Chapter 3

My whole body felt sore. Every muscle hurt and every nerve felt like it was on fire. I’d come to consciousness only to fall back into the darkness from the pain. It continued. I don’t know how long, but when I finally could open my eyes, the pain had ebbed.

Staring up at a familiar ceiling, sunlight peaked through the windows and illuminated my room. Turning my head, Nate was curled up on the side of the bed. He was on top of the covers, snoring softly as he faced me. His face was a little pale, but outside of that, he seemed fine.

Moving my arm out from under the blankets, it felt like I had worked out too hard the day before. It wasn’t terrible and I could push past it. I sat up slowly, trying not to make my muscles work harder than they needed to. Inhaling deeply, it felt good to get a lungful of air again.

I wondered how long it had been since I collapsed. Magic was a hell of an ordeal. I didn’t expect it to be that bad. There was probably the worse pain I had ever felt in my life. Reaching out, I still felt Eros. He was too far away, or deliberately choosing to not come forward. There was going to be a point he’d talk to me. Eros could pout all he wanted, but he was still my wolf.

Slipping out from the bed, I headed into the bathroom. I looked like hell. Dark circles, pale skin, and even my cheeks looked a little sunken in. A few good nights of sleep would fix it. Maybe even a meal or two from Meredith would help as well.

Lifting off my shirt, I looked at my chest. There were bright fiery-red wounds over my heart. Runes burned into my skin, almost like someone had branded me. The lettering was the same as on the coin. I didn’t know what it meant, but it did at least tell me the magic worked. Whatever it was supposed to do was done or was working. At some point, I would need to test out my strength.

Nothing felt too different. Not at the moment. Turning on the shower, I made sure the water was warmer than normal before I stepped in. Hissing when the water touched the open wounds, I did my best to wash around them. The heat helped relax my body, and I could feel the soreness ebbing away. It was nice to have healing at a higher rate for times like this.

After feeling as clean and relaxed as I could, I got out and dried myself. Wrapping the towel around me, I stepped into my room. It had gotten exponentially more crowded since I stepped into the bathroom. Charles was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands in his lap. Nate had woken up and was leaning against the space between two of the windows.

“You want to explain what the hell happened?” Nate frowned at me.

Shrugging, I turned and opened up the closet. “Nothing to tell.”

Nate threw up his hands while Charles scoffed. I got my boxers and pants on before anyone said anything else. It was Charles who spoke up first.

“You want to at least explain what’s on your chest?”

“I said it’s nothing.”

Nate stormed up to the door as I pulled on a shirt. “You were in agony, Silas! It transferred to me. I barely got to you without passing out myself. Charles had to come and help drag you back to the pack house. That wasn’t you passing out drunk.” He pointed to my chest. “And those are runes…magic runes. They also look infected…”

“It’s nothing. It’s something that Aelia had given me. I just never got the chance to use it until now.”

They wouldn’t question it if Aelia gave it to me. I didn’t really want to explain that it was something my father gave me. I’d already talked to them about how I was feeling, and none of them understood. That was fine. It didn’t matter now because it was done.

Charles narrowed his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling that isn’t true?”

“I didn’t know it was going to cause me that much pain. I’d been given general information, but nothing about how it would feel when invoked. Sorry to worry you.” After I finished the last button, I walked out. “How long was I out?”

Sam was watching me from the bed. “Five days.”

I paused, my eyes widening. “Five? Really? Well, I’m sure work has piled up.”

“Silas…” Charles frowned. “…what the hell happened?”

“Nothing. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get started on getting things back to normal.”

Nate scoffed. “They will never go back to normal.”

“Oh no, they will.” My shoulders rolled back as I stood taller. “We are going to move forward. Obviously, we need to make some changes. We need to start more training if we can’t even protect our own borders. Having an Alpha Prince back us was a onetime deal, and I don’t intend on our pack needing that kind of help again.”

All three of them looked at me like I sprouted mushrooms from my head.

“What?”

“Silas…the pack is still…we are still…” Sam looked at Nate and then his mate. “It’s okay to take some time…”

I shook my head. “We don’t have the luxury to stop. This pack still needs to be run. We still have things to take care of, whether we are in mourning. As Alpha, I still need to continue to move forward. No matter what.”

“Silas…come on. It’s okay to be angry or sad. It’s okay to feel. No one is going to look down on you for it. It was Solaris, or rather, Aelia. Your sister. I mean, a lot has changed. We can pick ourselves back up, but we don’t need to be scrambling to do it. Especially you.” Charles looked at me sadly.

“I’m not angry or sad. I am focused on what needs to be done. If you need more time, then take it. I don’t need it. I’m good.”

Surprisingly, I was telling the truth. I wasn’t angry or hurt anymore. Part of me remembered being angry and being hurt as I looked at my sister’s pyre. It was like a dream, though, something I couldn’t quite grasp. That was okay. Those feelings would not help me run the pack, anyway. We had things we needed to do, and the fact that I had been out for five days would not help.

Moving Charles to the side, I stepped out of the room when Nate caught my wrist. He looked up at me with eyes that said he was still upset, but holding it back. The sparks that raced between us seemed more dull and not at shocking.

“We need to talk…still.”

Shaking my head again, I slipped my wrist out of his grasp. “There is nothing to talk about. I will give you time to mourn Aelia, but I need my Beta back. I want you to take over the ramp-up of training. We can sit down and discuss the new training regime when you are ready.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, Silas, and you know it!” Nate snapped at me.

Growling back, I stepped up to him, looking down as I continued to tower over him. “No, Nate. That is the only discussion we will be having. I will not be joining your pity party. Aelia is dead. For real, this time. Nothing is going to bring her back. We need to be stronger. Now that the First Alpha Prince is dead, there will probably be a new Alpha King. Someone may step into the Rogue King title as well. Someone who hates us. We need to be ready.”

Nate stepped away from me like I’d slapped him. I hadn’t even raised my voice. If anything, I lowered it to a measured tone. He held his hand to his chest, looking at me like he was searching for something. Whatever it was, he wouldn’t find it with me. I almost smirked, realizing that for the first time, I couldn’t feel him.

The bond that had snapped into place when Aelia died was dull, barely thrumming. Not only had the grief and anger vanished, a whisper in the back of my mind, but I had freed myself from the intensity of the bond. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head and took a moment to revel in my mind being my own again. That my thoughts and actions were my own.

“There is nothing else we need to speak about. Get your head in the right place, Beta. Once you do, come see me.”

Turning, I left the room and headed down the stairs. Meredith was in the kitchen and she turned, surprised to see me. She smiled widely, but also with a hint of what I could only assume was sadness.

“You hungry? You haven’t eaten in days.”

“Anything would be lovely. Thanks, Mer.”

She nodded and turned, dropping whatever she had been doing in favor of pulling out food from the fridge. “I’ll make a hearty sandwich and a side. Anything you want to drink?”

“Surprise me. I’ll be in the office when you’re ready.”

Her brow furrowed as she looked back at me. “Alpha, must you work now?”

“No rest for the weary. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be right as rain as soon as I have some food in me.”

I didn’t wait for her answer. Already the guys had bombarded me. Being able to breathe again was enough for me and I would hold on to that. Sitting down at my desk, I smirked as I ran my hands over the wood. For once, things were looking up. Everything could settle down and we could move forward.

There would be no distractions. Nothing that could or would take me away anymore. My focus was on building my pack to be the best. To rival that of the First Alpha Prince. Then economically thrive more than we had been. In order to do that, we would need to open up our borders to humans. That would be something I would slowly integrate, but it was the step forward our pack needed.

I could do this. Now, more than ever, I felt like I was Alpha. I was the one in charge. I was the one deciding. While my dad wasn’t always correct, especially later on, he wasn’t a terrible Alpha in the beginning. He was strong, and he helped this pack flourish. For once, a gift of his was useful and I could come into my own as Alpha without a shadow over my shoulder or someone holding me back.

My hand rubbed my chest, a slight pain coming from the wounds on my chest. If this was the price to pay, that was fine. I was finally free. Already, I felt stronger. The simple things holding me back the last couple of weeks, all the distractions, were gone.