissed Zebediah on the forehead; he was bundled tightly in his blanket. Then I looked at my other three children, sitting quietly nearby. Their faces were full of worry for their youngest sibling. Zuhair sniffled, rubbing his eyes as he stared at Zebediah.

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I packed everything we needed into a backpack. We were leaving for Manila today. I was nervous for my child—her fever wasn’t normal. It was dangerously high and had lasted four days. I had already given her medicine, but it wasn’t working. The fever kept coming back. The two kids would stay home with Lory, while Zephyr would come with me. The three of them refused to let me go with only Zebediah. They insisted that one of them had to come along, and I couldn’t say no.

“Kids, behave while we’re gone, alright? Zeus, look after your sibling. Don’t let anything happen to him,” I said while they helped me pack. My eldest, Zeus, sighed, so I turned to him.

“Why, Zeus? Is something wrong? Tell Mama,” I asked with concern. He shook his head, and I exhaled in relief.

“I want to go with you, but it’s okay, Mama. I’ll take care of Eros. You can count on me,” he said. I went over to them, and Zuhair turned toward me. I knelt in front of them and smiled—a smile meant to reassure them that everything would be okay. They were still too young to carry heavy worries. I knew they were anxious, but I didn’t want sadness to consume them.

“Everything will be fine, my loves. It’s Zebe we’re talking about—he’s strong, right?” I said cheerfully. Together, we looked at Zebediah, lying in bed, wearing a bonnet and a thick jacket.

He smiled faintly and gave us a thumbs-up despite his pale face. Seeing him like that made me want to cry, but I had to stay strong for them. Was I a negligent mother? It hurts so much to see your child so weak. I looked at the other two—sorrow filled their eyes. I hugged them tightly and whispered that everything would be alright, that their little brother would get better. I didn’t care how expensive the hospital bills would be; what mattered was saving my child. For them, I would do anything, even if it left me with nothing.

“We’re leaving now. Be good, okay? I love you all so much.” I kissed them on their foreheads and cheeks and hugged them tightly once more. They pulled away and went to Zebe, hugging and kissing him on both cheeks. I watched how they made him smile with just a few sweet words. I couldn’t help placing my hand over my chest. Seeing my kids like this made my heart swell—it was both comforting and overwhelming.

I turned toward the door when Zephyr entered, carrying a tumbler of water. When he saw his siblings embracing, he immediately joined them. I couldn’t resist and went over too. We all hugged together tightly. I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth of their embrace. They were my strength—my light in the darkness of my past. They were my hope, my reason to live with joy. Just the thought of being apart from them—or of their father taking them away—felt like dying. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be away from them. No. I wouldn’t allow it. Is it wrong to be selfish, even just for this? Just for them?

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I held Zebediah on my lap as he slept in my arms. Zephyr sat quietly beside me, looking out the bus window, watching the houses we passed.

“Mama,” he said, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked at him. He wore a black bonnet and a matching black mask—the favorite color of the three. His blue eyes met mine, his brows slightly furrowed. He lowered his mask, revealing his soft red lips.

“What is it?” I asked gently.

“Are we still far?”

“Quite far, sweetheart. Try to sleep for now. I’ll wake you when we get to the hospital.” He nodded, fixed his mask, and leaned his head against me. I adjusted his position with one hand, watching as his eyes slowly closed. I sighed softly and wrapped my arm around him while cradling Zebediah on my lap.

Hours later, the bus finally stopped. I looked toward the front and saw the large private hospital. The passengers began standing up and getting off. I turned to my son sleeping beside me and gently woke him up. He rubbed his eyes and frowned a little before smiling.

“We’re here, love.” His eyes widened as he looked out the window.

“Wow! The buildings are so tall here, Mama!” he said excitedly. I chuckled and adjusted Zebediah in my arms. He had just woken up too. I brushed his cheek and touched his forehead—his fever was still high.

“We’re here now, sweetheart,” I whispered softly. He smiled faintly and nestled his face into my neck. I carried him in both arms and stood up. Though my arms ached, I didn’t care. Zephyr held on to me as we stepped off the bus together.

After six years, I’m here—standing in front of the hospital.

One of his territories.