Chapter 7: Change

“I almost had sex in Paris!” Hysterical na sabi ni Zari pagkatapos naming ilagay sa kwarto ang mga dala niyang bagahe. Well, hindi naman nakakapanibago sa'kin kung ang dali niyang makahanap ng taong maka intercourse niya in an intimate way.

I mean, she's totally liberated even when it comes to clothes. Well, hindi naman sa nagmamalinis pero if showy ako the way I dress, she's more than that.

“Should I say, congratulations?” Sabi ko at ngumisi. She then looked at me, I mean she's staring at me. For a moment, there was silence in her room, I could almost hear crickets. “You're really my best friend.” Sabay bato nya ng unan sa’kin.

For a couple of minutes, nag babatuhan lang kami ng unan like a kid playing around without the burden of life complexities.

"So, how's life in Paris? The city of love?" I asked mysteriously, our laughter subsiding as we settled comfortably on the bed.

"There's so many guys..." she began, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Before she could continue, I playfully threw a pillow at her, cutting her off mid-sentence. The pillow hit her square in the face, and for a moment, she looked stunned. Then, we burst into laughter.

Hay, namiss ko ang araw na'to.

“Huy grabee kana sakin ha! Alam mo namang hilig ko talaga ay lalaki.” Sabi niya with matching gigil. Nakatakip ako bigla sa aking tainga. Oh my god! How I hate to hear those words.

“Hindi mo na kailangan sabihin sakin yun! Matagal ko ng alam!” Pinagdiinan ko talaga ang bawat salitang lumabas sa aking bibig.

Mula pa noong high school, hindi talaga naubusan ng mga manliligaw itong si Zari. Kahit saan siya mapunta, laging mayroong mga lalaking nahuhumaling sa kanya.

Pero noon hindi nya gaanong pinansin, pero simula kasi nung masaktan siya ng sobra, naging play girl na si Zari. Nakita ko kung paano siya nasaktan at kung paano niya ito hinarap. Ang dating Zari na malambing at mapagmahal ay nagbago at naging isang babaeng hindi na madaling magtiwala.

She's too occupied with protecting herself from falling again. All was just her coping mechanism.

“Zar,” tawag ko sa kanya habang abala sa pagliligpit ng mga gamit. “Ayokong makita kang muling umiiyak dahil sa lalaki.” Agad siyang bumaling sa akin at nakita ko kung paano umasim ang mukha niya.

“What are you trying to say? Na? Baka masaktan muli ako dahil sa mga ginagawa ko ngayon? Sabi niya sa malisyosong tuno.

Zari, ang sinasabi ko lang ay...," simula ko, ngunit hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin.

“Trust me, I won't be drawn to my own medicine.” Puno ng pait ang kanyang mga binitawang salita. Perhaps, next time we'll talk about this in a more serious way.

I trust her. She had learned from her past mistakes and maybe was determined not to repeat them.

“I think you need to rest already. I'm sure pagod ka sa byahe.” Sabi ko sa masiglang tuno. I don't want her to feel bad.

“Yes, you too. I'm sorry.” Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit. She's my friend, I couldn't bear na makita siyang nasasaktan. Pumunta ako sa aking kwarto, kinuha ko ang larawan ng aking mga magulang.

Hindi ko namalayan ilang minuto ko na palang tinitigan ang kanilang mga mukha.

Pilit kong pinakalma ang aking sarili sa pag iisip ng mga bagay-bagay. Marami pa akong dapat solusyonan at pagtuunan.

Kinabukasan, nagulat ako sa ingay galing sa kusina. Agad akong bumaba para e check ito. Sa bawat hakbang na aking ginawa patungo sa kusina, lalong tumitindi ang ingay. Nang makarating ako sa kusina, nagulat ako sa aking nakita.

I didn't expect her to be this lively. I wanna see her like this everyday. Hindi ko mapigilan ang aking sarili na ngumiti.

"Why so early? Ang aga mong nambubulabog ha!" sabi ko habang pinipigilan ang aking tawa. Nakita ko ang kanyang mukha na puno ng saya. Ganito si Zari, ang bilis niyang magtago ng tunay niyang nararamdaman.

"Sorry, hindi ko sinasadya!" sagot niya habang pinupunasan ang kanyang noo na puno ng pawis.

Before anything else, I decided to stretch my body, feeling the tension from last night's worries slowly ebbing away.

“Do you need my help, Zars?”

“No thanks, just prepare yourself to work!” At oo nga, I almost forgot lunes pala ngayon.

Mabilis akong naligo, pagkatapos kumain. I suddenly realized, nag improve yung luto ni Zari sa adobo ha. “Did you learn to cook your adobo in Paris?” tanong ko sa kanya, habang tinatikman ang kanyang luto.

Napangiti siya sa aking tanong, “someone taught me how to cook it better.” Habang sinasambit nya ito, parang may kakaiba. “At gusto ko kasing may may ipagluto sayo pag-uwi ko." Hinggil niya.

“Hmmmmmm, you owe me a lot of chikas.” Sabi ko sa malambing na tuno. “Perhaps, maybe next month or year, ipakilala ko siya sayo.” Sagot niya.

Hindi ko na lang siya muling kinukulit pa tungkol sa mga naging nobyo niya. I know she knows how to control her limitations.

“Okay if that's what you want. Anyway, I need to go. Baka ma late na naman ako at mapagalitan.” Sabi ko sabay kuha ng bag ko. I kissed her on checks habang siya ay busy sa pagtitipa ng phone niya.

Hay naku!

I'm already in my cubicle, ready to start the day's work, my fingers poised over the keyboard. The morning's events with Zari had left me in a good mood, and I was eager to channel that energy into my work.

“Good morning, Ms. Forbes!” Jeanne greeted me na sinundan pa ng ibang katrabaho ko. “Good morning din sa inyong lahat.” I greeted them back while smiling. Sa gilid ng aking mata, I saw him walking towards me.

I didn't face him up. Buo kong tinutok ang aking mata sa computer. I could feel his presence nearby, his eyes probably on me, but I chose not to acknowledge it. I was still processing the events from the previous day and I needed some time to gather my thoughts.

“Good morning, Ms. Forbes.” Agad akong napaitlag sa aking inupuan ng bigla itong magsalita. Shit. “Oh… I'm sorry if nabigla kita.” Puno nitong sabi. Agad akong nakaramdam ng hiya pagkatapos.

“Hello good morning, Mr. Chu.” I smiled back at him, para lang matakpan ang kahihiyan naramdaman. “What's good in your morning, po? Tiningnan ko siya at tiningnan niya ako. Tila para akong nalulusaw sa mga titig niya.

What the hell happened to me?

Hindi siya sumagot, he's just like checking my inner core to my outer core. Bakit ba? Ganito ba talaga? Am I hallucinating?

"Have you eaten your breakfast already?" tanong niya sa akin na may lambing sa kanyang boses.

"Y-yeah, Sir… ahhhh kumain na ako," putol putol kong sabi. What's happening to me? Like girl, what's wrong with you?

“A-are you okay, Ms. Forbes?” I tried to look at him straightly kahit pa napakahirap ito sa akin. Especially, mostly ng mga ka workmates ko ay nakikinig sa amin na tila nanood ng isang teleserye.

“I'm okay po, and if you don't mind, may I ask kung may kailangan po ba kayo?” Diretso kong sabi sa kanya. “Sorry to interrupt you, but, I'll just want to say… you did a great job these following days.” Sabi niya at tuluyan na akong tinalikuran.

Naramdaman ko ang malakas na tibok ng aking puso. His voice are like drugs. I don't even know how to react or how I should react.

“Uyyyy Ms. Forbes, close na kayo ni sir?” Mabilis kong binalingan si Carlo, one of my workmates here st magaling na arkitekto, medyo palatawa din.

“Hindi. Maganda lang siguro ang mood nun.” Pagpapaliwanag ko.

I faced my laptop and began my work, my mind filled with the numerous tasks that awaited me as an architect. The soft clicking of the keys serves as a comforting background noise.

From drafting designs to coordinating with clients and contractors, my role as an architect was both demanding and rewarding.

Perhaps, I need to unwind. The feeling of the weight of the day's work pressing down on me. Dagdagan pa ang problema ko tungkol sa pagkamatay ng aking mga magulang.

The world is so heavy.