The next morning, I woke up really late. I had tossed and turned all night long. I had hoped that Pip would come back, but he never did. Instead, I was left burning with desire for him all night. When I was with him, the heat he produced seemed to infect me and cause my fire to burn hotter for him as a result.
I had tried everything to cool off, including taking a cold shower in the middle of the night. Nothing worked. The only thing that would get rid of the fire deep inside me was adding more fire and letting it burn itself out. Unfortunately, he was keeping the fire I needed from me. I had cursed him most of the night. I knew he could hear every word of it and I was glad. I hope he was kept awake all night long too.
When I had finally emerged from my pit, it was gone midday and the house was empty. I didn’t even have the energy to get dressed and sulked down the stairs, still clad in my PJs. Heading straight to the fridge and pulling out everything I needed to make
EsmeI was hardly surprised by my little girl’s arrival. Brodie had made it clear that it was a possibility. She was tiny compared to her brother. I couldn’t help but see the comparison. She looked much more like me. I wondered if that was what we had looked like together as infants. I knew Brodie would have been considerably bigger than me, given the age gap. It still left me a bit more than uncomfortable that the three of us had been raised together, even for a short time.It was odd looking at the two of them lying on my chest. The size difference was ridiculous. I looked at Jackson, but he didn’t seem remotely concerned. The birth of my little girl had gone much more how I had expected than her brother had been. It was like he was too big for my body to handle. I felt better just knowing it was all over, even though the pains were still lurking around.We hadn’t managed to get much in the way of baby bits. It was difficult when my pregnancy had been
BrodieI couldn’t stay in there when I could see how much distress she was in. She hated me so much that even seeing me was too much. I stood out there in the rain, as though everything going on inside was nothing to do with me. The baby or babies were already more Jackson’s than mine and the idea killed me. He would be welcomed into that room while I stayed outside in the cold. I never could have imagined the gravity of the consequences of my mistakes.For a while, I had thought Jackson wanted her as his own and although I had been wrong, it had turned out that way, anyway. Jackson was her partner in everything and had been there for her and the baby. I was nothing, and he was everything. I felt like my heart was literally tearing in two. Between my pain and hers, I could barely stand it. Everything was coursing through me and it was too much to handle. The pain, the rage, the longing for Jackson. I could hear her crying out his name in her mind over and over
EsmeThe pain seemed to reverberate through me, wave after wave. I needed Jackson. He was the only one that would be able to stop me from finding comfort in Brodie. Each time he reached for me, I pulled away, but I was getting weaker in my resolve. I couldn’t let him get close. My need for him was too great. If I dared give into him, I would be lost to him. I loved him so much, but it didn’t change everything he had done. I needed a distance between us, especially at that moment.So many times, Jackson and I had discussed how hard it would be for me to see the baby and not let my love for Brodie creep back in. Love was a convincing force. It could easily persuade me to accept the status quo at the camp. To make me think that second place was better than not having him at all. I could see the concern in his eyes, and it was enough to make my resolve soften. Seeing him like that was enough to convince me that I was the only person he ever looked at like that. Ex
BrodieI felt the change in her instantly. The fear screamed at me silently from across the room. I turned instinctively to her and followed her gaze towards Marcus. I never should have let him come to the house. She was in a vulnerable state. I never considered that she would see him as a threat after she had kicked his ass the way she did. It wasn’t until that moment that I realised she wasn’t the same person that had dealt with him before. The confidence, the recklessness had all disappeared.“Just go! Find Jackson and get him back here.” Mikkel had already filled them in on where he had gone and possible routes home. I was confident they would have him back at the house in no time. After I shut the door, I was left with nothing else but to face her. To try to explain why Marcus was there, but she was hardly in a good enough condition for that conversation. If I was going to have a hard conversation, that wasn’t the one I wanted to start with. It wasn’t as
EsmeI lay there looking at the scene before me, in the darkness and not knowing what the hell I was looking at. The pain was immense and Mikkel had made it clear I was in trouble. My body was fighting against itself and it was ripping apart from the inside out. The fever was still blaring and between that and the pain, I must have been hallucinating. Why else would I have seen Brodie tousling with Mikkel on the floor? I wondered if it was wishful thinking. If my subconscious was crying out for him and had conjured him up in my mind.“Seriously, mate, I’m just trying to help her. Will you stop and listen?” The ball of fists and feet seemed to come to a stop. Leaving the two of them lying on the floor. Brodie on top of Mikkel. I let out a scream as another bolt of pain shot through me. There were so many pains it was impossible to tell what was due to the contractions, and what wasn’t. The only reason I even had a clue what was happening to me was because Mikke
BrodieEight Weeks AfterWe had travelled constantly and arrived around twenty miles from the east coast. All it meant was that it was time to turn back on ourselves and head south-west. We travelled from coast to coast, heading south as we went. It was taking forever, and we were running out of time. I was lying on top of my sleeping bag under the temporary canopy I had put up in the trees when Marcus appeared in front of me. At some point, we had built some form of trust. He didn’t seem like he wanted to walk away anymore. Once I confided in him that Esme was pregnant, he seemed to be as concerned as I was.It was probably an act, and I had already made it clear to him that he would be chained again before we got to her. I wouldn’t put her at risk. I didn’t put it past him to play along just to get close enough to try to take her out again. For the time being, at least we were drawing less attention when travelling. “What’s up? You best not b