Chapter 2 - Deanna

What have I done?

For the entire plane ride home, that one question kept bouncing around in my head.  I still can’t believe what has happened. 

Bits and pieces from last night slowly keep coming back, and I’ve spent the entire plane ride trying to put them back in the right order.  I still have missing chunks of time, but the complete picture is becoming clearer.  However, I can’t believe that I did half of the things that I did. 

After looking through my phone, I’m not sure if I should be proud of some things or ashamed.  I know one thing, though, that I want to forget it completely. 

I pat the side of my purse. 

A slight frown forms on my lips as I feel the circular object inside the pocket. 

What am I going to do with it?  I can’t keep it.  How would I explain an extra wedding ring in my jewelry box? 

I know my friends have a lot of questions, but as soon as I told them I have a killer hangover, they have agreed to leave me alone.  I wish I could have gotten some sleep on the plane.  However, my mind is racing, and sleep doesn’t appear to be something that I have the privilege of having at that moment. 

I set my purse back down on the nearby table.

A small sigh rolls out of my mouth. 

I tilt my head and look out the window of my waiting room at the church. 

The lovely flowers and ornamental shrubs are usually something I love about this place, along with the various statues.  However, I don’t find any comfort in them today.  Instead, I could almost swear that some statues are staring at me with a judgmental eye. 

I wouldn’t blame them, though. 

Is it wrong to do a confession on your wedding day?  Will that look bad?

I glance back up the sidewalk and sigh. 

My parents are off talking to people.  I don’t have to ask, but I will.  Can they, for once, not put business before me?  I would love for my parents to be like other parents and stay with me before the wedding.  However, here I am sitting alone in a quiet room, trying to figure out how I have messed up so badly. 

I should be excited, but knowing what I did last night keeps me from being truly happy today.  However, I will have to look happy soon.  Everyone is expecting it. 

Deep down, though, a part of me is still excited about finally marrying Brett.  However, another part of me is so ashamed of last night, along with an overpowering fear that my secret will somehow come out. 

Luckily, I will never see that man again.  So, as long as my friends say nothing I should be fine.  Right.

Knock.  Knock. 

I snap back to reality and stand up while smoothing out the front of my wedding dress.  “Come in.”

As soon as the door opens up, I plaster on a smile. 

Tiffany pops her head in.  “It is time.  We need to go get into place.” 

I silently nod and continue smiling. 

She stands and looks at me for a moment before she smiles back.  “Deanna, you are so pretty.  You look amazing.  Brett will fall in love with you all over again as soon as he sees you.”

My smile widens.  “I hope so.  We better go.”

As we approach our places, I glance around.  Silently, I sigh.  My parents truly think about work first all the time. 

With an emptiness in my heart, my eyes drop to the floor.  Why can’t they think about me first on a big day like this?  After all, this is my big day, not theirs.

After a few seconds, I take a deep breath and put my smile back on.  I will not let my parents ruin my big day.  Even if I have to go down the aisle alone, I will hold my head up high and do it with confidence and pride.  I’ll keep my aching heart to myself. 

Tiffany walks up next to me and nudges my arm.  “Not long now and you will be Mrs. Brett Williams.  I have gotten the perfect toast prepared for the reception.  Oh, don’t forget to throw the bouquet at me.  Okay.”

I giggle and shake my head.  “I will not throw you the bouquet.  You can stand alongside all the other eligible women and fight for it just like everyone else.”

She pouts and nudges my arm again.  “I need all the luck I can get to find someone like Brett.  Just help me get it this time.  Please.”

Once again, I shake my head.  I open my mouth to protest when the organ plays and the doors open.  I push her back in front of me as the first bride’s maid walks through the door. 

I watch silently as everyone disappears through the doorway one by one. 

As the wedding march begins to play and the guests stand up, I push back the tears, trying to bubble out. 

I’m still alone. 

My grip tightens on my bouquet, and I take a deep breath. 

My eyes trail down the aisle to the tall, handsome man in a gray tuxedo.  His glossy jet-black hair styled to perfection, while his warm smile soothes my nerves and invites me to come to him. 

My worries instantly melt away, and a true smile blooms on my face.  I don’t realize or even care that I’m alone with my first few steps into the sea of people.  Brett’s smile is all the encouragement that I need to handle this on my own. 

I keep my focus on my future husband and don’t acknowledge my father when he finally appears at my side and puts my hand around his arm. 

Even when we finally reach our destination, my father steps back and lets Brett take my hand.  The entire time, I keep my focus on the groom.  Never once looking at my father.  However, before we step up to the alter, Brett points to his best man and chimes, “Honey, this is my younger brother, Connor.” 

I glance over to where he is pointing. 

My eyes widen and my breath hitches.  This can’t be possible.  No.

The same man that I left in the hotel room this morning is staring back at me. 

With each passing second, a small spark grows in his eyes. 

Brett looks at his brother and then back at me.  In a soft whisper, he asks, “Do you two know each other?”

Before he has a chance to even finish, I shake my head.  However, instead of looking at Brett, I have my eyes glued on Connor, trying to silently plea with everything I have for him to say no. 

As I open my mouth to reply, a lump suddenly forms in my throat when the corner of Connor’s lips curl into a smirk. 

No.  This can’t be happening. 

He looks at Brett and replies, “Yes.”

Brett glances back and forth between the two of us and, after a few moments, he finally asks, “How?”

My heart hammers hard against my chest, while I want to scream, “No!”  But my silent pleas, once again, go unanswered, as a triumphant smile slides across Connor’s face and he proudly answers, “She is my wife.  Remember, I told you about the amazing girl I married in Vegas last night and had amazing sex with.  She is the girl.”

Time seems to stand still as Brett looks at me and then back at his brother.  With each passing moment, his growing anger rolls off him in thunderous waves and pounds against me, while Connor seems to be unaffected. 

Heat begins to radiate off Brett’s arm. 

Reluctantly, I let go of him and softly plea, “Brett.  It is all a misunderstanding.  I can explain.”  

Brett turns and glares at me.  The once loving and warm look he had only moments ago is now replaced with anger and hatred. 

I take a small step back. 

I want desperately to stop my world from crumbling down around me, but I can’t say or do anything except watch it all fall apart.

Brett grits his teeth and whips around towards Connor.  I stand frozen, watching like a statue, as Brett pulls his fist back and punches Connor hard in the jaw.  Connor stumbles backward and nearly falls down, while Brett whips back around to the many rows of guests.  With anger and disgust woven through his words, he announces, “Sorry, everyone.  The wedding is off.”

Without looking back at me or even allowing me to say anything else, he marches up the aisle and out of the church. 

No.  I need to stop this, but I can’t move.  I’m frozen to my spot as my heart shatters into a million pieces.

While I try to grapple with what has just happened, my father stands up and points his finger at me.  His own disdain for me oozes off him as his eyes nearly burn holes through me.  “I didn’t raise a daughter to behave like that.  You are a disgrace to me and your mother, not to mention to the rest of the family.  If you want to live in such a manner, you can do it on your own.  You are no longer my daughter, and I want you to get your things out of our house.  If your things aren’t gone in 24 hours, I will throw them all away.”

No.  No.  No.   

I want to explain, but the look in his and my mother’s eyes tells me they wouldn’t listen to me, anyway.  I have tarnished their appearance and reputation. 

My heart aches and my world, once again, comes crashing down around me. 

My hands drop to my sides as my grip slowly loosens around my bouquet and it too falls to the floor, along with all my hopes and dreams for my future.  I’m truly alone now. 

As tears well up in my eyes, I glance around the church.  I’m met with the same look of disgust as my parents, in addition, anger and even hatred. 

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m running up the aisle and out of the church. 

I don’t know where I’m going, but anywhere is better than here.