I found out my husband of three years had cheated on me and his mistress is the one who told me—because he didn’t have the balls to do it himself. I move out and get a new apartment, a job as a bartender, and try to move on with a broken heart. I wonder where it all went wrong, if I hadn’t been enough for him, if I’d been stupid for marrying him in the first place. I’m at work one night when he walks inside—the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. He sits at the bar and a forest fire burns between us. I was depressed the moment before he entered, but the second I look at his blue eyes, I forget the dumpster fire that my life has become. I invite him back to my place and it’s the most passionate night of my life. I expect to never see him again.
View MoreI entered the building, walked up the five flights of stairs because the elevator had been busted since I moved in, and then got my key in the lock. The door opened, and I entered my small apartment, the one-bedroom flat with a kitchen that also served as a laundry room. I flicked on the light switch and then gave a small jump at the sight of the man sitting in the armchair like a goddamn gargoyle. “Jesus…” I gave my keys a squeeze before I tossed them on the table and set my purse down. “I told you to stop doing that.”
He continued to sit there with his elbows on his knees, his shoulders broad in his jacket, his eyes down on his fingers as he gripped his phone. It took him a moment to lift his chin and look at me, his hazelnut eyes full of self-loathing. “If you don’t want me here, then pick up your fucking phone.”
“I don’t have to do anything, Adrien.” It was nearly two in the morning, but the City of Lights still had people on every corner, riding their bikes to the opposite side of town or smoking in the cafés downstairs. Au Pied de Cochon was right near my apartment, one of the few restaurants in Paris that basically never locked their doors or turned off their lights because it was open almost twenty-four hours. I’d eaten there a couple times after my shift, but mostly just to wind down with a cigarette.
He rose to his feet, in dark jeans and a leather jacket, raindrops visible on the material like it had sprinkled on him during his walk from the car. He left the green armchair and came close to where I stood by the round dining table, which held a vase full of flowers that I’d grabbed from the market yesterday. “I found a marriage counselor—”
“I don’t want to go to counseling,” I snapped. “I want a divorce.” I’d asked for a divorce the moment I’d discovered his infidelity, a treason he didn’t even have the balls to tell me himself. But he’d made that request impossible to grant. Made me jump through endless hoops, just to get rejected by the court—because he’d paid everyone off.
“We’re Catholic. We don’t believe in divorce—”
“So you fucked around under the assumption I would never leave?”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“I don’t want to make this marriage work. I’m a fine piece of ass who doesn’t need this shit. I want a man who keeps his word and is so brutally honest that it’s almost cruel. You are not that man, Adrien.”
The anger flickered across his face, but he tightened the reins on his rage. “I made a mistake. I told you it wasn’t an affair. She meant nothing to me.”
“But she was worth your marriage?”
His nostrils flared, but he still didn’t yell like he normally would. “There was a lot of shit going on at work and I had too much wine to drink, and she came on to me. I had a moment of weakness. I’m fucking human.”
I rolled my eyes. “More like a Neanderthal.”
His desperate eyes were locked on mine. “I said I was sorry about a million times.”
“I don’t want an apology. I want a divorce. I want you to stop popping up in my apartment like you still own me.”
“You’re still my wife—”
“Fuck you.”
He drew in a slow breath and closed his eyes briefly. “You wouldn’t be this angry if you didn’t still love me.”
“I’m just an angry person, Adrien.”
“You’re a passionate person, Fleur. There’s a difference,” he said. “It happened once, and it won’t happen again. I will do anything you want to make this work because, despite what you think, I love you with everything I have.”
I stepped away because I didn’t want to look at him anymore. Rain started to pelt the windows and the skylight above the kitchen. The curtains were open, and the light from the lampposts illuminated the city and the wet pavement in the rain.
“Fleur.”
I kept my back to him.
“I’ll never give you a divorce. Every time you submit your paperwork, the judge will deny it. You will never remarry because your marriage to me will remain intact. The only way I’ll lift those restrictions is if you try to make this work.”
I continued to look out the window.
“If you work on this marriage with me.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, and I felt the cold from the windowpane. I could see my reflection as a faint outline. The city below was so beautiful, but it was hard to appreciate it when I felt so low. I never shed a tear in front of him. I turned to the feeling that was the easiest to feel—which was anger. “Were there others?”
“No.” His answer was quick, almost too quick.
I turned around and faced him, studying his hard eyes. His hair was dark like espresso, and his eyes were warm like hazelnut. His Italian ancestry was visible on his skin, and he spoke both French and Italian, one of the things that had attracted me to him. Marriage was such a profound experience that changed everything, and my marriage had left all kinds of scars. Even when we were so far apart, I still felt attached to him. But I didn’t want to be attached to him. “Were there others?”
His eyes flinched slightly when I asked the question again, a subtle hesitation. “No.”
I studied his face, searching for a hint of a lie and unsure how to decipher what I saw. But I knew that I shouldn’t even have to ask the question, that I shouldn’t have to wonder if it was a lie or the truth. “I need to think.”
“There was no one else—”
“I need space, Adrien. Stop blowing up my phone and lurking in my apartment like a goddamn stalker so I can have two seconds to think.” I turned back to the window and watched a water drop streak to the bottom and disappear.
He lingered for a moment, his eyes hot on my spine, but then his feet eventually shifted and he left the apartment, taking as long as possible, as if I might ask him to come back.
Bastien walked me to the lobby door hidden between the two rows of hedges. There was a mist in the air, visible in the lights outside the buildings, drops of rain so light they floated like snow. “I’ll leave you here.”I scanned my phone into the computer so the lock on the door released. It was as heavy as the gates to an old keep, something that couldn’t be broken down by a herd of Clydesdales. I looked at him standing in the mist like the cold didn’t bother him at all, didn’t leave bumps on his arms as his body tightened to stop the heat from escaping. “Why?”That boyish smile moved in that rugged, manly face. “I assumed you needed some time.”“I do.” There wasn’t a word to accurately describe the way I felt, a mixture of sorrow and unstoppable rage. There was a special kind of anger felt by women who had to leave their lying husbands. Wished I knew what that word was. “But I also want you to stay.” How could I be so heartbroken over one man but so desperate for another? How could
We went to Au Pied de Cochon after I got off work, a restaurant I’d spent a lot of time in since my divorce, the perfect place for a smoke after a long day, for a late-night meal when I didn’t have time to eat anything.There were a few people in the restaurant, but it was mostly empty except for us and a couple other tables.Bastien ordered a stiff drink, and I had a glass of wine and an appetizer.It was nearly three in the morning, but Bastien didn’t seem even slightly tired. He didn’t have bags under his eyes, had a distinct clarity to his gaze that made it seem like he’d woken up just a few hours ago.The drinks were brought to our table, along with the burrata I ordered.Bastien didn’t seem interested because he didn’t touch it.“I haven’t eaten anything today.”“Then you should have ordered more than the burrata.”“I said I hadn’t eaten, not that I was hungry.” I grabbed a piece of bread and spooned the fresh cheese with the tomato on top, making my own version of bruschetta. I
“We were there for less than ten minutes—”“It’s over.”He followed me into the apartment. “You said you would try.”“And I did try.” I turned back around. “You know how hard it was for me to go down there? No one gets married expecting to get divorced, but I really thought we would last. I really thought we were different—like a freakin’ idiot.”“We are different.”“No, we aren’t. We’re just another couple where the husband fucks around because he’s rich and thinks his wife will just put up with it.”“It was one time.”“That’s what you say…”“Fleur—”“I’m so fucking done with this.” I threw up my hands in frustration. “I don’t want to be married to you anymore, Adrien. I don’t want to try. I just want to move on. Stop forcing me to do something I don’t want to do. If you love me, you’ll let me go. If you’re the man you say you are, you won’t use your resources to block my attempts to be free of you.”Adrien was rooted to the spot, looking cornered like I was the one who came at him.
My eyes lifted because they’d sunk to the floor. “Sorry…”“It’s okay,” Linda said. “This is difficult.”“How did you fuck her?” I lifted my chin and looked at him.He stilled at the question, like he couldn’t believe I asked that. “Fleur…”“Did you throw her on the bed? Did you grab her by the hair? Did you come inside her?”Adrien looked shocked by the questions. “I—I don’t think the details matter.”“I’m just trying to understand,” I said. “Because if it was the best sex of your life, then it would make sense.”“You’re the best I’ve ever had, Fleur.”“Really?” I asked. “Because you aren’t mine.”Even Linda’s eyebrows lifted at that statement.Because we had an audience, Adrien hid the anger he would normally show. He had to bottle it and swallow whatever he would have said.I turned to Linda. “Did you pick those yourself?”It took her a moment to understand that I referred to the roses on the corner of her desk. “I saw you admire those. Yes, I have a small garden on my terrace. Do y
BastienSince he’d paid me an unexpected visit at my home, I decided to do the same to him.My driver pulled up to the gates, and I stepped out to speak with the guard. After a brief conversation, he let me pass into the courtyard. It was a nice building, the luxury understated and tasteful. It was an expensive piece of property, but it was nowhere near as expensive as mine.I was even more impressed that Fleur had left it all behind to start over on her own.Fuck, she was so hot.There was a fountain in the center, potted plants and hydrangeas spread around. It looked like a spot for lunch, when the sun was directly overhead and the wind was blocked by three walls.One of his staff approached me. “I’ll take you inside, sir.”“He can meet me here. It’ll only take a moment.” I wouldn’t set foot into the house of my enemy. Not when I despised him so deeply.The man gave a nod then stepped into the home.I waited, the courtyard well lit despite the late hour. It was almost midnight, so t
FleurIt’d been a couple days since Bastien had come by the apartment. I’d eaten the pancakes when he’d left, and they were just as good as the first time I’d had them on the terrace of his home along the Seine. But I hadn’t heard from him since, and I hadn’t heard from Adrien either. It was the first time I’d heard nothing from either of them.I went back to work at the bar, and Bastien didn’t show up for a drink. Adrien didn’t stop by to harass me either. My life became quiet and unremarkable. That forced me to experience the pain head on, to think about what I wanted to do.Try to save my marriage…or move on.I was in my apartment when Adrien texted me. Can we talk?I should appreciate how much space he’d given me this last week, even though I shouldn’t have to appreciate anything from him, not after what he’d done. Sure.I’ll be there in a minute.That meant he was outside my apartment, at one of the cafés downstairs, or sitting in the back of his driver’s car. Just when I thought
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