Chapter 11

Mia

Aléjandro and Rei went downstairs to talk business, leaving me alone in our bedroom. Wrapping my arms around my midsection, I spun a slow circle, thankful we had some furniture. The furnishings weren’t bad, a bed, dressers, and bedside stands. The sitting area was empty. For a moment, I imagined what could fill the void while trying to get excited about buying whatever I wanted. 

I didn’t want to hate my life.

There were moments I forgot that I hated it.

I walked toward the closets I’d only peeked in before. Looking at the stacked boxes containing everything I called mine from Missouri, I remembered again: this wasn’t the life I wanted. I recalled that I’d been uprooted and discarded by the famiglia. At least that was the way it felt. As bad as my first marriage had been, I was surrounded by family and friends.

Dario and Catalina were on their way back to Kansas City and so were Giorgia and Dante. Mom was on her way to her big house in the Ozarks. Other women from the famiglia would be gathering for wine and movies as their husbands worked the streets and clubs.

The life I’d known was gone.

Now that my wedding was over and my marriage was official, the people who used to be special to me could move on. After all, I was now cartel, and I knew how they felt about Catalina. She had the one advantage of being married to the capo. I’d been shipped away.

Maybe it was time for me to move on.

Sliding down the doorjamb, I sat on the soft carpet, pulled my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around my legs. The mountain of boxes embodied nearly thirty years of life, a sad representation of how little I’d accomplished.

They were filled with things.

Objects.

Clothes.

Jewelry.

All replaceable.

My friends and family were across the country.

I didn’t have an education or children.

All I had was a new husband.

As my temples began to pound, my gaze went over to the large bed. Tonight, my husband would expect to sleep together—would he expect more?

My stomach twisted.

I had to trust him to keep his word about sex because as sad as it was, Aléjandro’s word was the one hope I was pinning my future on. A man I didn’t even like before yesterday. I wasn’t sure I liked him now. Given my vast choices of people in my current life—I could acquiesce to liking him.

Laying my forehead on my knees, my eyes burned with the return of tears. This time I didn’t try to stop them. I wasn’t sharing my grief. It was all mine, and if I had to bear it, I needed to let a little out when I could.

I wasn’t certain how long I sat crying before I forced myself to stop. It was more that the tears were no longer flowing, and my head was aching.

No one could understand my sadness from the outside. My life appeared better than it had in years past. While Rocco raped me on our wedding night and sex was always at his demand, his routine abuse took years to surface. One successful night with Aléjandro didn’t exactly mean I was out of the woods. I knew from experience that dispositions can easily change.

How long will he put up with my refusal of sex?

Splashing my face with cool water in the bathroom, I stared into my reflection. Self-pity wasn’t the answer. I needed to stay busy. Opening a cabinet to the bare interior, I decided I’d start my unpacking in the bathroom. After all, I’d need my cosmetics. They were all in the suitcase we brought from the Ruiz home. Walking back into the bedroom, I realized we hadn’t gotten our bags out of Aléjandro’s Porsche.

As I neared the front staircase, I heard the raised voices from down below.

There seemed to be more than two voices. Quietly, I made my way down the staircase. In the foyer, I turned to the left, and with each step the voices grew louder. Stopping a few feet from the door to the room Aléjandro claimed as his office, I pressed myself against the wall and listened.

They said immersion was a good way to learn another language. If I wanted to learn what was happening, I’d need to pick up on the Spanish language sooner rather than later. My eavesdropping wasn’t doing me any good.

Steeling my shoulders, I made my way to the doorway. Aléjandro, Rei, Emiliano, and another man were all standing and speaking fast to one another. Of course, they were standing, their only other choice would be to sit on the floor. I made a mental note to furnish Aléjandro’s office soon.

I waited, but their conversation was obviously intense enough that no one paid any attention to my intrusion. “Hi,” I said, knocking on the doorjamb.

All four men turned my direction.

If this wasn’t my house and my husband wasn’t one of the dark sets of eyes, I might be frightened. It appeared my famiglia didn’t dominate the market on intimidating-looking men.

“Mia,” Aléjandro said, stepping away from the others as his expression softened. “Lo siento—I’m sorry if we were loud.”

“Loud is fine. I’m sure whatever you’re discussing is important.” I feigned a smile and spoke to the one man I didn’t know. He seemed familiar. I assumed he was at the wedding. “I’m sorry” —I offered my hand— “I don’t recall your name.”

The man took a step forward. He was a bit shorter than my husband and Rei, but taller than Emiliano. And while I got the feeling, he was trying to be polite, I also sensed that he wasn’t happy about the interruption. “Mi nombre es Nick, Señora Roríguez.”

“Nick, nice to formally meet you. Mia, please.” I turned to Aléjandro. “I came down to get the suitcase from the car.” I tilted my head. “Do you have the keys?”

Aléjandro sent a look to Rei that meant more than I could glean. “I’m going to help her. You three work this out by the time I’m back.”

Rei answered affirmatively aloud while Emiliano and Nick merely nodded.

My husband laid his hand in the small of my back and walked me away from the office. “I moved the car into the garage. I should have remembered our bags.”

“It seems you’re busy.”

Aléjandro scoffed. “It’s bullshit you don’t need to worry about.”

We were now in the kitchen near the door that led to the garages. Coming to a stop, I looked up at him and lowered my voice in case anyone else could hear us. “I’ve spent my entire life around angry men. I’m used to being in the dark. I’ve had the ‘you don’t need to worry about it’ lecture more times than I can count. I won’t ask you for details. I only ask that if it involves my safety, my family’s, or yours, you’ll warn me.”

Aléjandro took my hand in his. “It’s not really about the famiglia.”

“Not really?” I pulled my hand back.

“Nick’s father is one of mi padre’s top lieutenants. He runs one of our clubs, Wanderland. It’s supposed to be higher end.”

“A strip club?”

“A private club,” Aléjandro corrected with a grin.

“So, there are also prostitutes.” When he didn’t reply, I added, “I’m familiar. Rocco oversaw the workers at a famiglia club called Emerald Club.”

“Your brother—”

“Dario?” I asked.

“Dante. He made a comment or two to Nicolas, Nick’s father, about Wanderland. Let’s just say he wasn’t complimentary and now Nicolas is pissed off.” Aléjandro shook his head. “The thing is, I agree with your brother.”

“You do?”

Aléjandro inhaled, his nostrils flaring. “Nicolas has been in charge of Wanderland and a few other casinos for years. I come in here and see shit that needs to change. As mi padre’s son, it’s within my right. To Nicolas I’m a hot-headed kid who hasn’t done his time.”

A smile came to my lips as I took in the over six feet, four inches of solid man before me. “I’d say you’re more than a kid.”

He nodded. “Dante should have spoken to me. There’s more than a little ill will within the cartel about the famiglia—about the alliance in general. Stirring up shit was stupid.”

I inhaled. “First, thank you for talking to me and not treating me as if I’m too dense to understand.”

Aléjandro nodded.

I went on, “Dante is behind the alliance. He told me that when I found out about our wedding. He even said at first, he was skeptical. If he said something to the lieutenant, my guess is that whatever it was that he mentioned bothers him. The famiglia has concerns too. Both organizations reflect on the other. Dante probably doesn’t want whatever he mentioned to reflect poorly on the famiglia. The alliance needs to work for both sides.”

As Aléjandro opened the door to the garage, he seemed to let my words sink in. “Let me get the suitcases. Rei will stay here at the house until I get back. We have guards outside, but I’m not willing to have any of them in here with you until Silas arrives.”

My forehead furrowed. “Where are you going?”

“To Wanderland. I need to deal with Nicolas face-to-face. Mi padre is still near, but if Nicolas is going to respect me, I should be the one to handle this.”

“Is it safe?”

Aléjandro’s lips twitched. “Too early to be a widow again?”

“Please don’t say that.” I stepped down into the garage seeing not only the Porsche, but also a black Mercedes and a large black SUV. Over to the side, I also saw a Ducati motorcycle. “No furniture, but plenty of vehicles.”

Aléjandro went to the Porsche and hit a key fob button. The hood opened.

“That’s odd, being in front,” I said.

“The engine takes up the rear half of the car. You’ll appreciate the speed if you decide to drive.”

“I don’t know how to drive.” When Aléjandro’s eyes opened wider and his forehead furrowed, I added, “My father didn’t think it was necessary and Rocco agreed.”

Lifting the suitcases out of the car, my husband shook his head. When his gaze met mine there was a gleam in his eyes. “I can teach you more than to like sex. I’ll teach you how to drive.”

Ignoring the comment about sex. I concentrated on the second part of his statement. “You will?” I asked incredulously. “What about Silas?”

“I don’t want you off by yourself, but it seems unsafe not to know how. There may be a time when you might need to jump in one of these and drive away.”

Turning back to the Ducati, I asked, “Will you teach me to drive that?”

Aléjandro’s laugh echoed through the garage. “Let’s start with four wheels.” He wheeled both suitcases back into the kitchen.

“I can take them both upstairs.” Reaching for the handles, I stopped. “Are you sure you shouldn’t take Rei with you? I’ll be fine in the house.”

“I trust Em and Nick to be with me. Rei won’t bother you. I’ll tell him to stay downstairs.”

I looked around at the empty rooms. “And do what?”

“Wi-Fi is up and running. He can stay busy.”

“Stay safe.”

Aléjandro splayed his fingers on each side of my waist and leaned close. Our noses were almost touching. “Kisses. I get those.”

I nodded before shutting my eyes and leaning in, closing the gap. There was nothing to hate about Aléjandro’s kisses. They could even become addicting. When we pulled away, we both had smiles. “Please let me know you’re all right.”

“I entered my number in your phone last night. Call me if you need anything.” He looked at the suitcases. “I can take them upstairs.”

“I’m good.”

As I carried the two small pieces of luggage up the stairs, I wondered if I was as I’d just said—good. Just maybe I was. Soon, I was lost in the job of unpacking. There were things I hadn’t seen since I’d packed them away after Rocco’s death. As I hung up and put away my clothes, I thought about Aléjandro’s offer to decorate. If he was okay with my buying large items, maybe he wouldn’t mind if I did an upgrade to my wardrobe. SoCal was a bit trendier than Missouri. Or at least, I imagined it was.

I hadn’t even noticed the time or the movement of the sun toward the horizon until the thunder of pounding footsteps caused me to turn toward the open door to our bedroom. In the dimming sunlight, Rei appeared in the doorway. His face was flushed as if he’d raced up the staircase.

“Mia,” he panted, holding tight to the doorframe. “We have to go.”