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To have and to  Loathe
To have and to Loathe
ผู้แต่ง: Sydney Barker

Chapter One

ผู้เขียน: Sydney Barker
last update ปรับปรุงล่าสุด: 2025-07-24 15:54:31

Mia 

“What!” I exclaimed in shock. “What are you saying?” I asked the man sitting behind his table, his handsome face stoic and emotionless. 

“I am not the father of the child you are carrying.” Killian stated curtly.

“Well, I haven’t been with anyone in months except you.” I retorted

He just looked at me blankly. “Do you expect me to believe you didn’t have a boyfriend or whatever before this happened?” 

I did have a boyfriend but we had not been intimate for some time before I caught him in bed with his childhood best friend and not about to tell Killian that.

“I have the doctor’s report with me here with me.” I said as I immediately pulled the papers from my pocket and placed them in front of him.

He eyed the paper boredly but didn’t pick it up. “This could be fake.” 

“Did you think you were the only one who walked in here and claimed to be pregnant?” He asked, looking up at me.

“I…I just…” 

“Many have tried but none have succeeded. You want to extort money from me.” He said cutting my words short.

“Even if the child were to be mine, you should get rid of it.”  he stated coldly.

“What!” I ask in shock.

When I stood in front of his home office, I didn't imagine that this was how this conversation would go. I mean I didn't expect warmth but this monster is outright cold and ruthless. 

“You heard me, I don’t want any fucking child tied to me right now. Get out of my office and you better don’t run your mouth to the press.” He said bluntly.

I stood there embarrassed, my vision blurred with tears before they streamed down my face. I couldn’t move.

“And your service to my grandfather is no longer needed. Your check will be mailed to your address.” He said.

His words rang in my ears as I immediately fell on my knees. “No! Please, don’t fire me. I swear this will not come in the way of my work. Please!” I pleaded.

“ Miss Lester, I don’t like to repeat myself.” He said before returning to his desktop, completely ignoring me.

Seeing that his mind is made up, I stood up and looked at him quietly. 

“I didn’t come to cause trouble. I just wanted to let you know of the baby’s existence but since you don’t want the baby, I will go.” I said and quickly ran out of his office, tears running down my cheeks.

As I passed the sitting room, I saw his grandfather where I had left him. The man liked me immediately and thought it was a good thing to introduce me to Killian.  

He was so condescending, rude, and cold— God! I hate him so much. 

I never imagined that he would turn out to be the stranger that I had a one-night stand with at the bar when my ex-boyfriend cheated on me— the world is just too small.

“Si..sir.” I choked out as I reached his side, catching his attention.

“Mia dear, what is the matter. What is making you cry?” He asked.

“Nothing sir, I just wanted to tell you that I will no longer work here. Thank you for everything you have done for me. Bye, Sir.” I said and immediately ran out of their home before he could say anything.

As soon as I boarded the cab, I let myself break down.

I am pregnant and jobless, I can’t afford to keep it— I just can’t. My phone rang immediately disrupting my train of thought.

“Hello Sandra," I said immediately as I picked up the phone.

“Mia!” Sandra exclaimed. “Where are you now?”

“Sandra, he didn’t want it. He said to get rid of it.” I said into the phone, still sobbing.

“God! He is such a bastard.” She said angrily.

“Please come home. Let’s talk about it. I will be waiting for you.” The line went off.

When I found out that Killian was the father of the baby, I was afraid to say anything but Sandra said that he at least deserved to know he had a child— but look how it turned out. 

When I arrived on my street, I rushed to a drug store and bought flushing pills before I went home.

“Oh mia!” My best friend, Sandra, said immediately I entered my apartment as she stood up and wrapped her hands around me.

“Sandra” I muttered weakly as she squeezed gently before letting me go.

“Killian is such a monster. Why would he tell you to do such a thing?” She bellowed in anger.

“I don’t know what to do. I am unemployed and pregnant Sandra. This is not the life I want for myself.” 

“What do you mean you are jobless?” 

“He fired me, Sandra.” 

“What! That bastard doesn’t have a conscience at all. I wish I could just strangle him.” Sandra said angrily as I reached into my pocket and brought the flushing pills.

“Jesus Mia, don’t tell me you listened to that Idiot!” Sandra shouted.

“You are far gone, this could harm you!! You could die Mia.”

“Then what do you have me do?” I shouted back, looking at her intently.

“I don’t have a job, how can I take care of a child?” I asked as fresh tears streamed down my face.

“You have me. And you have your mom and sc…”

“No! Please, not Mom and Scott. I don’t want them to find out about this.” I pleaded.

“Taking that drug is not an option either, I cannot allow it.” Sandra said defiantly.

“But I can’t depend on your generosity forever. You can’t take care of me and the baby forever.” I said

“We can think of something, please don't do this.” She said, her eyes begging.

I looked at the drugs in my hands and back at her. I know she would be disappointed in me, even my mom and Scott would be too if they found out about this but I can’t live like this.

“I think I have made my decision”

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  • To have and to Loathe   Chapter Nine

    Mia“You left without saying goodbye.” The text says, the simple text was filled with sadness and loss. It was Fabian. I haven’t spoken to him since like forever and I have ignored his texts— again.Well, I liked Fabian there is no denying that and I have been a bad friend. Shoot! I have to call Sandra too to fill her in on the situation. So much has changed, since she left me in wellsbury and I hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to her. “I will call you as soon as I can.” I typed in quickly before putting my phone away. I am so exhausted and a bit hungry since I couldn't have a nice dinner—thanks to Killian.The driver was long, sat in awkward silence throughout.“We are here.” Killian's voice jolted me awake as he shook my shoulder lightly. I looked around, my brain still foggy but I got out of the car gently.We stood in front of a big modern mansion. A grand water fountain—an elaborate figure sculpted in white stone stood proud. Crystal white water cascades from the top. The wa

  • To have and to Loathe   Chapter Eight

    “Don’t mind my son, he can be hard-headed sometimes.” Mom said to Killian as he straightened his suit before sitting down. That was something else. What has come over Scott? Why is he so pissed at Killian than I am? I didn’t sit around to know why he was saying to Mom before I ran after Scott. I walk the short passage that leads to Scott's room.I peeked into the room to see Scott sitting on the edge of the bed, rapidly tapping his feet on the floor— he does that whenever he is pissed.“Can I come in?” I asked, grabbing his attention. I didn’t wait for his reply, I walked up to his bed and sat beside him.“Why does it have to be Killian, is it because he has money?” His question took me aback. What!“Scott, this is between Killian and me,” I said flatly as I stared at him. “You have no right to discuss whether it is good for me or not.” “And you think he likes you, huh?” He scoffs, averting his gaze to his shelf filled with his sports and science trophies.“Well, I can’t deny a chi

  • To have and to Loathe   Chapter 6

    Chapter 7Killian MaxwellI drove slowly into the narrow street. The sidewalk was filled with junkies and hookers, some bird-calling as we drove deeper into the street. God! I have a lot of work to do but instead I am stuck with a crazy emotional woman that I have to take care of. She cannot be trusted to take care of herself. I sighed deeply as I glanced to my right side to see Mia fidgeting in her seat. “Stop doing that.” I bit out as I looked back on the road. I felt her gaze, as she looked at me intensely—- if only eyes could kill.“What am I doing?” “You are shaking and it is distracting.” “We could go another time. I don’t want to deal with this, at least not now.” She pleaded quietly as she batted her eyelashes— unintentionally I think. She leaned further into the seat as if to make herself tinier. Fuck!“We have a lot to do tomorrow.” It was the only answer I could muster at that time.Silence settled around us as I turned to park in front of Mia’s childhood home.The fron

  • To have and to Loathe   Chapter 6

    Mia“Scott! What did you do?”“What?” He asked. He sounded genuinely confused.“Why did you do this to me? I wanted to start a life here but no. You want me to stay there so you will keep playing the almighty big brother.” I said not caring that my tone was harsh.He deserved it after what he put me through.“I am not coming back. Get that into your thick skull.”“I genuinely have no idea what you are talking about.” He replied.“You made my boss fire me from my place of work. Right? You made the landlord kick me out..”I started to say but he cut me short. “Whoa! Stop right there. What do you mean?”“So you didn’t do it?” I asked instead of answering his questions.That bastard Killian. I can’t wait to get my hands on him.Don’t blame me for thinking it was my brother. He had friends that are well connected. I mean he once wanted to do business with a rich guy before everything fell apart.“I don’t know what you are talking about. Mom is really worried about you.” “I…I can’t co..” I

  • To have and to Loathe   Chapter Five

    Mia His smirk widens as he leans more into the couch.“Nothing yet. But if you defy me then you will force my hands.” He said.“How dare you try to use my mom and brother to threaten me?” I asked as I feel anger burn in the pit of my belly.“It is a win-win situation if you ask me. You get to take money at the end of the deal. Your mom and brother also benefit from it.” “How can you stoop this low?” He chuckled darkly. “You have no idea how low I can go, Mia. And you don’t wanna find out.” He said in a low tone making his voice deeper.“ You are a monster, Killian. I hate you.”“I don’t care about your feelings.” He said coldly.He stood up and adjusted his suit jacket as he looked down at me intently. “And I will take custody of the baby when it’s born.”What!“What the hell do you mean? Once our deal is over, I will take my baby.” “Well then. Hope you have the best lawyers because I will slam you with lawsuits”Freaking Devil.“You can’t be serious about this, are you?” I aske

  • To have and to Loathe   Chapter Four

    Mia The tall huge figure rushed past me and ran into the dark of the night. I rushed back inside and secured the locks before I went to bed.The incident ran through my mind as I wiped down the diner tables. I didn’t tell Sandra about it as she prepared to go. She would worry for my safety.The front doorbell chimes disrupting my thoughts.“We are not yet open.” I said as I swirled around to see Fabian smiling. He was wearing sweatshirts and pants and his skin was covered with a sheen of heat.“Hey, beautiful.”“Fabian!”“I thought I could see you before this place starts buzzing.”I smiled lightly. “Fabian, what are you doing here?” I asked him.“You have not been replying to any of my texts. I thought I could find out why.” He said, still smiling at me.“Fabian. Whatever this is. It is not going to work.” “What?” He asked, looking confused. “I just want to get to know you better, maybe it could lead to something more than friendship.”“I can’t offer you more than casual friendship

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