CHAPTER 4 SHE SAID MY FULL NAME

"It's better not to know anything," I muttered. "I think it's obvious I don't want to talk about it, so..."

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'm sorry." Jaz backed off, raising her hands slightly. "Okay, then, I won't insist. But hey, aren't you hungry yet? Let's go to the cafeteria."

I stared at her. Jaz was inviting me? Why? After what I did to her? It felt too good to be true. A cold dread settled in my stomach—maybe she was setting me up for a much worse kind of revenge. I needed to be careful.

"No, thanks."

"Why not?" She pouted, crossing her arms. "People don't normally reject me."

"Then I'll be the first," I replied flatly.

"Perhaps you're just afraid of me..."

An unwilling grin tugged at my lips. Why would I be afraid of her? "Okay, fine. If you're that desperate, I'll give you a chance," I said, letting the words carry a double meaning.

"No! I am not desperate!" she blurted out, her cheeks instantly flushing red. "I'm just being friendly. I can sense you don't have any friends. Come on, let's go. Before someone sees us here..."

Jaz was right about that. If anyone caught us together, it would be over. It would be my dead end.

When we reached the canteen, the noise hit me. The place was packed. Right on cue, the crowd did what they always did—started paying attention to her. Every guy who passed by found an excuse to wave or say hi.

Before I could turn back, Jaz grabbed my hand, anchoring me to her as she pulled me toward the counter. She only let go once we reached the front line.

"What do you want to eat?" she asked excitedly.

I licked my dry lips, glancing at the menu. "A clubhouse sandwich and a Mountain Dew."

"Is that all? Aren't you going to eat rice? You can't survive on just bread, Anika."

I blinked. Was that actual worry in her voice? Or was I just imagining it?

"No, I'm fine with the sandwich," I insisted.

"How about some fries, then?" A flash of frustration crossed her face. Why did she care so much? "Come on, that's not going to last you through a full day of classes. At least add fries?" Jaz pleaded, her eyes practically hypnotizing me.

I let out a quiet scoff and gave up. She really was something else. This whole dynamic was entirely new to me. I had never had friends—not because nobody wanted to be around me, but because I actively refused to let anyone in. I hated people. Yet, somehow, this girl had managed to drag me out here. How did she do that? I was almost impressed.

Usually, I spent my breaks alone, recharging in the quiet. Crowds drained me. But here I was, standing in the middle of a chaotic cafeteria with dozens of eyes burning holes into us.

"Hi, Jaz!" a girl called out, stepping into our path.

"Hello, Trixie."

Trixie’s eyes shifted to me, scanning me up and down. "Who's she?"

"She's new here. This is Anika." Trixie extended her hand for a handshake, but I just stared at it, completely ignoring the gesture. I watched the smile fade from her face, replaced by instant irritation, but I didn't care. Just because she was Jaz's friend didn't mean I had to play nice.

"Um, Trixie... I'll see you later, okay?" Jaz cut in quickly, sensing the tension turning sour.

As Trixie walked away, I kept my eyes locked on Jaz, waiting to see how she’d react to my blatant rudeness.

"It's fine, Anika. Don't give me that look," Jaz said softly. "I understand if you're not comfortable being friendly. I force myself to talk to others even when I don't want to, but you... you just get to be yourself, no matter what."

I understood what she meant, but it baffled me. Why endure the fake pleasantries if you don't want to? Why force a smile for everyone?

Once we finally got our food, Jaz started looking around for a table. The constant whispers and stares from the surrounding students were grating on my last nerve. Before she could pick a spot, I grabbed her sleeve and dragged her out of the canteen.

"Where are we going, Anika? Take it easy!"

"If you want to eat with me, you’d better get used to eating outside," I snapped, keeping my pace fast. "I hate crowds. And why does everyone pay so much attention to you anyway? What is wrong with them? Don't get me wrong, Jaz, but there’s really nothing special about you."

She threw a mock-offended look at me as we walked. I didn't stop until I found a secluded, empty corner of the campus.

"So..." Jaz started, a small smirk playing on her lips as we sat down. "Does this mean this won't be our last time eating together?"

I knew exactly what she was trying to do, so I ignored the question entirely. "Here. We can eat here."

She smiled, her bright white teeth catching the light, and handed me my clubhouse sandwich and fries. A faint snicker escaped me as I remembered how fiercely she had argued for the extra side of fries.

[JAZ AMANDA POV]

I couldn't help the happiness bubbling up inside me. I had actually gotten her to eat with me. Even if we were sitting outside on a random, vacant bench in a part of the campus where nobody ever walked, it felt like a win.

"Do you really eat rice every single break? Daily?" Anika asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

I chuckled. "What's wrong with eating rice every day? That's what our bodies need to survive a tiring day, right?" I looked at her tray. "What about you? Is that really all you eat every day?"

We exchanged a look and laughed together, the tension between us finally melting away.

"I don't digest heavy food easily," she explained, picking up a fry. "So I eat light."

"Hmm. I get hungry incredibly fast. I eat a ton but I don't really gain weight, so it works out." I swallowed a bite of my food, clearing my throat before trying to sound casual. "Do you have any plans after class?" I immediately looked away, avoiding her sharp gaze.

"Same as usual. Maybe the park, maybe the mall. Wherever I feel like going."

"You're lucky," I sighed, genuinely envious. "You're allowed to go anywhere you want?"

"You can do that too. It's up to you to just do what you want... Jaz Amanda," she said, using my full name.

"My parents would never allow it. They think I'll neglect my studies..."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her head drop as she let out a bitter, hollow smile.

"Maybe your parents just aren't that strict, Anika," I added, trying to fill the silence.

"I don't have them."

My fork froze halfway to my mouth. I stopped chewing. Did I hear her right? She doesn't have parents? Then... who takes care of her?

A sudden wave of understanding crashed over me. Everything about her—her sharp walls, her defensive attitude, the isolation—it all made sense now. Looking at her, a strange, fierce protective instinct bloomed in my chest. I didn't just feel like I needed to take care of her; I realized I wanted to.

"Are you done?" Anika's voice broke my train of thought. "I want to smoke."

A frown creased my forehead. I didn't want her to smoke—it was terrible for her health. I caught myself wondering why I suddenly cared so intensely about what she did to her body.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and brushed off my skirt. "Okay... then. Let's go."