Chapter 52

Cassian’s POV

“I trust you.”

The words left my mouth before I could think. Before I could weigh them, fold them into something guarded or vague. But I didn’t take them back.

Because I meant them.

I wasn’t lying. I trusted her—with Sisi. Maybe more than I trusted myself.

That was the terrifying part.

I wasn’t used to trust. Not like this. Not the quiet kind that crept in unnoticed and settled in your chest like a fire you couldn’t put out.

Not the kind that whispered she’ll take care of what you love most, and somehow, impossibly, I believed it.

Selena hadn’t moved when I said it.

she blinked but it wasn’t out of shock.

It was not relief.

No, it was subtler than that.

Maybe even Deeper.

Like those three words….I trust you—had landed in a place she hadn’t built walls around yet. A place so raw and unguarded it startled even her.

And then, just like that, she looked away.

Not out of disrespect. Not to ignore me.

She turned back to Sisi with the same fluid grace she always carried

I loved how she carried herself in situations like this

Like she was unshaken on the outside

She appeared calm.

But I saw the tightness in her shoulders as she leaned forward.

I saw the tremor in her fingers before she steadied them again.

And gods, I felt the ache that settled in my chest because I knew, deep down….that I had barely scratched the surface of the fortress she lived behind.

Still, she didn’t speak.

She didn’t nod or acknowledge my words.

She just reached for the bowl of crushed herbs, her hands moving quickly, efficiently, like she’d done this a thousand times before. Like she was born for this exact moment.

I didn’t know where she’d learned that. I hadn’t asked. I should have.

Because she wasn’t a healer. Not by title. Not by training. She didn’t come from some long line of herbalists blessed by the Moon.

She was a survivor.

She was a woman carved from loss and disappointment.

And yet, in that moment, Selena worked like someone who’d studied life and death with her bare hands.

She moved with a healer’s steadiness. A mother’s urgency. A warrior’s clarity.

She crushed and mixed the paste

And the way she managed to maintain a certain rhythm marveled me.

And somehow she didn’t spill a drop.

She whispered something I couldn’t hear, maybe to Sisi, maybe to herself, and dipped a cloth in warm water before dabbing at Sisi’s forehead again. Her motions were deliberate. Ritualistic, even.

And all I could do was watch.

Watch her turn my chaos into calm.

Watch her gather pieces of control where I had only panic.

Watch her, a woman I’d once seen as nothing more than a nuisance… become everything I didn’t realize I needed.

She hovered over my daughter like a shield. A guardian.

Her knees were planted into the mattress

And her eyes? They were laser focused.

She brushed sisi’s curls off her forehead with the tenderness of someone who has known her for a lifetime.

Her brow was furrowed with effort. Her hands didn’t shake. Her voice didn’t falter when she called for the paste to be warmed again.

But I knew better.

I saw the tension in her back. The way she held her breath before each motion.

The way she blinked

It was slow , deliberate…..like she was swallowing something deep and dangerous that threatened to spill out.

She was holding herself together by the edges. Barely.

And I felt…

Useless.

More useless than I had in a long, long time.

I was the Alpha. The strongest in this room. In this palace. In this pack.

There wasn’t a soul alive who dared look me in the eye and question my strength.

But right now?

I wasn’t strong.

I wasn’t necessary.

I wasn’t even helpful.

I was standing in the corner of my own daughter’s room, useless as a ghost, while the woman I’d kissed like a starving man not thirty minutes ago fought to save what mattered most to me.

And that was what wrecked me.

Not just the helplessness clawing at my spine like a rabid beast.

Not just the frustration of not being able to lift this pain off my daughter’s tiny body.

No.

It was the memory.

That kiss.

Gods, that kiss.

I could still feel her lips on mine

. I could still hear the gasp she gave when I pushed her back against the dresser.

Still feel her thighs tighten around my waist. Her fingers threading into my hair, tugging, trembling, surrendering.

She let me take.

She gave herself freely for those few stolen minutes

It was like she wanted to be wanted. Like she’d been starving for touch and I had finally offered her something real.

And I would’ve taken more. I would’ve kept going. Stripped her slowly. Kissed her down to her very soul.

She would’ve let me.

And that was what haunted me now.

Because I didn’t deserve her trust.

I didn’t deserve the way her body molded into mine like it belonged there.

I didn’t deserve the way she kissed me like she was letting go of every wall, every hesitation, every survival instinct she’d built over the years.

I didn’t deserve how, after all that, she still came in here, dropped to her knees beside my daughter, and worked like her own life depended on it.

She should hate me.

She should have walked away.

But instead, she was here. Healing Sisi.

Carrying the weight I should’ve been strong enough to bear myself.

And gods help me—

I had never wanted someone more.

Not because she kissed like sin and salvation.

Not because her robe still clung to her hips like a second skin.

Not even because I hadn’t stopped thinking about how her hands had fumbled with my shirt buttons in breathless desperation.

I wanted her because she stayed.

Because when everything was falling apart, she knelt down and put it back together.

Because she was more than a woman.

She was a force.

And I didn’t know how to stop falling for her.

Not anymore.

I stood at the door frame, the entire memory flashing before my eyes

.

Even now, the echo of her lips was still warm on mine.

I remembered it clearly… when I had asked her, “Do you regret it?”

She hadn’t answered.

And I hadn’t waited.

I’d kissed her like I was drowning. Like she was the only thing that could bring me back to the surface. And gods help me

she kissed me back like she wanted to save me.

Her fingers had clawed into my hair, tugging me closer with a desperation that mirrored my own.

I could still feel the way she melted into me, the heat of her skin, the tiny sound she made when I lifted her onto the dresser like I needed to worship her from the inside out.

She wanted me.

She let herself want me.

And then—

“Miss Selena!”

That voice. That damn voice.

The door bursting open. The panic. The urgency.

The spell snapped in half.

And everything came crashing down.

Now here we were. Her back to me, her knees pressed into the mattress as she leaned over Sisi, applying the paste she had mixed with ingredients I hadn’t even known we had in the house.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

I had never wanted a woman the way I wanted her.

But it wasn’t just need.

It wasn’t lust alone, though that part of me was loud and feral whenever she was near.

No, it was something heavier. Rougher. Realer. Something that sank its teeth into the most guarded part of me and refused to let go.

It was awe.

It was the brutal, unfamiliar feeling of knowing

Knowing that this woman could ruin me.

In every way.

And gods, she already was.

Because she wasn’t just beautiful. Selena was good.

Fiercely, stubbornly good.

The kind of good that didn’t come from naivety or privilege or being untouched by the world.

No. Hers was a hard-earned goodness.

One she had wrestled into existence

In the way she looked at Sisi like the little girl was a miracle, not a burden.

And that terrified me.

Because I didn’t deserve good.

I didn’t deserve her.

Not after everything I’d done. Not after the way I’d treated her when we first met

I wascold, calculated, cruel. Like she was a means to an end. A pretty face I could pay to fix a mess I wasn’t brave enough to clean up on my own.

I’d offered her a job out of spite.

Used her skills while sneering at her circumstances.

Needed her…but refused to admit it.

Hell, I’d let her believe she was temporary. Replaceable. Just another contract in a long list of failed Luna candidates.

And yet…

She hadn’t run.

She hadn’t lashed out or reminded me of my hypocrisy.

She hadn’t even pulled away when I kissed her like a man unraveling

when I kissed her like I’d been starving for her.

Instead, she kissed me back.

But I was sure she had lots of questions

Questions I might never get to hear

And now, she stood here

She was kneeling beside my convulsing daughter, sleeves rolled up, eyes focused, heart wide open

She was acting like none of that mess between us existed. Like saving Sisi was all that mattered.

Like she was the only one who could do it.

And damn me, she was right.

Selena hadn’t hesitated. She hadn’t frozen or crumbled. She stepped in.

Took control.

Saved Sisi like it was second nature.

Like my daughter was hers, too.

My throat burned as I watched her, and for the first time in years, I felt something I couldn’t name.

Gratitude.

Fear.

Longing.

Love?

No. Not yet. Not out loud. Not even in my own damn head.

But it was close.

“I need to apply this paste directly,” she asked again, firmer this time, her eyes flicking up to mine. “It won’t hurt her, but I need your permission.”

There it was.

The line.

The moment.

And my choice

I had told her before

Maybe she didn’t think I would easily agree this time.

It should’ve been hard, right? Trusting someone else with your child. Trusting anyone after the life I’d lived. After the betrayals, the losses, the masks I’d worn for years.

But it wasn’t.

The words came before I even thought about them.

“I have told you, Selena. You wouldn’t do anything to hurt her,” I said, voice low but steady. “I trust you.”

It hit the air like a thunderclap.

A confession.

A vow.

Maybe even a surrender.

And I meant it. Gods help me, I meant every damn word.

She didn’t smile.

She didn’t blink.

She just… nodded. Once. Quietly.

And then went back to saving my daughter.

As if I hadn’t just laid a piece of my soul at her feet.

And me?

I couldn’t breathe.

. Her calmness only made the storm inside me worse.

I had to get out.

Not far. Not for long. Just out. Just away.

To be able to gather my thoughts.

Just enough distance to clear my head before I did something even more reckless

Something like drop to my knees beside her and beg her to stay.

To never leave.

I slipped out into the hall like a coward. Pressed a hand to the wall. Dragged in a breath that burned going down.

She deserved more than a man like me.

But gods, I still wanted her.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

Conrad.

I pulled it out, answered with a swipe, and leaned harder against the wall.

“I heard what happened,” he said, skipping any greeting. “Do you need backup? Should I get the pack doctor?”

I swallowed. My voice came out low, rough. “No. Selena’s handling it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“You’re… letting her take the lead?”

“She’s doing better than any damn healer we’ve ever called.”

Another pause. Then—Conrad, with a smirk in his voice. “Well, look who’s finally trusting the little miss.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue.

“She deserves it.”

Simple. Final.

Conrad was quiet for a beat. Then his voice softened.

“Cass.”

“What?”

“You gonna tell her?”

My heart stalled.

“Tell her what?”

I knew what he meant. I didn’t want to acknowledge it. But the silence on the line grew heavy.

“Tell her what?” I asked, even though we both knew.

“That you’re in love with her.”

I shut my eyes. My chest throbbed.

Because the truth was—I was.

Even if I hadn’t wanted it. Even if it terrified me.

Even if I didn’t know how to give her the kind of love she deserved.

“I won’t lose her,” I said, voice rough.

“Then prove it.”

I turned my head toward the door again, where the soft murmur of Selena’s voice drifted out from Sisi’s room.

“I will,” I whispered. “Conrad…”

“Yeah?”

“Draft a letter to the council elders. Tell them I’ve picked a date.”

“For what?”

“For the mating ceremony.”