Chapter Six

Although Rae's head was pounding with everything that was said and done back at BloodMoon, she kept going.

She didn't know where she was going, that was the truth. She didn't have a map with her and she had no experience hiking or venturing too deep into the woods. She was the Alpha's daughter and so hunting was never her obligation. She was, however, taught to hunt and prepare the meat for consumption. It was basic training that every wolf had to have at some point in their lives. It was necessary. She was glad that she had done it at eighteen. She remembered most of it and so she would be alright. She wouldn't starve, at least.

Making camp was an entirely different story but she would have to adapt and learn. There was no turning back, not after what she said. She didn't want to, in any case, and it didn't matter to her how scared she was. She would keep her word and never return to BloodMoon unless it was under force. She doubted that they'd come looking for her, anyway. Her mother would never allow her to return after the humiliation she made them endure in front of the whole pack.

Rae kept walking. She was deeper than she had ever been in the woods and she felt free. The feeling lasted for the first two hours; she took in all her surroundings and she was thankful for the silence. It was peaceful, and she finally understood why so many wolves decided to abandon their packs and be rogues.

Still, she was wary. She tried not to make a sound because attracting unwanted attention was the last thing she wanted. She didn't know how or where she would settle so she kept going in hopes to stumble upon something. An empty cabin, anything. It was wishful thinking but it was all she had at the moment. She wasn't good at climbing trees and anyway, how would she build a fire in a tree?

There was a lot to think about.

Still, she wasn't scared yet. She had a lot in her and was eager to learn. She had always been a fast learner so she knew she would settle in nicely. She had to admit that there was a lot she hadn't thought about before she left, like taking another pair of shoes with her, but if things went wrong she'd shift and remain in her wolf form for the rest of her days. It didn't bother her. At least she wouldn't have to bother about cleanliness and small wounds.

Or having to cook food.

The forest floor was covered in a thick layer of leaves. They weren't dry so they didn't snap when she walked. The air was humid and she could tell it was going to rain. She'd have to find cover soon but she was nowhere near finding anyplace helpful. Now that she thought of it, how did she think she'd find shelter in the middle of the forest? Reality was different from anything she read or heard. She was alarmed but still optimistic. Only a few hours had passed since she left home and already she felt like days had passed. She kept going until her legs were crying out. There was no stopping, not unless she planned on sleeping under a tree and getting everything she brought with her wet. She heard thunder rumbling in the distance and a curse left her lips.

She began running. There was still nothing ahead of her except for trees and her optimism was leaving her fast. She wondered how long she'd be able to endure such an unpredictable life but again, she didn't have a choice. Returning was out of the question. They weren't family, they were enemies. Her mother's selfish plans tore them apart. It wasn't her fault. She had good intentions.

She never meant to hurt anyone.

Rae quickly pushed the thought out of her mind. Thinking about them made her think about Negan and the things he said to her. It hurt, she couldn't say it didn't. But the pain would numb over time. Nothing lasted forever. Not pain, comfort, riches, or even life. If life was the most precious thing of all and could abruptly end at any moment, what could be said about everything else?

"Come on," she muttered. "I've got to find something. Anything."

She slipped on wet leaves and came crashing down. She tried not to yelp in surprise. She didn't stay on the ground for too long, she had to keep going. She managed to scrape her elbows and palms, and she felt a tingle on her legs but she didn't have time to check. She had to be more attentive to avoid unnecessary accidents.

She hadn't remembered to bring bandages with her.

Rae felt the first raindrop on her skin and groaned. She was running out of time. She pumped her arms and legs, ignoring her pain, thirst, and sudden hunger. Finding cover was essential. She didn't want to shift to wolf form just yet because that would mean she'd lose the clothes on her body and her backpack would have to be left behind. But getting wet would make her sick. She didn't have warm clothes with her, or not warm enough, and starting a fire would be impossible.

Now that she thought of it, she should have brought a suitcase with food, medicine, and anything that would help her while she was out in the woods. Regret was heavy in her soul and there was no turning back. She couldn't go back without looking like an idiot and there was no guarantee that they would even let her in. Besides, she couldn't turn back even if she wanted to. She didn't know the way. She started running and didn't look back. There was no map of the forest. She could sniff her way back, that was true, but depending on how hard it rained, it might not be a solution.

She felt more raindrops and hope was leaving her body fast. She stopped abruptly and started looking around frantically. If she found a short tree, she'd probably be able to climb it. She didn't, but to her astonishment, she saw something in the distance. It looked like a wooden structure to her. Old, but standing. She rushed toward it with all the speed she could muster. Her hope was replenished when she saw that it was an abandoned cabin. She found one, after all. She felt fortunate and blessed and she made her way inside. There wasn't a door but that could be taken care of in the morning. As long as she had a roof above her head, she was happy.

It was a small cabin. There wasn't a bathroom or any rooms. It was just one large empty room. There wasn't anything she could lay on but she wasn't complaining. Besides, she was sensible enough to bring a thin blanket with her. It would help.

As soon as he made a pillow from her clothes and lay on the floor, rain poured down heavily. It beat against the roof so loudly that she couldn't hear her own breathing. The entrance was all wet but she was far from it so she wasn't complaining. She had to admit that the place didn't smell pleasant but it was better than being out in the rain. Her whole body ached and when she inspected her elbows, she saw that they were slightly torn. She didn't feel the pain yet but she would later on.

She was hungry but too exhausted to eat. She hadn't packed much because she didn't go to the kitchen. She simply took everything that was in her mini bar as well as the fruits from her fruit basket. She also filled a bottle with water so she would be alright for a day or two. After that, finding food would be a real hassle. Being away from everyone was a relief, though. Out here, she didn't feel judged and humiliated. She didn't have to constantly be reminded of her sister's betrayal. She didn't have to be Rae of BloodMoon, Negan of StonePaw's rejected mate. She could be whoever she wanted. Nobody, if the sound of that pleased her.

She lay down on her makeshift bed and closed her eyes. She slept peacefully and dreamt of nothing. She didn't know how long she had been asleep but when she woke up, it was dark and still raining. She tried to sit up and her muscles cried out. She soldiered through the pain. She had been fortunate, she had to admit it. What would she have done out in the rain for so many hours?

She rested her back against the wooden wall even though the wetness of it bothered her and searched through her bag for the goodies she brought along with her. She opened her water bottle and drank deeply, keeping in mind that she didn't have much left, but she simply didn't care. She drained the bottle and then stood up. There was rainwater trickling down the roof. She put her bottle under the thin stream and waited for it to fill. She has a sip when it was half-filled and decided that it would be good enough to drink. It didn't taste as bad as tap water and apart from the woody taste, she felt it was clean and safer to drink than water from a pond.

Once she drank to her heart's content, she opened a packet of crackers and ate all its contents in under a minute. She was overwhelmed by her hunger but firmly decided that it was all in her mind. She could ever remember being so hungry, perhaps the thought that she didn't have enough food was making her want to eat so much. But then she remembered that the packet of her crackers was her first meal in two days. The last meal she had eaten was when Negan joined them for dinner. She hadn't eaten on the mating day.

Rae looked at the empty packet in despair. Her stomach cramps were surprising and scary. She decided to have a banana. She had two more along with four apples, and there was another packet of crackers as well as a tub of yogurt, some cheese, and a jar of raspberry jam. She also had two bread rolls wrapped in a napkin. She can't begin to imagine how she thought they'd be enough.

How silly she was. How irresponsible.

She felt a little better after eating the banana but as she lay back down, she caught herself thinking about food. It was dark so her parents were probably having dinner. Kara, too. StonePaw was probably hosting a welcome dinner for their new Luna and she was eating to her heart's content while Rae was out in the woods, practically starving. It wasn't fair. But she remembered that she made her choice. Nobody forced her into this life. And she would endure it. She told herself that she would.

Sleep didn't come to her as swiftly as the first time. Her stomach was the reason why but she had to be cautious. She could easily eat everything in her backpack but she'd regret it in the morning. She'd have to be strong and accustomed to tightening her belt when necessary. She'd been irresponsible enough. She couldn't afford another careless mistake.

She closed her eyes firmly and tried not to think about home or dinner or anything related to BloodMoon. Her main reason for leaving was to forget them. Keeping them alive in her memories was the same as being there, among them. Only there, she'd be warmer and her belly would be full.

Rae groaned. "Stop," she told herself.

She must have fallen asleep because the next time she opened her eyes, it was daytime. The rain had stopped even though she still smelled it in the air. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Then, with her eyes still closed, she stretched her arms above her head and yawned loudly.

When she opened her eyes, she screamed. There was a man seated on the other side of the cabin watching her with an amused expression on his face.

And he was eating her last packet of crackers.