Mag-log in“Ganda ng ngiti, a!” ani Aicka mula sa couch habang papalapit ako pabalik sa table namin matapos makausap ang apat na lalaki.
“Ang ha-hot nila, ‘no? Ang babango pa! Jusko! Gusto ko na agad i-uwi si Daniel, my love!” Rein squealed softly, half-hiding her excitement. Naupo ako sa tabi ni Sab, habang kaharap naman namin si Rein at Aicka. Tumikhim ako para maitago ang kilig na kanina ko pa pinipigilan mula nang makaharap ko si Dos. “Kalma lang kayo, tangina! Nakatingin na sila sa gawi natin.” Pasimpleng lumingon ang tatlo, at mabilis na nag-ayos bigla ng kanilang upo, parang walang nangyari. “Grabe sila makatingin, jusko! Minus points na naman ako sa langit nito. Iba naiisip ko kapag tinitignan nila ako,” bulong ni Sab habang tinatakpan ng cocktail glass ang bibig niya. “Grabe ka! Wet ka na agad sa tingin pa lang?!” Rein shot back, swirling the ice in her glass. “Ang bilis mo, ha!” “Gaga! Hindi wet agad! Pero swear, feeling ko hinuhubaran na ako kapag tinititigan niya ako! Gosh! Ang kupad pa, ang tagal magyaya na magpahinga kami. Kunwari lasing na lasing na ako, ganern!” “Pinagbabawal na technique ‘yon, Sab!” natatawa kong singit, and the whole table burst out laughing. When it was just us four, walang filter ang usapan. Bastusan, kalokohan, walang hiya-hiya. That was our safe space. Sa trabaho kasi, kailangan classy, professional. Pero sa ganitong set-up? No walls, just us. “Hi.” The voice made us freeze. Our heads snapped toward the sound, and our eyes widened. “Can we join you, girls? If you don’t mind?” Dahan-dahan kaming lumingon. “A-ah… s-sure! No problem!” nauutal kong sagot, bago ako tumikhim sa mga kaibigan ko para bumalik sila sa sarili. “Y-Yeah… sure!” Sab added quickly. Nagkanya-kanya ng upo ang apat, at sa ikinagulat namin, tumabi sila mismo sa amin. Kung sino ang target ng bawat isa, siya rin ang katabi. Oh, shit. He smells expensive. Napalapit ako sa gilid nang umupo si Dos sa tabi ko. Hinila ko pababa ang skirt dahil feeling ko sobra yatang nakikita ang legs ko. He leaned back, draped his arm over the back of my chair, and crossed his legs like it was second nature. When I glanced at my friends—well, they were already busy chatting with the people next to them. Woah. Kanina lang, mga pabebe pa. Ngayon, parang matagal nang magkakakilala. Tss. “So, you’re the one who owns this famous bar?” Dos asked, his voice low but steady. “Yeah…” “Hmm. Nice. I like it here.” His gaze wandered around the place, sharp yet approving. “Really? Thank you.” “How old are you?” Bigla niyang tanong, at napaangat ako ng tingin. Mas matangkad siya, kaya kailangan ko pang tumingala ng kaunti. “I’m 23, why?” His brows lifted, eyes slowly raking over me. “You’re just 23 and you already own a bar?” “Yeah. What’s wrong with that? I’m not a minor.” “I’m not saying you are,” he chuckled lightly. “I’m just… amused. At such a young age, business-minded ka na.” The amusement was obvious on his face. “Woah! Wait—” I tilted my head, teasing. “You sound like an old man. How old are you?” “Twenty-six,” he replied seriously. My gaze dropped again to his lips, couldn’t help it. He was playing with that tongue piercing like it was a habit. Twenty-six. Not bad. “Oh… not too old,” I muttered. “Yeah?” There he went again, catching his piercing between his teeth. My eyes stayed glued to it, traitor that I was. God, he was hot from every angle. “Masakit ba ‘yan?” I asked, finally dragging my eyes back up to his. His gaze locked with mine, brown, heavy-lidded, dangerously enticing.Bad boy eyes, but not the kind that scared you. If anything, they promised trouble—the kind that’s hard to resist. “Sa una…” he said softly, never breaking eye contact. Then he leaned closer, one knee folding onto the couch so he could face me fully. He propped his temple against his fist on the backrest, our faces now just inches apart. Shit. Too close. He reached out with his left hand, tucking a stray strand of my hair behind my ear. “Do you… have a boyfriend?” he asked slowly. “W-wala…” My throat bobbed as I swallowed hard. Every move he made had me on edge. Nakakailang, tangina. And yet… I didn’t want to pull away. His scent…fresh cologne mixed with a faint trace of alcohol, wrapped around me. “Why? You’re beautiful,” he said simply. My pulse spiked. “I don’t do serious relationships. I’m just… enjoying my life.” He studied me quietly for a few seconds. The noise of the bar seemed to fade, like we were the only ones there. Then he gave me a nod. “Good for you. Enjoy it while you’re still young…” Ayun na naman. Tunog matanda na naman kung magsalita. “Yeah—” I started, but he glanced at his phone, cutting me off. He checked the caller ID, jaw tightening. But he didn’t answer. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath. “I have to go. Nice to meet you, Mifi.” Napamaang ako. Ang bilis naman? Bitin na bitin ako sa usapan namin. Tumayo siya, towering over me, before turning to his friends. “Let’s go. I need to leave. Magpapaiwan ba kayo?” Agad na nag sitayuan ang tatlo. “No!” they chorused. “See you when I see you,” Dos said with a quick wink before walking off. “Nice to meet you, girls!” Daniel added cheerfully, and the four of them exited the bar. Our eyes followed them until they were out of sight. “Tss. Ano ba ‘yan?! Hindi man lang nag-extend kahit isang gabi!” Rein groaned dramatically. “Grabe ka naman! Extend agad? Gusto mo lang magpainit, girl!” Sab shot back. “Syempre! Malamig kaya! Duh!” “Hoy, gagi!” Aicka laughed at Rein’s bluntness. I stayed quiet, staring into my glass. I didn’t know what to make of the rush inside me. “Hoy, disappointed ka, girl? Hindi ka naka-booking?” Rein teased. “Tss. Not that. It’s just… I felt something fishy about them. Basta. Don’t mind me,” I said with a shrug, taking a sip. “Kung ano-ano ang naiisip mo! There’s nothing wrong with them. Stop stressing yourself!” Sab said, waving me off. “Yeah! Sayang nga, ‘no? May kasama na sana tayo na magpapainit sa atin sa malamig na Baguio! Gosh!” Rein whined dramatically. “What the heck, Rein!” Aicka couldn’t stop laughing at her antics. “What? Don’t tell me hindi rin kayo nanghinayang? Hello! Walang tapon sa kanila! Those men are the standard—a total package!” Rein declared. “Yeah, I agree. They’re really handsome and rich!” Sab nodded. “And take note, they’re cousins! No wonder magaganda ang genes. Sarap magpalahi!” Aicka added with a playful sip of her cocktail. “Look at this one, kunwari pa kanina, pero iba rin pala ang naiisip!” Rein shot back, tossing a tissue at her. Aicka only laughed harder. “They’re cousins?” I asked. That shut them up for a moment. “Yeah,” Sab answered finally. “The famous Heisenberg Cousins in their town.” Buti pa sila, may matinong usapan kanina. Samantalang kami ni Dos? Wala man lang direksyon. Tss. “Taga saan raw sila?” “Lipa,” Aicka replied simply. “Lipa?!” Napaupo ako nang diretso. “Nakarating sila rito sa Taal para lang mag-bar?!” “Yeah, famous daw kasi itong bar mo, kaya tinry nila. Teka… hindi mo man lang ba naitanong ‘yon sa kausap mo?” Sab asked. Napanguso ako bago uminom. “H-hindi…” Paano ba naman kasi? Pakiramdam ko, hinaharot na agad ako ni Dos. Tss. Sana magkita ulit kami. Sana mapadayo ulit sila rito. Famous Heisenberg Cousins pala, huh?Every pain serves a purpose. It teaches you a lesson, molds your strength, and eventually shapes you into a better version of yourself.When you feel like falling, remember why you started in the first place. Because giving up will never be the best option.Maraming beses akong sinubok ng panahon, at sa bawat pagsubok na iyon, gusto ko na lamang bumitiw. Because it felt like life was never meant for me. I wasn't happy. I wasn't loved. I wasn't accepted for who I was.But then I realized...why did God allow all of this to happen to me? Does He see me as brave? Does He know that I can overcome this?Yes. I will. And I can.The past years have never been easy. I kept fighting for my life. And with every battle I faced, I always asked myself: Was it all worth it? Have I become a better person? Have I reached the life that was meant for me? Am I truly happy?Naupo ako sa manipis na damuhan, marahan kong ibinaba ang dala kong bulaklak at sinindihan ang kandila. Hinaplos ko ang bawat letra n
TRIGGER WARNING‼️SELF-HARMPlease don't do this to yourself. Skip this chapter if you're not comfortable.—No one wants me here.No one can stay for me forever.They hate me. They can't love me.I'm a disappointment. A slut. A whore."You're nothing compared to her. You're not enough."I hear those words all the time. In the darkness of my room, where I'm all alone, they echo over and over again. All I can do is cover my ears and cry, because I can't see them but their voices never stop.My whole body trembles. My heartbeat races with fear. I don't know what to do."Stop... please... please..." umiiyak kong pakiusap.Sa tuwing nagigising ako sa madilim kong kuwarto, palagi nilang sinasabi sa akin na wala akong kuwenta. Na ayaw nila sa akin. Na hindi nila ako mahal."Oo! Hindi nila ako katulad! Oo! Mas magaling sila! Ganito lang ako, e. Tama na! Ayoko na!" paulit-ulit kong sigaw.Kapag may kumakatok sa pintuan, lalo akong natatakot. Hindi ko ito binubuksan sa takot na isa iyon sa mga
I was eight the first time I realized that "family" wasn't always what stories said it would be."Don't forget to tell your parents that we'll have a meeting tomorrow, okay? I need all your parents there," Mrs. Reyes reminded us before dismissal."Yes, Ma'am!" we chorused like we always did.Outside the gate, I saw Yaya Lora waiting for me — as usual. This was my everyday routine: go to school with Yaya, go home with Yaya. Never Mom, never Dad. They were always too busy, always somewhere else."Hello, baby Mifi! How's your day?" she asked, like she always did, the same warm smile on her face."I'm not a baby anymore, Yaya," I pouted. "And my day was fine. The teacher said parents need to be at school tomorrow.""Oh... sige. Ako na lang ang pupunta bukas. Anong oras daw?" she offered without hesitation.I stopped walking and looked up at her. "Why you? The teacher said parents. You're not my parents, right?""A-ah... oo. Pero alam mo namang laging busy sina Ma'am at Sir. Baka hindi sil
After that intense confrontation with my family, I never went back home.Days passed. Then weeks. And yet... nothing. Not a single call, not a single text, not even from Dos. It was as if we had all vanished from each other's lives.During those days, the weight on my chest never left... stress, guilt, sorrow, all piling up inside me. But instead of wallowing in misery, I chose to keep myself busy. Every single day, I went around visiting my bar's branches. I handled everything myself — from choosing the liquor and managing the expenses down to cleaning tables and wiping counters. Even the smallest tasks, I took on willingly. Because that was the only way I knew to distract myself... to forget, even just for a little while."Hi."Natigilan ako sa pag-inom at pag-iisip nang marinig ko 'yon, isang pamilyar pero hindi inaasahang boses. Lumingon ako at nakita ko siyang umupo sa katabing stool sa bar counter."Sinong kasama mo?" I asked immediately, glancing toward the entrance as if expec
Sometimes, in our desperate pursuit of happiness, we end up doing things we never thought we were capable of the things that, in the end, we regret.Pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari kanina, ang pagkabunyag, ang sakit, at ang pagkawasak...isang bagay lang ang malinaw sa akin: kailangan kong makausap si Mili. Kailangan kong ipaliwanag kahit isang beses man lang na hindi ko planong saktan siya. Hindi iyon bahagi ng plano ko. Oo, galit ako sa kaniya noon, pero hindi ko sinasadyang gamitin si Dos para lang iparamdam iyon sa kaniya. I just... loved Dos. And even when I found out they were together, I couldn't let go. I chose to sin rather than lose him.It was already late when I arrived home. The first thing I saw when I stepped into the living room was Mili — crying uncontrollably in Mom's arms.And there it was again, that familiar stab in my chest. Jealousy. Because back when I was the one crying, no one was ever there to hold me like that.Wala silang ginawa kundi ang talikuran ako. Per
Inalis niya ang kamay ko sa pisngi niya at bahagyang lumayo, parang biglang lumayo rin ang pagitan namin, hindi lang sa espasyo kundi pati sa kung anong meron kami."Mifi, kailangan kong habulin si Mili. Tatawag ako ng magha—""Itataboy mo na naman ako at ipahahatid kay Arthur?" I cut him off with a bitter laugh, kahit pa ramdam kong mabigat na ang dibdib ko. "Masaya ka pa ba sa 'kin?" I asked, my voice trembling as I forced myself to look him in the eyes."What?" he asked, obviously caught off guard."Last time I checked, you told me you were happy when you were with me. But why are you acting like this all of a sudden?" I swallowed hard, my chest tightening. "Dos, what are we? What am I to you?"Biglang nawala ang emosyon sa mukha niya, para bang pinilit niyang patayin ang kahit anong nararamdaman."You're really asking me what we are? Seriously?" he asked, his tone cold and serious. I couldn't answer. My throat felt dry."You know what's going on between us, Mifi. You knew it too w







