WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW
As I stand by the Ghost Pack territory border, I look back on everything that has led me to this decision. I take a deep breath in and let it out with a heavy sigh. My mother’s eyes are full of sympathy and understanding, but also longing. Longing for me when I’m not even gone yet. And maybe longing for this pack. The tears pooling in her eyes mirror mine.
My father, on the other hand, looks stoic. I know he’s putting on a brave face, he would miss me almost as much as Mom would. Lachlan, my brother, couldn’t make it because he had to work.
This was my last time driving my red Fiat 500 for the next three months, so my parents came separately in Dad’s car. Dad’s old bitterness doesn’t allow him to step foot into Ghost Pack territory. Of course, that made Mom stay behind too.
“Be brave, hun,” Mom says, holding her sobs. “You can always call us.”
“Don’t baby her, Nora. She should focus on her training. Don’t call us until after boot camp,” Dad says roughly.
“Yes, Beta,” Mom and I say in unison.
Now, Dad isn’t really a Beta. It’s complicated. He is a Beta by blood and by right, so we show him respect by addressing him as such. But he doesn’t hold that rank or title. His wolf’s eyes aren’t a Beta’s gold, they’re pink – much to Dad’s chagrin and mine and Lachlan’s amusement. And that simple fact has shaped mine and my brother’s entire lives. Dad’s unhappiness and resentment towards Alpha Michael for not choosing him as his Beta drove our family out of Ghost Pack territory and all the way to Markham, where we lived amongst humans, as lone wolves.
That meant I didn’t get to live in a pack, didn’t get to experience the life of an average shifter. I get it that Dad is mad at Alpha Michael, but, as werewolves, we crave the pack life. If he’d stayed on pack territory, he could’ve worked as a warrior and proven his worth to Alpha Michael. Surely seeing his strength, intelligence, and work ethic would’ve made Alpha reconsider his choice of Beta. Dad would’ve had a better chance of claiming his birthright. Or he would’ve been a regular warrior. Would that be so bad?
We would’ve grown up around other shifters and wouldn’t have to hide our strength in gym class and lie to all our friends. We would’ve been able to run free in wolf form in the forest, and maybe Lachlan wouldn’t be mateless at 22 if he’d been around other females.
Maybe I wouldn’t be mateless at 19.
But I can’t, I’ve officially postponed the possibility of finding my mate by joining the Cadet Program. I signed off my time and energy for the next two years to join it. And, as a condition, I agreed to take medication that will suppress whatever physiological magic makes the mate bond happen in a werewolf’s body.
Goddess, please forgive me. If she didn’t want her children to be able to suppress it, she wouldn’t have allowed werewolf scientists to develop those meds, right?
I have to believe that is the truth. Because, as a she-wolf, I long for my mate. I long for the bond I’ve grown up hearing and reading about. I long for someone whose eyes will light up at the sight of me. I long for someone who will make me feel whole. I long for someone to run free with Jamie, my wolf.
“Damn straight, we do,” she huffs in my mind.
Jamie and I have argued about this so much. She wants to find her mate, mark and fuck and get pregnant as soon as possible. Like, yesterday. I do want to find my mate and mark and fuck – just no kids for a while… But, more than my mate, the one thing I long for is a pack.
The pull is so strong. The pull to be amongst my peers, to live close to nature, and be able to shift freely. To howl at the moon with my packmates, to participate in a full moon run. I’ve never had any of that. Living in a human city, we had limited space to shift. Dad and other lone wolves had an agreement with the local Alpha in the Markham area, and we got to shift in a small area within their territory every two to three months.
That’s it, once every two to three months. That’s why I joined the Cadet Program.
You see, the Cadet program was created about 50 years ago to help train warriors. Ghost Pack had just ended a war and had many casualties, and many buildings were destroyed. The war showed the former Alpha that his pack members weren’t trained well enough, and weren’t prepared to defend themselves and their pack.
So, he created the Cadet Program to train young shifters, and even though we’re no longer at war, it has continued. The idea is simple: you live a military life for two years. You train and you learn battle strategy, and you also help maintain the pack by doing “chores”. Back then, they needed people to help rebuild the pack and people to take over jobs that previously belonged to those who perished in the war. Nowadays, they – I mean we – mostly do the jobs no one wants. Cleaning. Cooking. Laundry. Lawn. Animal care. Snow removal. Trash and recycling. Washing cars. Stocking.
Why would anyone sign up to do that, you ask?
“Beats me…,” Jamie says in my head.
A sense of duty: you’re serving your pack, much like a human would serve their country by joining the military. You’re learning to defend your pack. You’re serving your Alpha and other ranked wolves.
But what sold me on it is that you get to go to college for free. At least, that’s what I told Dad. A two-year college program. The Cadet Program includes intensive physical training, chores, and education. You take courses in battle strategy and Wolfkind history, but you also work towards a normal college degree.
I told Dad I couldn’t pass this opportunity, that he’s always told me my education matters, and that a Beta’s daughter should be able to defend herself, have a proper formal education, and know how to perform womanly tasks. Eyeroll. He wants me to be the perfect Beta daughter. And so I’ve tried. Now, I’m using it to my advantage. There’s no better way to get an education than to do it for free.
Even though he resents Ghost Pack, Dad hasn’t officially renounced it and still has a sense of duty to it. Growing up, he told us all about it and we respect our Alpha very much. So I used the “serving my pack” excuse on him too.
He agreed, but he asked me to keep an eye on the ranked wolves and important people in the pack to assess his chances of reclaiming his Beta position. I figured if he learns the pack’s weak points and what needs to be changed, he can better present himself as an alternative for the job. I want my pack to have the best possible Beta, and I want my dad to be happy. I’m not so sure those two things align, though… Dad wasn’t chosen for a reason.
The real reason I’m here, though, is to be in a pack. I will work my ass off for two years and get a free college degree out of it. And I’ll get to do all the things I’ve always wanted as a kid and never could. I’ll finally belong. And Jamie will too. And that’s why she ended up agreeing with my decision. I would never make a life-changing decision without her approval. We are one, as the Goddess designed.
Oh, right, I forgot to mention the best part. Because so many people would want to join only for the free schooling, there’s a rule that you have to stay in the pack for two whole years after finishing the Program. During those two years, you’ll have to live on territory and work either for the pack or for a business within the pack. Just so they know they aren’t wasting their money on you for two years only for you to leave right after and take what you learned to some other pack.
Could you imagine that? Legally and morally HAVING TO live in a pack for four whole ass years? Dad would never allow me to move into Ghost Pack territory because of his issues, but he wouldn’t allow me to join another pack either. This way, I’m doing my duty as Beta(ish) daughter, serving my pack, getting an education, and getting the pack life. And, under those conditions, Dad allowed me to move.
This Program is Goddess-given. See, that’s why she has to be okay with the mate bond-suppressing meds. To make sure Cadets are fully dedicated to their duties, they- we have the mate bond suppressed for the duration of the Program.
It’s a high price to pay, but Jamie and I agree that it’s worth it. It’s a two-year-long sacrifice that pales in comparison to the benefits that come with it. In the two years after the program I’ll live on territory, and I’ll have a huge chance of finding my mate. If I find my mate, there’s no way Dad wouldn’t allow me to stay here to be with them.
If I don’t find them, maybe I’ll take a chosen mate or I’ll find a really good job – something important enough that it’ll make Dad allow me to stay. If his daughter did really well in the pack, he would be proud of my accomplishments and concede, right? I’ll find a way to convince him. I am never leaving this pack. I am a shifter. This is part of who I am.
“We’ll move if our mate lives elsewhere, though,” Jamie says.
“Of course,” I say.
After saying goodbye to my parents, I drive through the checkpoint and allow my tears to morph into happy ones. Sheer happiness out of taking my first breath of Ghost Pack air. This is where I belong. This is where my ancestors have lived for generations. This is where my grandfather and his father before him served as Beta. This is where I should be.
“This is where we should always have been,” Jamie huffs.
I take one last glance at my beloved car and approach one of the men dressed in bright orange vests, who are giving the new Cadets directions to the meeting hall, where we will report for duty.
This is it. The beginning of the rest of my life.
“Something’s fishy…,” Jamie murmurs.
“Are you having cold feet now? We’ve already signed the contract!” I reply.
“No. This is where the right thing to do. We’re destined to be here. But something feels… Odd.” She sounds unsure.
I take a deep breath and follow the crowd towards the meeting hall.
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HOLDEN’S POINT OF VIEW I can hear Nick skipping down the stairs and humming an upbeat song. If I didn’t know the guy as well as I do, I’d say he just got laid. “Morning, Alpha,” he says. “Beta” I reply. “Princess. Dragon. Satan” he nods at my siblings. Darcy, a.k.a. Satan, my youngest half-brother, blows raspberries at Nick, who mimics him. Soon, Sophie, my half-sister, and Dorian, my other half-brother, join them and they’re seasoning my breakfast with their collective spit. Great. Chef’s kiss. Which one of them is five, again? “Please eat, Nick. I’m in a hurry today. I have lab duty all day and I want to take a look at the barracks before I leave” I say. “Sure. Olivier is already there” my Beta replies. “Course he is” I chuckle. Olivier is one of my closest friends, and the only reason he isn’t a future ranked wolf is I ran out of ranks… In five years, when I become Alpha, Nick will be my Beta, Rhys will be my Gamma, and Sally will be my Delta. Olivier will be right
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW The Barracks are located not too far from the Pack House. They are four three-story high shipping container-style buildings, placed around an atrium. This atrium is what they call the Meeting Hall. A horde of young werewolves with smiley faces and bright eyes are in the Hall. I know there are 25 of us because that’s their yearly limit of incoming Cadets. I look around, taking in as many details as I can. There’s a small stage, and when four people walk into it, the Hall goes silent. I can feel their auras, and Jamie makes me bow my head. As a lone wolf living amongst humans, I haven’t had many chances of meeting ranked wolves, but right now, their four combined auras are overwhelming. I feel the urge to submit, to show that I am at their service. I feel the urge to obey and protect them. “They’re our leaders, chosen by the Goddess to guide us. It is our duty and pleasure to serve them,” Jamie says. I scoff. That feels like a bit of a stretch to me, but
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW “We are very happy to have you here,” Olivier steps forwards and says. “Ghost Pack is not at war, it hasn’t been at war or close to it for decades, but the Cadet Program is a most welcome spoil of war. It took Alpha Michael II a war to realize that his pack’s education and training were lacking, and now we honor him and all those who lost their lives in the Siege of Sandy Hills by ensuring their legacy endures.” “I like this guy,” Jamie purrs. “Our goal is not to train soldiers to win a war, our goal is to make every able-bodied pack member the living, breathing embodiment of what Ghost Pack stands for. We stand for education. We stand for strength. We stand for innovation. We stand for unity. We stand for equal rights. And we stand together.” “Heck, I’d vote for him,” someone next to me whispers, and I snort. A few heads turn our way, sporting scowls and frowns. “We believe each pack member should know the basics of defending themselves, but they shoul
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW CONTENT WARNING: TRANSPHOBIC AND ABLEIST LANGUAGE Sally leads us to a waiting room, and when my name is called out, I walk into Dr. Shaurya Patel’s office. I’m mesmerized by how dark her shiny eyes are – almost like a wolf’s. After taking my medical history and performing some routine exams, she looks up from her computer and beams at me. “You’re all set, deary,” she says. “Now, I will give you your first dose of MBS. As you’ve been informed in your preliminary interviews, you also have the option of taking birth control with it. Is that something you would like?” Heat creeps into my cheeks, and Dr. Patel seems to notice. “This is a judgment-free zone, Willow,” she says in a motherly tone, with a tight-lipped smile. “I don’t care what your sex life is like, I’m just offering the option of taking it along with your monthly MBS.” I am currently on the pill, but that’s not something I’ve ever been allowed to discuss openly. I never got to visit a doctor i
HOLDEN’S POINT OF VIEW All day long, Hendrix continues to get on my nerves. He’s mad we’re not taking the lead in the Cadet Program this year. He’s mad I’m “wasting my time” studying biochemistry instead of leading our people. He’s mad I’m not Alpha yet. He’s mad I’m not mated yet. He’s mad I’m not there welcoming the Cadets on their arrival. He’s mad I’m thinking in a human way. He’s mad I’m thinking too loudly. He might as well be mad I’m breathing. In previous years, while I was in college, I was able to take a more prominent role in the Program. Hendrix was very happy with that. Both of us are really passionate about improving the quality of life in Ghost Pack, and the Cadet Program is one way to do that. But, as a grad student, I’ll be less involved in the next few years. Within our territory, unbeknownst to most humans, we have a thriving town. We host a couple family-run markets, restaurants showcasing the cultural diversity in our pack, a small movie theater, apparel sto
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW As we get ready for the welcoming dinner, Felix, Xenia, and I get to know each other a bit better. It turns out Xenia’s father was born and raised here in Ghost Pack, then met his mate in Sol de Luna Pack, in Puerto Rico. The two of them lived there, and that’s where Xenia grew up. As the child of a Ghost Pack member, she was allowed to apply to the Cadet Program and decided to do so. She tried out FOUR TIMES and only now got accepted. She said she wasn’t the greatest at fighting, but she worked her ass off and made it. If she’s been accepted into the Program, that means she has to be good. And her commitment to it, training and trying out for four years? She’s definitely going to be an asset in this “not a competition” thing. I didn’t ask her about her glasses, though. I thought it would be rude. But I will figure it out. “Add that to the ever-growing list of things we need to learn about Wolfkind,” I tell Jamie. “Yes, ma’am,” she jokes. Felix grew
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW This should be the grandest moment of my life, because this awesome ass dinner is being thrown in my honor, in honor of all new Cadets. I should be giddy with excitement because I’m about to listen to Alpha Michael III welcoming me and thanking me for my service. I’m about to drink from his blood and pledge allegiance to his pack. My pack. I’m about to be part of a pack, the one thing I’ve always wanted. Instead, this is the grandest moment of my life and I’m giddy with excitement because mate mate mate mate mate mate. Mate! I don’t need to guess who my mate is. I don’t need anyone to tell me who my mate is. I can tell by his striking resemblance to Alpa Michael III and to the woman Felix called Alice. I can tell by his posture. I can tell by his huge ass aura. Oh, Goddess, his huge ass aura. Does he have a huge ass cock to match? Does he have A HUGE ASS? He’s perfect. I am Luna. I am Luna. I am Luna. I’m not only about to be part of a pack, but
WILLOW’S POINT OF VIEW “See ya!”?!? What the hell was that? Who the hell was that? The last thing I wanted to do was to say goodbye to him, to leave him. I wanted to mark him and spend the night making babies. What the fuck, Willow? Babies? I don’t want babies! Not now! Everything I’ve ever worked for, and dreamt of, is now just a shadow of an old dream, an empty shell. I wanted to be a great Cadet, to excel at fighting and college. I wanted to carve my spot in this pack, to fulfill my contractual obligations, and to live a regular, happy pack member life. Now, all I want is Holden. And I want him to want me. I desperately want him to want me. I want him to want me for me, not for the bond. I want him to fall in love with me, with who I am as a person. Because of me, not because of the bond. And that is why I left. “He seemed to want us pretty hard,” Jamie mumbles. “Yeah, to fuck. Would he want me as his mate, though?” I ask. “It doesn’t matter what he wants, he IS ou