The Wild Side of Despair

"Akala ko ba hindi ka dadalo?" bungad ng aking kaibigan na si Zari.

Honestly, I don't really have a plan to attend. But still, she's my best friend. Ayokong magtampo siya just because of my lame excuses. Well, it's her 24th birthday today, and same as before, nandito kami ngayon sa isa sa pinakasikat na bar sa Pilipinas.

Ayoko talaga sa mga ganitong lugar, I easily felt dizzy, perhaps because nasusuka ako sa amoy ng sigarilyo and I'm not used to drinking alcoholic drinks.

The dress I was wearing tonight was a classic navy blue, hugging my figure in all the right places. It was tailored perfectly, accentuating my waist and falling just below my knees. I paired the dress with nude heels that elongated my legs and added an extra touch of sophistication. A delicate silver necklace graced my collarbone, and I chose small pearl earrings for a timeless look.

My hair was styled in loose waves, cascading over my shoulders, and my makeup was natural, highlighting my features rather than overpowering them. A touch of blush, a hint of mascara, and a soft pink lip completed my look.

"Magpasalamat ka nalang na pumunta ako with this kind of place, or else wala kang matinong tao na makausap dito!" Iritado kong sabi. I don't really understand why people choose to drink, kung isusuka lang rin naman.

They're wasting money at mas worse pa ay pera ng kani-kanilang magulang.

"C'mon girl, you're in your mood, na naman. Can't you just be happy for me, kahit ngayon lang?" Sabi n'ya sabay irap sa kawalan. "And can you just celebrate your birthday again in a decent place?" Agap ko.

And as usual, tinawanan lang nya ako at iginawi sa mga taong hindi ko kilala para makihalubilo. Sa unang pagkakataon, naramdaman kong ako'y naliligaw at nahihiya.

Sari-saring mga tao ang nasa bar. May mga taong nag-eenjoy sa musika, sumasayaw sa indak ng tunog, habang ang iba ay masaya na umiinom at nag-uusap-usap. May mga regular na parokyano, mga turista, at mga taong tulad ko na bago lang sa lugar.

But it all felt so foreign to me. The loud music, the sea of faces, the idle chatter - it was overwhelming. I was more comfortable in quieter settings, more intimate gatherings. This was a world I was not accustomed to.

...

The bar was filled with a mix of people - groups of friends laughing and chatting, couples lost in their own world, lone individuals nursing their drinks.

I noticed the bartender expertly mixing cocktails, his movements fluid and precise. The shelves behind him were lined with an array of colorful bottles, each promising a different kind of escape.

The decor was tastefully done, a blend of rustic charm and modern elegance. The wooden tables and leather stools added a cozy warmth to the place, while the exposed brick walls and industrial-style lighting gave it an edgy vibe.

And here we go again. I tried to fit in, to mingle and make conversation. 

"Hey, what's up?" Isang lalaki ang biglang lumapit at kumausap sa akin. "May I know you? Sa pagkakaalam ko, he's one of a friend ni Zari sa kabilang circle of friends.

"Hey, just call me Lhianna." Sabi ko sa malumanay na tinig. My complete name is Hestia Lhianna Forbes. Only my family members or close friends ko lang ang pinapayagan 'kong tawagin akong Hestia. I can say that I'm gifted, basta hitsura ang labanan.

My eyes, a deep shade of brown, which I inherited from my mother, are my most striking feature. They light up under the sun, radiating warmth and kindness. My lips, a gift from my father, are naturally rosy. Some say they're my most captivating feature, but to me, they're a reminder of my roots. My hair, a cascade of dark curls, falls down to my shoulders. It's soft and shiny, and when I tie it up in a ponytail, it gives me a polished look. My skin is a lovely shade of olive, smooth, and flawless. It's a testament to my meticulous skincare routine and my healthy lifestyle.

Overall, I can confidently say that I'm beautiful. But my beauty isn't just skin-deep. My intelligence, my determination, my ability to love and forgive—these are the qualities that truly define my beauty."

I look closely at the man beside me.

Walang duda, gwapo, at mistiso ang lalaking ito. Ang kanyang mga mata ay parang naglalaman ng libo-libong kwento, at ang kanyang ngiti ay may kakaibang kislap na hindi ko maiwasang mapansin. Ang kanyang balat na parang kayumanggi na ginto, at ang kanyang buhok na parang kahel na araw, nagpapahiwatig ng kanyang mistisong lahi.

While we're talking, hindi ko maiwasang hangaan ang kanyang mukha. Pero higit sa kanyang pisikal na anyo, naaakit ako sa kanyang kabaitan at katalinuhan.

His words are full of wisdom. Indeed, he is a man of principles. Salungat sa mga nakilala ko, mostly dito sa bar.

Maybe I'm just being delusional.

"By the way, my apologies for interrupting you here. I just want to talk to someone since I'm not used to partying." He smiled. 

Dahilan kung bakit naging visible yung dimples nya.

"Ah no, you don't have to say sorry. Actually, parehas pala tayo, hindi masyadong gusto ang mga ganitong lugar." Sabi ko trying to lighten up the mood.

"Kaya pala, when I saw you kanina, you looked uncomfortable at iniwan ka pa ni Zari." Sabi n'ya na ikinagulat ko. Ibig sabihin, kanina pa nya ako pinagmamasdan.

"So, you're stalking me, pala. Huh?" I said while smirking at him.

He smiled, "Parang ganun na nga, and besides, you're alone. Mahirap na baka may mangbastos sa'yo, you look innocent pa naman in areas like this." He sighed. I saw a ghost of a smile on his face and nodded. I really see him as a mature man. Ilang taon na kaya 'to.

"May I ask?" I said, looking at him straightly. "Yes, of course. You may ask at kanina pa tayo nag-uusap." Sabi n'ya na ikinatawa naming dalawa. Well, it sounds a bit informal for a not-too-close friend to ask about his age.

I ask him, "How old are you, na pala?" But he just smiled and replied, "Age is just a number, isn't it?" His response left me a bit puzzled, but I couldn't help but smile at his playful evasion.

Hours had passed. It's already 2 a.m. in the morning.

Nagpaalam na ako kay Finn. Yes, his name is Finn. We chit-chatted a bit, and tuluyan na akong lumayo.

I searched Zari, kahit na sobrang na suffocate ako sa mga tao. Pagod na ako at masakit na ang mga paa ko.

Habang hinahanap ko si Zari, I felt a sudden strange feeling. Ang musika ay tumatalakay sa aking pandinig, at ang mga tao ay sumasayaw na parang wala nang bukas.

And finally, I saw her. Sitting peacefully in the lap of a man. Why do I have this kind of friend? Akala ko ba may boyfriend na sya at bakit heto, nasa kandungan ng isang lalaki.

Agad kong hinila si Zari mula sa pagkakaupo sa kandungan ng isang estrangherong lalaki. Nakaramdam ako ng pangamba at galit. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagpapabaya sa ganitong paraan.

"Holy mercy! What are you doing, Zari Azrael?" I screamed. Tumingin lang siya sa akin, medyo nalilito at lasing.

Maybe this is normal for a place like this, but not for me. But, hindi dahil nasa bar tayo, ibig sabihin ay pwede na nating kalimutan ang ating mga limitasyon at responsibilidad.

Habang nagtitipa ako ng numero para sana humingi ng tulong, may isang lalaki ang biglang umalalay at ipinasan si Zari. He's handsome and somehow looked genuinely concerned.

Nakita ko ang kanyang malalim na mga mata na puno ng pag-aalala, at ang kanyang matipunong katawan na handang magbigay proteksyon.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I said, trying to understand the situation. "Can't you see? Helping." Maikli nyang sabi. Biglang tumaas ang altapresyon ko, aba't napaka arogante naman pala nito.

"Next time, bantayan mo ang kaibigan mo." Puno nya at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad patungo sa labas ng bar. "And who are you to dictate me? Imbis na magpasalamat ako para sa tulong na binigay mo, I can't because you're too proud of showing me your true identity." Diretso kong sabi.

He just looked at me for a second and smirked. "Keep your acknowledgement to yourself, Miss! I don't need that!"

Mabilis kong kinaway ang taxi na paparating sa amin, at sinabi ang address. Agad kong inalalayan si Zari papasok dahil parang sasabog na ang ulo ko sa lalaking nasa tabi ko. I think kunti nalang at makakatikim ito ng sapak.

Nasa taxi na kami at iritado kong sinarado ang pintuan ng taxi na sya namang ikinagulat ng driver. Huli ko ng napagtanto na nakikisakay lang pala kami. Umandar na ang taxi at nilingon ko sya. He's standing and looking at the back of the taxi intently.

Ano? Makikisabay rin s'ya sa amin?

Sana bumalik na lang siya sa itlog ng kanyang ama," pabulong at galit kong sabi. Hindi ko mapigilan ang aking sarili na maramdaman ang ganitong emosyon dahil sa kanyang ginawa.

"Okay, ka lang po, ma'am?" Biglang sabi ng driver na may halong pag-aalala. "Sa tingin mo manong, okay lang ako?" Dahil sa galit ko sa lalaking yun, hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko.

Tumahimik nalang si manong at hindi na nang usisa pa.

Tiningnan ko si Zari na nakatulog dahil sa kalasingan at walang kamalay-malay sa mga nangyayari.

You owe me b*tch.

But what is this feeling? God! Those jerks have a way of getting under my skin! I can't understand why. I've always told myself that I wouldn't let any man affect me this way, especially not a jerk like him. But here I am, feeling all these strange emotions that I can't explain.

I tried to shake off the feeling, telling myself that it's just the stress. But deep inside, I knew it was more than that.