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Chapter 34

Author: Sydney
last update Last Updated: 2025-06-25 05:25:06

Selena’s POV

I felt heavy.

It wasn’t the kind of heaviness that went away with time. No. This one had roots. Deep ones. Tangled through muscle and memory. And it sat there… quiet. Waiting.

I had dreamt of Cassian

Rhe way his lashes rested on his cheekbones

I hated that it almost looked gentle. That he almost looked… kind.

Almost.

But I knew better now.

I knew what blood ran in his veins.

My stomach twisted.

Zevran’s face had haunted me for months

etched into the walls of every bad memory I owned. But now… now I saw him again every time I looked at Cassian.

Not exactly.

Not quite.

But enough.

The sharp cut of their jaws. The set of their brows. The way their eyes flared when they were angry or amused. I used to think it was coincidence. The resemblance. The echo.

It wasn’t.

Stormblood.

That was what the photo said.

Cassian and Zevran. The Storm brothers.

I could still feel the weight of that photo in my hand. Still see the jagged handwriting on the back in dark black ink, faded from time and sun and dust. And betrayal.

He never told me.

Not once.

And now I was here… waking up in the same bed as him. Sharing meals. Laughing with his daughter. Making flower crowns like we were a real family. Like he wasn’t connected to the man who broke me.

I turned my face into the pillow and let out a quiet breath. My eyes were dry, but only because I had cried myself empty last night.

It wasn’t fair.

The gods didn’t give me a second chance. They gave me a storm with the same face.

And somehow, I was supposed to smile through it.

I slipped out of bed quietly and padded to the bathroom, closing the door behind me before the tears threatened to come back.

The ghost feeling i had, I carried it down to breakfast

Sisi was her usual bubbly self

I couldn’t blame her, especially when she was recounting every flower she planned to pick for her next “Mommy and Daddy adventure.”

“And I saw a butterfly! A pink one!” she said between bites. “And I think it was magical. It flew in a loop before it left!”

I smiled at her. A weak one. “That sounds beautiful, sweetheart.”

She beamed.

Cassian sat across from me. He hadn’t said much since I walked in. He looked… concerned. Maybe a little confused. But not angry.

That made it worse.

Because he didn’t deserve my silence.

Not really.

But he didn’t deserve my words either.

Not yet.

“Want to do puzzles later?” Sisi asked, tugging my sleeve.

I shook my head gently. “Maybe another time, baby. I have some things to look into.”

Cassian spoke then, finally. “If it’s too much, I can take her out to the stables after breakfast.”

I nodded without meeting his eyes. “Thank you.”

He hesitated—like he wanted to say more.

But he didn’t.

And I was grateful.

Because I didn’t trust my voice to stay steady if he asked.

I sat alone in the garden a little later. The sun was warm. The breeze carried the scent of honeysuckle and lavender. And yet, none of it touched me.

My body was here. My mind was curled into a corner of the palace library, still staring at that photograph.

Cassian and Zevran.

Brothers.

The same blood. The same storm-born lineage.

Had he known what Zevran did to me?

Did he know I was the one left broken, bloodied, exiled?

Was that the reason he didn’t tell me?

Or was this all some twisted fate—meant to humiliate me further?

I tried to hate him for it.

I really did.

But then I thought of his hands on mine when my towel slipped the night before. How fast he’d turned away. How careful, how reverent, how afraid to cross a line.

I thought of how gently he held Sisi’s face when she asked for flower crowns. How he knelt to tie her shoes, how he carried her when she was too sleepy to walk.

That wasn’t Zevran.

That wasn’t the monster who sold me out.

That wasn’t the man who shattered me and left.

So who was Cassian?

And why did he still make my chest ache in ways I didn’t have words for?

In the quiet of my room, I opened my phone. Scrolled past unread messages from Eleanor.

My fingers hovered above the screen.

Still here. Everything’s on track.

I stared at the words for a long time.

Then deleted them.

Typed again.

Don’t worry. I’ll send the money tomorrow.

Then I hit send.

Because I couldn’t leave. Not yet.

Not while Eleanor’s school needed to be paid for.

Not while my aunt’s hospital bills waited on the next transfer.

Not while Sisi still looked at me like I was her world.

If I left now, I’d lose everything. And worse—so would they.

I leaned against the wall and whispered into the silence, “I can’t afford to fall apart.”

Not now.

Not yet.

That night, I passed Cassian in the hallway.

We both paused.

He looked tired. More tired than I’d ever seen him.

“Selena,” he said softly.

I stopped. But I didn’t turn around.

“Did I… did I do something?” he asked. “Something wrong?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced my voice into something steady. “No.”

He stepped closer. “Then what is it?”

I still didn’t turn.

He hesitated again. Then—quietly—“Is it me?”

I finally looked back.

And I wished I hadn’t.

Because his eyes were so open. So raw.

Not guarded. Not masked.

Just a man trying to understand why the woman he’d finally started opening up to was suddenly slipping through his fingers.

But I couldn’t answer.

Not truthfully.

Not yet.

So I gave him nothing.

Just silence.

I saw the moment it hit him—the way his shoulders dropped, the way he nodded like he’d just been handed a sentence.

“If you ever need space,” he said, stepping back, “I’ll give it.”

I didn’t reply.

I couldn’t.

Because my words were traitors.

And if I spoke, they’d tell him everything.

That I was scared.

That I was hurt.

That I wanted to stay… but didn’t know how to survive if I did.

So I walked away.

And this time, I didn’t look back.

***

It was morning, but the light felt wrong.

Grayish. Dull. Like it had been filtered through smoke and regret.

I hated how much of a poet I sounded like

How overly dramatic I probably sounded.

I blinked at the ceiling, not really seeing it. My body ached with a stiffness I couldn’t explain

Maybe from the way I’d slept upright i the study last night

or maybe from the weight sitting on my chest.

The memory hit before I could stop it.

That picture.

That face.

Zevran.

Cassian.

The same jaw. The same storm-dark hair.

The same blood.

Stormblood.

I rolled onto my side, careful not to make noise. My eyes went to the bed, where Cassian still lay asleep—arm draped carelessly over the blanket, his brow relaxed for once. Peaceful.

And so painfully familiar.

How had I never noticed it before?

He shifted slightly in his sleep, lips parting like he was about to murmur something. Something soft. Something human.

But all I could hear was Zevran’s voice.

That cold whisper.

Those broken promises.

I sat up slowly, pressing my fingers to my temples.

“The gods didn’t send me a second chance,” I murmured bitterly.

“They sent me a storm with the same face.”

The kitchen smelled like honey and flour.

Sisi was humming to herself at the counter, trying to mash bananas into a bowl far too big for her arms. Her tongue stuck out in concentration, and her curls bounced with every movement.

Cassian was beside her, sleeves rolled up, eyes warm.

And me?

I stood by the window, cradling a cup of tea I hadn’t tasted.

“Mommy, come help!” Sisi called out, waving her spoon. “We’re making banana muffins and Daddy said I can lick the batter!”

My stomach turned. Not at the batter. At how easily this scene could belong to someone else.

To another life.

I offered a smile. “That sounds fun, baby. I’ll join you in a bit.”

Her face fell just slightly. “But you said we’d all do it together…”

Cassian glanced up. Just once. Just enough.

I swallowed. “I just need a minute, sweetheart.”

Sisi didn’t argue. She just turned back to her bowl with a small sigh.

I hated that I had made sisi catch o with my bad mood

Even before today, she seemed guarded and avoidant all through yesterday.

And Cassian didn’t push.

Again.

And somehow, that made it worse.

I managed to bath and drag myself to the garden.

It was woth little hopes of finding sisi by herself s I can apologize.

.

The sun was warmer now, flowers stretching lazily toward the light.

But I was cold.

Wrapped in a shawl I didn’t need, pacing the cobblestone like I could outwalk the ache in my chest.

But no matter how hard I tried I distract myself, I kept seeing it—

That photo.

The two of them side by side.

The handwritten scrawl on the back: Cassian and Zevran. Storm Brothers.

Did he know?

Did he remember me?

Did he know what Zevran did to me?

And if he did… was this all some twisted joke?

A long revenge?

I covered my face with both hands.

“Stop,” I whispered. “Stop thinking.”

But the thoughts didn’t stop. They clawed. They burned.

I sank onto the stone bench, burying my face into my hands.

And finally, I cried.

Not like the silent tears of my old life.

Not like the polite sniffles I’d trained myself to release.

This time… it broke me.

Sobs shook through me—raw, trembling, ugly.

Like all the pain I’d buried finally demanded a voice.

And still… I didn’t scream.

Because screaming wouldn’t help.

And I couldn’t afford to fall apart.

Not when my aunt’s hospital bills still sat unpaid.

Not when Eleanor’s admission to Silvercreek War College depended on my next paycheck.

Not when Sisi had just started smiling again.

My phone buzzed in my skirt pocket.

Eleanor:

I miss you. Is everything alright?

I stared at the message.

Typed: Still here. Everything on track.

Deleted it.

Typed again: Yes. I’ll handle it. Don’t worry.

Pressed send.

Then whispered, “I can’t leave. I can’t.”

Even if I wanted to.

Even if I had every reason to.

Even if every breath beside Cassian made my heart curl into itself.

I couldn’t run.

Not again.

~~

I didn’t realize how onG I had sat there, but when I did finally decide to start up tye sky had already darkened

And all the lamps inside the house were all on.

They were already sitted for diner and I had no other option other than to join them

. Sisi insisted on sitting between us and telling the story of her dream where she turned into a purple dragon and made Daddy fly on her back.

Cassian chuckled, indulging every word.

I forced smiles.

Because faking them was safer than unraveling.

After we cleared the plates, I carried Sisi upstairs.

Her tiny hand tugged mine as we neared her room.

“I’m sleepy,” she murmured. “But I wanna sleep in my room tonight.”

I knew her plan

And I knew i couldn’t spend the night I the general study again else the maids would catch on

I remembered waking up to see Cassian sleeping right in front of the door

He had been waiting for me

I didn’t let my mind dwell on that, so I returned my focus to the rounded eyed wolf cub thst was standing right in front of me

. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

She shook her head. “You can tuck me in. But I wanna be a big girl tonight.”

I smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead. “Of course, sweetheart.”

After she’d drifted off, I stepped into our shared room.

Cassian was already there. Shirt half-unbuttoned. Brows furrowed.

I crossed to the far side of the bed and grabbed a pillow.

His voice came, low and tired.

“What are you doing?”

I didn’t answer.

Not yet.

And he didn’t ask again.

But I could feel his eyes on me as I set the pillow on the couch and lay down facing the wall.

And I could feel the silence tighten between us like a second skin.

A weight neither of us knew how to lift.

Tomorrow, I would survive again.

For Sisi.

For Eleanor.

For my aunt.

But tonight…

Tonight I would close my eyes and dream of a world where men didn’t have storm-colored eyes and matching scars.

Where blood wasn’t thicker than betrayal.

Where love didn’t wear a brother’s face.

And maybe—just maybe—tomorrow would hurt less.

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