Memories [4]

"You've been gone so long, I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have a real friend." Hera's smile is twinged with a sadness that is beyond anything I've ever seen before, her lips pressed together in a straight line of melancholy.

I pause, lowering the heavy leather bound book in my hands for a moment to study her. "What about the other Gods?" I ask after a moment, my curiosity gnawing at me unrelentingly as I gazed at the Goddess.

She was silent for a long moment, gazing out the window at the soft rain that begins to fall from the darkening sky, her silhouette dark against the bright ivory walls of the library. When she finally responds, I can hear the loneliness in her voice, a sound that pulls at the chords of my heart. "Hecate, they do not see me, not for who I am. To them, I am still the vengeful Queen of the Gods. They would rather fear or scorn me than get to know my heart. You are different, my dear friend. You never cared about my reputation. Even my own husband could not love me the way he should have..." Her voice breaks as she speaks, turning to face me.

Her face is desolate, her eyes empty and hollow. "Now, I'm just left trying to fill the void. Regardless, we still have a ball to decorate. Has the book helped your memory?"

I glance down at the book in my hands slowly, decorated with elaborate portraits and statues of the Gods, full to the brim with information over each Greek entity. "Not my memory, but...I am glad I have looked it over. I feel slightly more prepared for this gathering now that I know a bit about the people attending."

"Well, that is good to hear, at least." Hera replies, her voice more composed now. "Though, you may find the real deal a bit different than the book. Mortals can only get so much right, you know."

My stomach churns with anxiety at the thought of meeting the Gods. I feel as if I'm stuck in some sort of dream, or perhaps a nightmare. "Hera," I say suddenly, lifting my eyes to meet the gaze of the brown-eyed Goddess. "I'm not ready to meet everyone."

Hera's eyes soften considerably, and she offers me a comforting smile, striding across the room to stand beside me. "Hecate, you'll do great. I know this must be hard, but waiting won't make it any easier, alright? Come on, let's go begin decorating. Everyone will be arriving in only a short hour."

As she leads me away, down the long, empty hallways, past the many rooms and twirling staircases, I can understand the loneliness she feels here. As beautiful and lavish as the palace is, it feels hollow inside, the same way Hera's eyes looked as she gazed at me, overflowing with a forlorn feeling. The ballroom itself is completely empty, complete with tall, wide windows as the only light source other than the sparkling chandelier overhead. Hera's eyes are shuttered as she gazes at the empty room. "Let's get started." She says after a moment. "There isn't an awful lot to do...we don't do dinner at these events, you see. I'll just prepare the music and we'll be ready. Ballroom music is sort of dreary, but I must admit, it does bring about a certain feeling. It's indescribable, really."

"Zeus used to whisk me across the floors of this room, spin me till I was breathless and could only look at him with admiration." She speaks quietly, her eyes downcast, fixated on the beautiful marble floors. "I thought I was so blessed, so lucky to rule beside the man I loved the most. But oh, my love was so unmatched, Hecate." She buries her face in her palms, slowly sinking to the floor, her pink dress pooling around her, the fabric bright against the floors.

My heart aches for her as I watch, almost feeling intrusive, like I shouldn't be witnessing such a vulnerable moment. I can't speak, my throat tightening, but I slowly sit down beside her, resting one hand comfortingly on her shoulder. She peers at me through her fingers, and I see unshed tears in her eyes. "It was never me, and always everyone else. I was never enough to satisfy him."

I manage to push out words this time. "It wasn't you that was the issue, Hera. It was always him. You will find someone that values you more than that."

Hera simply shakes her head, standing slowly. I follow her lead, looking at her warily, wondering how long it would be before she fell apart again. It seems she was used to bottling things up, and today, she wants to finally let go. She seems to realize it isn't the time, though, because she stiffens her shoulders almost determinedly and raises her chins, wiping a single stray tear with the sleeve of her pink gown. "The band will be here soon." She says with a forced smile, one that shows no teeth. "I'll have Zeus bring down the piano soon. But in the meanwhile...I have an idea, regarding your memories. We don't have much time, but...it may be worth a try."

"What is it?" I ask, unable to help the eagerness that slips into my tone. The thought of regaining my memories excites me, more than I want it to. Though I am happy with the life I'm living now, I can't deny wanting to know more.

"Gods, we can..." She pauses, her brow furrowing delicately, like she's deciding how to explain something. "We can sort of share memories, you see? Only if we were present, and they are presented from our point of view, but we can. Usually only with other Gods."

My stomach flutters nervously at the thought, and I peer at her curiously. "You would be willing to do that?"

"Of course." Hera nods, her eyes widening earnestly. "But, Hecate...the things you see, they may not all be pretty. I don't know what you are like now, but please keep in mind, you are the Goddess of Witchcraft...it may not all be pretty."

I almost smile. I doubt very seriously many people consider being an assassin very pretty, either. "Understood." I reply softly after a moment, giving her a nod.

"Alright..." Hera says, her voice quiet and laced with reluctance. "Take my hand. It will require intense concentration. Just leave your mind...open."

I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I nod, closing my eyes and attempting to clear my swirling thoughts. Hera's hand grasps mine firmly, and I take a deep, steadying breath. A few moments of silence pass, and a soft breeze rustles my hair. "Open your eyes." Hera's voice is soft, whimsical, seeming to be close to my ear.

I open my eyes, slowly, and the scene in front of me has changed. I am no longer in the ballroom, I realize. I shudder softly at the scene in front of me. I feel intrusive, as if I shouldn't be there, but I force myself to take a look around. There, across the room, is undeniably me. My hair is longer than it is now, though, reaching my waist, curly as ever, pinned back from my face with delicate gold pins. My eyes are softer than I've seen them before, and across from me stands a man who I realize I recognize. The man from the restaurant. What is he doing in Hera's memory? His brows are furrowed in a slight frown, and his eyes are fixed firmly on the me in the memory. "Hecate, this is reckless, even for you..." He says, his voice laced with clear concern. "Hera, tell her." He adds after a moment, waving one hand loosely. "Maybe she'll listen to you."

I feel myself step forward and my head shake. I'm seeing through Hera, I realize as I feel my lips part in response. "Hecate doesn't listen to anyone, Ares, as you should know. Reckless she may be, but she is a smart woman, and I trust she'll take care of herself."

I watch myself smile in approval, teeth flashing white, and give her an appreciative nod. "Hera is correct. I'll be fine, Ares."

The man, Ares, doesn't seem pleased with the conclusion Hera and I have seemed to have drawn. He shakes his head slightly in what appears to be disappointment, reaching one hand to brush his hand against the bare skin of the memory of myself's shoulder, and I watched myself shudder slightly at his touch, eyes meeting his. "Just be careful." He says gruffly after a moment, his eyes shuttering. The emotion vanishes from his features, replaced with indifference. "We can't risk any more Goddesses becoming injured and unable to fight."

The memory of myself looks pained for a moment at Ares's remark before my own face smooths, one eyebrow raising delicately. "Of course. Hera, will you see me off?"

"Of course." Hera replies softly, her voice laced with the slightest underlying bit of sympathy. "Do you want your cloak before you leave?" She adds after a moment, speaking quietly.

The memory of myself takes a brief look at her exposed shoulders, the long off-the-shoulder, wine colored gown I was wearing doing little to protect from biting winds. "Yes, that'd probably be wise."

Then, the scene vanishes, wiped away like a bit of dust. I'm back in Hera's ballroom, staring into the eyes of the concerned looking Goddess. "Are you alright?" She asks me with a slight tilt of her head, releasing my hand gently. "I know memory-sharing can be disorienting."

"I'm okay." I say after a moment. "What was that? Where was I going?"

"You were...searching for something. I'll tell you more in time. I want to give you time to adjust." Hera explains gently. "I'll share more memories with you at a later date. For now, let's get ready for the ball, shall we? It'll be starting soon."

"Hecate. I heard you had returned, and simply had to come see for myself." A loud, femine voice rings out across the large room, a voice sleek and confident and powerful. I turn, unable to stop myself.

There, a woman stands in a dazzling, short red dress, barely reaching her upper thighs. Her hair is blood-red, cut short in a bob, and her lips are painted the same color, emphasizing her pale, milky skin. Her eyes are an unnaturally bright shade of emerald green, and almost hypnotizing. To put it plainly, she is stunning. "Of course you did, Aphrodite." Hera's voice is sharper than I've heard it before, coated thickly in faux-sweetness. "You've always been very interested in what Hecate is up to, haven't you? I'm sure not knowing these past three years would have killed you, had you not been immortal."

Aphrodite. Goddess of Love. I recall, and although I can't explain it, my nose wrinkles distastefully at the sight of her, and my heart tugs with something akin to dislike. Aphrodite tilts her head back and laughs sweetly, though I have a feeling she's anything but. "Oh, on the contrary, Hera. I must say, it's been lovely having Ares warm my bed these past few years. You don't mind, do you, Hecate?" She adds innocently, her eyes wide. "I know things ended on a...sour note with you two, but I hope there's no hard feelings."

Ended on a sour note? Had I dated the man? My mind begins to whirl with the possibilities of what could have occured, but I remain outwardly composed. "Of course I don't mind." I reply with a sugary smile that feels strange on my face. "If you want my sloppy seconds, who am I to stop you?"

Aphrodite's mouth gapes, her eyebrows pinching together in irritation, and Hera stifles a laugh with the back of her hand, clearing her throat. "On that note..." Hera says amusedly, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "Let's decorate a ball."