Chapter 4

My fingertips hovered over the writing feeling the indentation on the page. I opened the next page and found pictures from when I was a baby, and with each page turned, I grew older. The photos stopped halfway through the album; the photos stopped when I was thirteen. They stopped the day I lost my parents. How much I wished they could see me now and how much my mother would complement my dress and how I looked. I wondered what they would say about my job, my love life and the messes I have made. I missed them more in moments like this than any other moment in life. All the what ifs, maybes and what could have been. I shed a few tears and let my fingers brush over each photo recalling the moments in memory. There came a gentle knock at the door, it was Claire. I looked up with blurry, tearful eyes. She approached and sat on the bed in front of me. She reached out and held my hand.

“They would be so proud of you, Leila.”

I smiled through the tears.

“I wish it was your mother here choosing your dress with you, I wish it was her encouraging you to push your boundaries and join me to the ball and more than anything I wish it was her guiding your shining light. I’m sorry I have been so self-absorbed in this and not thought about the way this may impact on you.”

I reached up and wiped the tears from my face, “Claire, you have been my rock for many years now. I miss them like there is no tomorrow, but I also know that I would not be where I am today if it was not for you and your family.”

She hugged me tightly. “Get some rest, tomorrow is hair and makeup trials.” she laughed as she exited my room.

I reached for a cushion and threw it at her as she left. I laughed out loud. I packed away the box and got ready for bed. I curled up tight holding myself until I fell asleep. My dreams were filled with memories both good and bad.

The following day wasn’t as bad as I had thought. Claire had made a full girls day around it. Movies, popcorn, hair, makeup, music, dancing. I enjoyed the day more than I thought I would but then again, any day where it is just me and Claire being roommates and best friends is always a good day.

The week flew by, each day seemed to get faster as the week went on. I was more nervous than excited about the ball, but it did not occur to me until Friday night how we were going to get there? I didn’t want to try and drive in my dress, and it was certain Claire could not drive in hers. I waited until after dinner to question Claire about our mode of transport.

“Claire,” I called from the sink as I was washing the pots.

“Yes.”

“How are we getting there tomorrow?”

“Um, don’t worry about it, I have it all sorted.”

“Claire?” My voice was stern.

“It’s all in control I promise.”

“How are we getting there?”

“Okay, fine. Please do not freak out on me.” She slid from the sofa and stood up.

I walked cautiously over from the kitchen area. “Claire, how are we getting there?”

“Well, I wasn’t the only one the invitation was extended to. It just made sense that if we were all going, to go together in one vehicle.”

“You DID NOT!” I exclaimed as the realisation hit me.

Claire backed away cautiously.

“Claire, please tell me Dan is not driving us?” my voice cracked saying his name.

“I’m sorry it just made sense at the time,”

“You phone him and tell him we will find our own way there!” I shouted.

“It’s too late to book a taxi or find another way there. I’m sorry I didn’t think.”

“You know what he did to me, you know what happened and yet you forget and put us in the same room, NO the same car together!” I snapped.

"Leila, it was six months or more ago are you sure you can’t forgive him?”

“NO! Absolutely not. I know he’s your brother but NO!” I stormed out to my room.

I spent the night hiding in my room trying to calm down and find a way to get out of going to the ball, but I knew I could not do that to Claire. I am too much of a loyal person to leave a friend hanging.

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