Chapter 5

Sarah's POV

The first thing I felt was warmth.Not the warmth of sunlight.Not the warmth of a blanket.

It wrapped around me gently, almost protectively, easing the terrible pain that had torn through my body.For a few seconds, I allowed myself to enjoy it.

I didn't want to open my eyes.I didn't want to know where I was.I didn't want reality.

Because wherever I was, it couldn't possibly hurt as much as reality did.

Slowly, my eyelids fluttered open.A strange room came into view.

Dark mahogany shelves lined the walls, filled with ancient books. Moonlight slipped through the tall windows, painting silver lines across the polished wooden floor.

The faint scent of cedar and sandalwood lingered in the air.I frowned.Where am I?Then everything came rushing back.

The ceremony.

The restroom.

Zion?

My heart clenched.I tried to sit up.Instantly, dizziness washed over me.

"Don't."That voice.My body went rigid.

I slowly turned my head.

Zion.

He was sitting beside the bed.His elbows rested on his knees, his hands clasped together.He looked tired.As though he had been sitting there for a long time.

Our eyes met.And for one terrible second, my heart did what it had always done whenever he looked at me.

It fluttered.I hated it.I hated that after everything he had done, my heart still didn't know how to stop loving him.

"What..."My throat was dry.I swallowed."What happened to me?"

He immediately reached for a glass of water and held it out.I hesitated before taking it.

My fingers brushed his.I pulled away quickly.I drank anyway.

"The pack healer examined you," he said.

I lowered the glass.

"And?"

His expression changed slightly."She couldn't find anything wrong."

A bitter laugh escaped me."Of course she couldn't."

I stared down at my hands.They were trembling.

"No one has ever found out what's wrong with me."My voice became quieter."They've spent years trying."

I looked at my fingers."Every healer."

"Every physician."

"Every test."

"And every single time..."I swallowed the lump in my throat."they came to the same conclusion."

I forced myself to look at him."That I'm broken."

He didn't correct me.Maybe because he didn't know how.Maybe because he agreed.I looked away.I hated silence.Silence gave my thoughts too much room.

It reminded me of every time someone had called me weak.Every time someone had looked at me with pity.Every time I had watched other girls awaken their wolves while mine remained silent.

Every birthday where I had secretly wished that this would finally be the year.Every night I had cried because I wondered what was wrong with me.

Finally, I looked back at him."Why am I here?"

He didn't answer immediately.I glanced around the room.

"This place..."I frowned."I've never seen it before."

"It's a private room beneath the Alpha's Hall."

"Very few people know it exists."

My stomach tightened."You brought me here?"

He nodded."You lost consciousness."His voice softened."I couldn't leave you lying on the restroom floor."

I looked away."You should have."

His jaw tightened."Don't say that."

"Why not?"A quiet laugh escaped me."You already made it clear that I don't matter."

I looked at him."So why pretend now?"

"I'm not pretending."

I stared at him."You rejected me."

My voice trembled.

"You stood in front of the entire pack and called me unworthy."

My chest tightened."You chose my sister."

I blinked away the tears."And now you're sitting here acting concerned about me?"

I shook my head."I don't understand you anymore."

Zion rubbed a tired hand across his face.

"I know I hurt you."

The words made something inside me ache.

"Then why did you do it?"

The question slipped out before I could stop it.I looked at him.

"I loved you, Zion."My voice broke.

"I loved you before I even understood what love was."

His eyes lowered.

"I believed every promise you ever made."A tear slipped down my cheek.

"You told me we'd rule this pack together."

Another tear.

"You promised I'd become your Luna."

My voice became barely audible.

"So why?"

He looked at me.Guilt filled his eyes.

"I did what I believed was best for the pack."

I smiled.It wasn't a happy smile.

It was the kind of smile that came when you finally stopped expecting someone to give you the answer you desperately wanted.

"There it is."

I nodded slowly."The pack."

I wiped my cheek."It was always about the pack."

My voice cracked.

"Never about me."

"No."He stood."It wasn't like that."

"Then tell me."I stared directly into his eyes.

"What was it like?"

He opened his mouth.Nothing came out.

He tried again.Still nothing.And for the first time, I saw something I had never seen in Zion before.

The mighty Alpha had no answer.A bitter laugh escaped me.

"Exactly."I slowly pushed the blanket aside.

My feet touched the floor.Pain shot through my legs.

I gasped.My knees buckled.Before I could hit the ground, strong arms wrapped around me.

My hands landed against Zion's chest.I froze.

His heartbeat thudded beneath my palms. It was Steady.

His familiar scent surrounded me.Cedar and rain.The scent that had once made me feel safe.

The scent that had once meant home.

My eyes burned.Why did he still have this effect on me?Why couldn't my heart hate him as easily as my mind did?

For one dangerous moment, everything disappeared.There was no Jasmine.

Just him.And me.The way things used to be.

I hated myself for wanting to stay there.Zion tightened his grip slightly to keep me standing.

"Careful."His voice was gentle."You'll fall."

I swallowed."I can stand."

"Not yet."His voice softened."You're still too weak."

The word hit me like a slap.Weak.My entire life, that word had followed me.

I pushed against his chest."I'm not weak."

He loosened his grip."I hate that word."

My voice shook."You think I don't know what everyone says about me?"

I stepped away from him."I hear it every single day."

My frustration spilled out.

"Weakling."

I pointed toward myself.

"Wolfless."

Another tear.

"Burden."

I laughed bitterly."My own family calls me worse."

Zion's expression darkened."I never wanted you to feel that way."

I looked at him."It doesn't matter what you wanted."

My voice softened."It happened."

Silence fell between us.Then his gaze changed.

He looked at me as though he were trying to decide whether to say something.

"Sarah..."

I waited.

"When I carried you..."

He paused."Something happened."

I frowned."What do you mean?"

"I felt something."

My brows pulled together."What?"

He hesitated."It was strange."

His eyes searched mine."I've never experienced anything like it."

My heart began beating faster.

"For a brief moment..."He took a slow breath."I could sense your wolf."

Everything inside me froze.I stared at him.

"No."I shook my head immediately."No."

"Sarah—"

"My wolf doesn't exist."

"That's what everyone believes."

His voice was firm."But you shouldn't believe everything they say."

A sad laugh escaped me."That's what everyone knows."

I touched my chest."My wolf is dead."

My voice trembled."I've lived with that truth for twenty-five years."

Twenty-five years.

Twenty-five years of believing there was something missing inside me.Twenty-five years of watching everyone else become what I could never become.Twenty-five years of wondering why the Moon Goddess had created me only to leave me incomplete.

I looked at him."Don't give me hope now."

His eyes softened."When I carried you, I heard it."

I shook my head."No."

"I heard a howl."

My breath caught.

"It was faint."

He stepped closer."But it was there."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"No."I shook my head harder.

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

"You're lying!"

My voice echoed through the room."Believe me, Sarah."

I backed away."Believe you?"

I laughed bitterly."After everything?"

My chest tightened."You rejected me because I don't have a wolf."I pointed at him.

"You stood in front of everyone and told them I wasn't worthy."My voice cracked.

"And now you're suddenly telling me you sensed one?"I shook my head."I don't believe you."

He reached toward me."Sarah, please—"

"No!"

I stepped away."You lost the right to explain anything the moment you rejected me."

His hand fell.

"I won't let you confuse me."Tears gathered in my eyes."I've finally accepted who I am."

My voice trembled."I'm a weak, wolfless woman."

I swallowed."Maybe that's all I'll ever be."

He stared at me.

"But I've accepted it."I wiped my tears."I'll live with it."My voice dropped."But I won't let you play with my emotions anymore."

I turned toward the door." I need to leave."

"Sarah."I kept walking.

"Please."

I stopped.His voice sounded different.Almost pleading.

"Don't go just yet."

I closed my eyes.Why?Why was he doing this now?Where was this concern yesterday?Where was it when he stood before the entire pack?Where was it when he watched me fall apart?

Where was it when he chose Jasmine?

I reached for the doorknob.My fingers had barely touched it when a firm hand gently wrapped around my wrist.

I froze.The warmth of his fingers spread through my skin.

Then he pulled me back.I stumbled backward into him.My back hit his chest.His arm instinctively came around my waist to steady me.

My breath caught.

For one heartbeat, I forgot to breathe.His lips were close to my ear.I could feel his heartbeat against my back.

And the worst part?My heart answered it.I closed my eyes tightly.Don't.I couldn't go back.Not after everything.

Not when I had finally started learning how to live without him.

"Let me go," I whispered.

But my voice lacked the strength I wanted.His hold tightened slightly.

"Sarah..."

I swallowed."What do you want from me?"

There was silence.Then his voice came softly.

"Because I think..."He paused."We were both lied to."