The Life I Left Behind

I did not know where I was going when I walked out of Victor’s apartment that night. I only knew that I could not stay there another minute. The cold air touched my face as I stepped outside, and I pulled my coat tightly around myself while my suitcase rolled behind me toward the street. Every step felt heavy, but I refused to stop, even as Victor called my name several times before I reached the building entrance.

I did not turn around. If I had turned around, I was afraid I would see the man I had loved instead of the man who had just broken my heart, and I was afraid that one look at his face would make me forgive him. I knew that if I forgave him that night, I might never have the strength to leave again.

My phone started ringing, and I knew it was Victor without even looking at the screen. I let it ring until the call ended, and when another one came immediately after, I switched my phone off completely. For the first time in six years, I was completely alone, and the thought frightened me more than I expected.

I had always had Victor. Whenever I was worried, I called him. Whenever something good happened, he was the first person I wanted to tell. Whenever I had to make an important decision, I considered how it would affect our relationship. Now there was nobody beside me, and I stood on the sidewalk with my suitcase, watching the passing cars while realizing I had nowhere to go. My parents lived in another city, and I could not imagine calling them at midnight to explain that my relationship had ended because the man I planned to marry had chosen another woman instead.

The only person I could call was Nora. I switched my phone back on and dialed her number, and she answered after the first ring. “Where are you?” Her voice was still sleepy, but the moment she heard me breathing on the other end, her tone changed completely. “What happened?”

I tried to speak, but nothing came out.

“Please tell me you are safe.”

“I left Victor,” I finally managed.

There was silence on the other end before Nora asked quietly, “What did he do?”

I closed my eyes. “He was with Sophia.”

Nora did not speak.

“He proposed to her,” I continued, and I heard her take a deep breath before asking again, “Where are you?”

“Outside.”

“Outside where?”

I looked at the building behind me and suddenly felt embarrassed. “I do not know.”

Nora went quiet for a moment, and then she said firmly, “Send me your location.”

“Nora, I do not want to disturb you.”

“You are my best friend. Send me your location.”

Twenty minutes later, Nora arrived, and the moment I saw her car, the tears I had been holding back finally fell. She got out and rushed toward me, and I dropped my suitcase and let her wrap her arms around me, crying against her shoulder without saying a single word. Nora held me tightly and whispered, “You do not have to be strong tonight,” and those words broke me completely.

I cried until my chest hurt. I cried for the six years I had given Victor, for the future I had imagined so clearly, and for having believed that I was loved. Most of all, I cried because a part of me still wanted to go back to him.

Nora took my suitcase and placed it in her car. “You are coming home with me,” she said, and I nodded because I had no strength left to argue. Her apartment was small, but it felt peaceful, and when we arrived, she made me tea and sat beside me on the couch while I stared at the cup in my hands.

“I feel stupid,” I said.

“You are not stupid.”

“I ignored everything.”

“You trusted someone you loved.”

“I should have known.”

“You could not have known what he refused to tell you.”

I looked at her. “What am I going to do now?”

Nora leaned back and studied me carefully. “You are going to live.”

I almost laughed. “That sounds simple.”

“It is not simple. It is just necessary.”

I looked down, thinking about how for six years I had planned my entire life around Victor, our wedding, our home, our children, even the city where we would eventually settle down. I had forgotten that I once had dreams that did not include him at all.

Nora seemed to read my thoughts. “You still have your job,” she said, and I nodded. “I know.”

“You still have your talent.”

I looked at her again, and she added softly, “And you still have yourself.”

I looked away. “I do not know who that is anymore.”

Nora reached across the table and held my hand. “Then find her.”

I did not answer. That night, I slept on Nora’s couch, or at least I tried to. My mind kept returning to the same images over and over, Victor holding the ring, Victor looking at Sophia, Victor saying he was going to marry her instead of me. At three in the morning, I finally got up and walked into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were swollen, my face looked exhausted, and I barely recognized the woman staring back at me.

Then I noticed something on my finger. My engagement ring was still there, the one Victor had given me two years earlier, the one he had told me to wear until the day he replaced it with something better. I slowly pulled it off and stared at the empty space it left behind, then placed it inside my bag. I did not throw it away, because I was not ready for that yet, but I knew I would never wear it again.

The next morning, I woke up before Nora and sat at the small kitchen table with my laptop open in front of me. For the first time in years, I looked back at my old career plans. There had been a position I wanted badly before I met Victor, an opportunity from another company that I had turned down because Victor was starting his own business and needed my support. I had told myself back then that his dream was our dream, but now I wondered what my life would have looked like if I had chosen myself instead.

My phone suddenly vibrated. A message had arrived from an unknown number, and when I opened it, there was only one sentence waiting for me. You should have left Victor long before last night. I stared at the screen as my heart began to beat faster, reading the message again before another one appeared beneath it. And if you want to know why he really chose Sophia, meet me tomorrow at seven.

I stared at the words, unable to breathe. For the first time since I had left Victor, my heartbreak was replaced by something else entirely, a sharp and sudden fear. Someone out there knew a secret I did not know, and somehow, that secret was connected to me.