Chapter 5

The next few weeks become a never-ending cycle of pain. It keeps happening over and over again. Sometimes the pain comes during the day, but most nights it wakes me from sleep like someone is tearing my body apart from the inside.

Dark bruises fill my skin in shades of black, blue, and deep purple, sometimes all mixed together in ugly patches that cover my arms, thighs, stomach, and chest. I do not need a doctor to tell me what they are because I already know. I read about them once in one of the books hidden in the pack library.

They are betrayal marks. A rare condition that occurs when a marked and mated werewolf is betrayed by their mate sleeping with someone else.

Every single day the pain hits me and sometimes it becomes so unbearable that I have no choice but to blast music through the sound system in my room just to drown out my own screams.

Each episode feels worse than the last. Like my body is slowly breaking apart under the weight of the betrayal.

I’ve started wearing long sleeves all the time so the maids bringing me food will not have anything new to gossip about with the rest of the pack. The last thing I need is for everyone to know how badly Xavier’s betrayal is destroying me.

The pain plus being trapped inside this room without sunlight for weeks has been driving me crazy and each passing day, I can feel myself slipping little by little.

The worst part is that there is no escaping it. Nothing I have tried has helped, and believe me, I’ve tried everything.

The pain feels like liquid fire spreading through my veins, burning me from the inside out until I feel like my body cannot possibly survive another second of it.

I can feel myself growing weaker with each passing day and some mornings it takes all my strength just to drag myself out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

Sleeping has become nearly impossible as well. Most nights I barely manage two or three hours before either the pain or the nightmares wake me again. Dark circles now sit permanently beneath my eyes and my body constantly feels exhausted no matter how much I rest.

The nightmares are somehow even worse. Every single time I close my eyes, I see destruction, death and blood.

It always feels horrifyingly real, as though I am not dreaming but actually living through it. I see this pack burning to the ground while screams echo everywhere around me. Men, women, and children lie dead across the ground with blood soaking the earth beneath them.

Sometimes there are body parts scattered everywhere.

Sometimes entire buildings collapse while people scream for help.

The part that haunts me the most is always Xavier. I always see him dead, his head severed from his body while his lifeless grey eyes stare directly at me.

Every single time I wake up shaking violently and drenched in sweat, unable to erase the horrifying images from my mind and almost immediately afterward, the pain returns all over again.

And as I curl up on my bed writhing in pain, I always wonder why I’m even worried about the dream coming true.

Why should I care about the end of the world or Xavier dying when neither he nor this world has ever given me anything good to hold onto? Why should I care when it feels like Xavier and the universe itself are trying to drag me into an early grave?

The sound of my bedroom door opening interrupts my spiraling thoughts and I slowly lift my head only to freeze in shock at the sight of Sophie, my former best friend.

We have barely spoken since she turned eighteen and discovered that her mate was Jayden, Xavier’s best friend and the Beta of the pack.

The moment Sophie realized who her mate was, she slowly started distancing herself from me until eventually she stopped talking to me altogether. She was terrified the pack would reject her as Beta female because she was associated with me. Which honestly made no sense considering everyone in the pack already knew she had been my only friend.

“You look like shit.”

I stare at her in disbelief, completely unable to believe that those are the first words out of her after years of silence.

Before I can even properly think, anger suddenly surges through me and I grab the nearest object beside me, which happens to be a lamp, before hurling it directly at her.

Sophie ducks immediately thanks to her werewolf reflexes and the lamp crashes into the wall behind her instead of smashing into her face like I intended.

The fact that she manages to dodge it only pisses me off even more.

“Have you come to gloat, Sophie?” I ask bitterly, struggling to sit upright despite the pain wrecking my body. “Did you come to see how pathetic I’ve become so you can run back and report everything to the rest of the pack while you all sip tea and gossip about me?”

“No, I—”

I cut her off instantly, not wanting to hear a single word coming from her mouth.

She was my best friend. The only real friend I ever had in this entire pack. She promised me that no matter what happened, she would always stay by my side, but the moment the pack’s approval became more important, she abandoned me just like everyone else.

How was I supposed to simply forget that betrayal and act like nothing happened?

“Did the pack send you?” I continue angrily. “They wanted details about how much I’m suffering, didn’t they? They wanted some entertaining story to laugh about later, so they sent you here to spy on me. Well congratulations, Sophie. Take a good look because this is exactly what they wanted.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” she says quietly, though she still looks hesitant standing near the doorway. “I just—”

“Get out!” I snap, my voice louder this time. I do not even mean to yell at her, but I am exhausted.

“Amelia, please listen to me.” Sophie says softly, taking a cautious step forward.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” I snap bitterly. “Anything that comes out of your mouth is bound to be vile anyway, so just go back to your pathetic new friends and the mate and pack you carelessly threw our friendship for.”

“Please just listen to me,” Sophie says softly. “I’m begging you.”

“I told you to leave!” I shout, my emotions finally boiling over. “Just leave already because I don’t want you here!”

Without thinking, I grab one of the books lying beside me and throw it at her head. Just like before, her werewolf reflexes allow her to dodge it easily, but this time she finally understands that I truly do not want her around.

For a few long seconds she simply stands there staring at me sadly before eventually turning around and walking toward the door.

“I’ll come back later,” she says quietly before leaving the room.

The moment the door closes behind her, I completely lose it. I feel unhinged and completely out of control.

Anger and pain consume me so violently that I grab the bedside lamp and hurl it across the room. The lamp crashes into the wall and shatters instantly, but somehow destroying it does not make me feel any better, so I grab something else, then another.

I trash the entire room in a blind fit of rage and heartbreak until eventually there is barely anything left untouched. Books are ripped apart and scattered everywhere while my sheets and duvet lie torn across the floor. My chair and desk are overturned, curtains ripped down and vases shattered into countless pieces, making the room look as though a hurricane had torn through it.

Eventually all my strength leaves me and I collapse onto the carpet near the bed before breaking down completely. Painful, agonized sobs tear from my chest while I cry so hard it becomes hard to breathe.

“They all hate you.” The whisper suddenly cuts through the room, making my entire body go still.

“No one wants you here.”

I had almost managed to convince myself the voices from before were simply paranoia brought on by stress and isolation but now they are back.

“They all want you dead.”

“They wish you were dead.”

“You are nothing but a weak, insignificant woman.”

“Why don’t you just end it already?”

“The world would be better without you.”

“Shut up!” I scream desperately, clutching my head tightly. “Just shut up!”

The voices only grow louder, making it impossible to block them out no matter how hard I try. I scream again, hoping my own voice will drown them out, but it does not work. They continue mocking me relentlessly until I can barely think straight anymore.

I once believed the cruel words spoken by the pack were the worst thing I would ever experience, but these voices are far worse. Their words sink deep beneath my skin, cutting through me piece by piece until it feels like my soul itself is splitting apart from the pain and just when I think I can’t possibly endure anything worse, the familiar agony of Xavier betraying our bond crashes through me again.

A scream rips from my throat as I collapse onto all fours, sobbing and shaking violently while it tears through my body like molten fire.

The pain tearing through my body is unbearable, the kind of agony I would not wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy. It feels as though my veins are being filled with molten metal while invisible claws rip through my insides over and over again.

“Can you feel that?” The whispers return again, slithering around me from every direction.

“Xavier is making love to Bianca.”

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and press my trembling hands over my ears, but it does absolutely nothing to stop them.

“We see everything.”

“They are in heaven right now.”

“Moaning each other’s names over and over again.”

A broken sob escapes my throat as the voices continue torturing me mercilessly.

“Did you know your mate screams Bianca’s name when he reaches his climax?”

“Oh, you should see the way he thrusts into your sister. It is almost beautiful.”

“Please…” I cry weakly, shaking violently on the floor. “No more. Please… I can’t take it anymore.”

My tears stream down my face while the voices laugh around me, their maniacal cackling echoing throughout the room as though they are genuinely enjoying my suffering.

I have no idea how long I remain curled up on the floor crying and screaming while the pain continues tearing through me, but eventually the agony slowly begins fading until only a dull ache remains behind, and then silence follows.

Slowly, I lift my head and freeze when I find two glowing red eyes staring back at me from the darkness.

My breath catches painfully in my throat as terror instantly floods through me because I recognize those eyes.

Before I can even react, a sharp pain suddenly slices across my stomach, making me gasp in agony.

“Soon, my queen.”

I hear a deep, rich voice say, right before my vision blurs and everything disappears.