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Chapter 21
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Us Chapter 22
CRYSTAL It's been a week and my viral infection is gone, but I haven't seen or heard from Brooks. I chose not to call him because I was still a little hurt at his relief. I know I am not ready for a baby and I know he could get in trouble if anyone found out about us, but now I feel like he doesn't really want to be with me. How could I have been so stupid? I gave in and gave him what I knew deep down he wanted. I think if he tries to contact me, keeping my distance from him for a while might be a good idea. I sat down on the rail on my front porch and opened my journal. I started sketching the bushes in front of my house and as I was looking at them I saw his SUV. I put my head down and tried to avoid any looks if he was looking this way. I peeked to see if he was gone and the coast was clear. I went back to sketching the bushes and when I finished I asked my dad if I could go for a walk. He told me he didn't care and I headed out the door. I decided to walk down the road instead o
Us Chapter 23
BROOKSI don't understand why she got so upset at my relief when she said she wasn't pregnant. I mean she is 17 and I am 21, she knows we can't get caught. I know she is falling in love with me but I can't fall for her. This was all supposed to be a lay, and that was it. I don't want to be in a relationship but I care for her and I shouldn't. What is wrong with me? I have never been a relationship guy, I have always been a f*ck them and leave or become f*ck buddies. I have never cared for any of the girls before. I also have never been with anyone younger than me, maybe that's what it is. I'm like one of those mentors who care for their mentorees. No that can't be it because I can't stop thinking about her. This girl haunts my mind every minute of the day. My mom walked into the front door and I said I have a question. She asked me what it was and I said can you tell me what it means when a guy or girl is on someone's mind every waking minute of the day? My mom laughed and told me it
Us Chapter 24
CRYSTALAfter my run with Brooks 2 days ago, I started to feel a little better inside. I wasn't down like I normally am. He makes everything better. I got on the bus to head home from school and I fell asleep I woke up to Jonah sitting next to me and he didn't say anything. I asked what was up and he just looked at me. It was as if he was searching for an answer without even asking a question. Finally, he said, “Why did you sleep with Brooks?" I sat up from the position I was in and said why would you even ask me that Jonah? He said, “Brooks is acting weird and I can't figure out what is going on." I said well maybe you don't need to try to figure out what is going on with him. I said give your brother some space and let him get through whatever weirdness he is dealing with. He said, “The thing is, he wasn't acting this weird until I told him I poked a hole in his cond*ms." I looked at him and asked why he did that and if he knew what could happen if Brooks slept with someone.
Us Chapter 25
CRYSTALWhen I woke up, I kept telling myself it was just a nightmare and that Brooks didn't really come here last night and tell me all that. Deep down I knew it wasn't. I got up out of bed and jumped in the shower. I needed to wash my face really good and try to relieve some of the puffiness from my eyes so I could go to school and not look like I was having an allergic reaction to something. Once my puffiness had gone down, I put some makeup on to try and hide the rest of it. It worked for the majority of it, but you could tell I had been crying. I knew what to tell my dad if he noticed. I'd say I was thinking about my mom. I fixed myself some toast with butter and got my books in my bookbag and headed out the door. When I got to the bus stop force of habit kicked in and I looked that way. I saw his explorer was gone and I turned around and waited for the bus. Jonah walked up behind me and said hey. I turned and was about to say good morning when I saw he had been crying. I asked i
Us Chapter 26
**Trigger Warning** This chapter hints at self-harm. BROOKSI heard my phone ring and when I looked down I saw it was the house. So I ignored it. After the second time, a voicemail popped up and I figured it was mom or Jonah begging me to come home. I just ignored it. I got up off the ground and went and grabbed another bottle of Liquor I bought when I got up. I actually bought 5 bottles. I opened it and tilted my head back. It burned going down but at this point, I didn't care. I wanted to get so f*cked up, I forgot everything. I was halfway through the bottle when my phone rang again but it only rang once and stopped. I looked at the number and it said restricted. I went back to drinking. I finished the bottle and started walking well stumbling around and the anger towards myself flared up and I began hitting a tree. Over and over and over again my fist connected with the trunk until I heard a crack and felt the pain instantly. I knew I had either fracture it or broken it but I d
Us Chapter 27
*** Trigger Warning*** This chapter talks about a suic*de attempt and self-harming. CRYSTALWhen Jonah left from my window, I sat back against the wall with tears rolling down my face and grabbed my bottle of anti-depressant medication, and took 4 of them at once. I closed my eyes and tried to picture my mom holding me when I was a kid but I couldn't. I kept seeing his face and hearing him in my head admit everything, hurt so much more than the night he told me. I took another pill and picked up my pocket knife and cut another line into my wrist then another. I was done with all the pain I have had to go through in my life. I didn't want to live anymore. I cut a couple more lines on my wrist and then everything went black. All of a sudden I could hear people talking but couldn't open my eyes and I couldn't speak. I felt like I was choking on something. I was choking on my own vomit. I heard someone telling me it was ok and to relax but I was freaking out. I finally opened my eyes
Us Chapter 28
BROOKSWhen we left the hospital, Jonah looked at me and said, “What in the hell did you do to my friend Brooks? What happened before you called me and told me to go to her window? Don't say nothing, because your hand is fractured and she is in the hospital with bandages on her wrist and talking about anti-depressants, and before you say it, YES I know what they are." I looked at my 14-year-old brother and said when in the hell did you become so grown? He said, “I kind of had to grow up because I have a dumbass brother like you, who likes to share details on the girls he has slept with and doesn't know how to deal with his mistakes so he comes to me." I said Jonah watch your mouth. He laughed and said, “Why? It was ok for you to curse at my age. Why should I watch what I say? It's not like I am cursing mom out like you did. I am more mature than most 14-year-old boys and believe I have the right to act like an adult because you sure as hell don't." I said text mom and let her kn
Us Chapter 29
CRYSTAL I finally get to go home today. I have missed my comfy bed and I have actually missed school. I know I can't go back until next week but I can't wait. I need a distraction from Brooks and I know all the other crap I deal with, will take my mind off of it for a little while. I am still pissed at him and I need him to know I was taking pain meds and that's the only reason I was being nice. Now that I have the IV out and the meds have worn off I am back to wanting to cut his d*ck off for hurting me. The shrink, Dr. Gunn is coming back in, in a few minutes to talk to me again before he signs my release papers and I am going to tell him the same answers I said yesterday. I am not mentally unstable and I want out of this place. I hate hospitals. Brooks has texted me 7 times since I got up and one text last night after I fell asleep. I kind of regret calling him but I was also kind of out of it. I was sitting up in my bed when Dr. Gunn knocked on the door. I told him to come in and
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