Did he smell like leather?

- Josephine -

His hand was firm and strong, but holding mine so gently.

It felt exciting to be swept up in his chaos, rushing through the house into the garden.

As we stepped out into the sunlight he let go of my hand to shade his eyes and took several strides forward. He slipped his large coat off, exposing his vest and shirt, before draping it over a wall and turning to face me.

“It’s a beautiful day Josephine. It’d be a shame to waste it cooped up in your room.”

I smiled and nodded, and began to walk beside him down the path.

“So, you paint?” He sounded genuinely interested.

“Yes. I do love it, but I’m getting bored of painting scenery.”

“Oh?”

“Once you’ve painted one woodland, you’ve painted them all. Lord Leven’s hedge maze is the first bit of excitement I’ve had in a while.”

He looked at me with his typical cheeky grin.

“Painting. Excitement while painting.”

He looked back and the path, still chuckling to himself. “I see. Well, we will have to do something about that… the painting.”

I squinted in embarrassment, hoping he would let the subject drop.

“Josephine, have I offended you?”

I stopped walking in surprise.

“No Tristan, why would you have offended me?”

He slipped his hands in his pockets and casually looked around the garden.

“I don’t know. I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Oh, I-“

“No, it’s quite alright.” He cut me off. “I couldn’t think of what I had done to offend you. Then I realised that my reputation may have proceeded me. Yes?”

I didn’t know what to say. I had instantly disliked him, then I was told about his bad behaviour, then I thought about him while I was touching myself. How am I supposed to answer? The silence stretched between us, I looked up to find him looking at me expectantly.

“How about this, you ask me whatever you like, and I swear to answer you honestly.”

I furrowed my brow. “Why would you do that?”

He shrugged and turned, continuing to walk down the path at a relaxed pace. I caught up and moved beside him.

“Why not? You strike me as a very straightforward woman, I believe I can trust you. It’s your job to make sure that that trust isn’t misplaced.”

Without thinking I blurted out my first question.

“Who’s Lady Middleton?”

He smiled looking at the floor, but we continued walking.

“Lizzie, yes. Well I suppose she is my lover. What have you heard?”

“That she was your mother’s childhood friend and that everyone knows you bed her.”

He chuckled.

“Yes, that’s all true I’m afraid. It’s not as scandalous as people think though. Yes, she and Mother were friends, but she married Lord Middleton and moved to France long before I was born. She didn’t return to England until I was about 18. I liked her, I felt for her. Middleton was a brute, he beat her terribly and had many women. Lizzie used to come here to get away from him, and our affection grew over time. The Lord died a few years ago, and she’s been living well ever since. In fact she is hosting the ball this weekend.”

I sighed. It didn’t sound as scandalous as I had thought.

“But Tristan, she’s old enough to be your Mother. How does Lady Leven feel about it? Do you love her?”

He continued unfazed.

“Mother is happy that she’s happy. The fact that I… occasionally tend to her needs, doesn’t really come into conversation. But no, I’m not in love with Lizzie, we just… get together now and again.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“No.” He shrugged again. “You?”

“What about the maid when you were a boy?”

That stopped him. He froze and immediately turned to face me. He clearly hadn’t expected me to know about her. He turned to a nearby bench and sat down with his elbows on his knees.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t-“

“Please sit Josephine.” He cut me off.

I took a seat next to him, the conversation was no longer casual.

“That was a great shame. She was very sweet, and I became obsessed with her. We started meeting in corners of the house and kissing where no one could see us. The excitement was incredible. Our relationship became more intimate and it was clear that she was falling in love with me.”

He reached up and rubbed his forehead, the memory clearly pained him.

“I knew I had to end things, because I didn’t feel the same way. Even if I did, we couldn’t marry. But… she didn’t take it well. She went to my Father and asked for his permission. When I told him that I didn’t love her, he asked her to leave. That’s when the demands came. She wanted money, she wanted land, she wanted all sorts. She threatened to ruin our reputation, that she would claim ‘the young boy of the house had attacked her’. I couldn’t believe it.”

What an awful thing to do. I took his hand and squeezed it, causing him to look up at me. He was trembling with tears in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry Tristan, that’s awful. I’m so sorry I judged you.”

He shook his head and squeezed my hand.

“I understand. But I swear to you Josephine, it was all lies.”

I believed him.

“Father ultimately gave her some money, and I believe she took it and moved up north.”

I shook my head in disbelief. I felt so guilty for judging this poor man without getting to know him. He let go of my hand and wiped his eyes.

“Oh look at me, not very manly.” He laughed. “I’d ask you, but I’m sure you’d never get yourself into such mischief.”

I squirmed. “I wouldn’t say that.”

He looked at me slowly, his cheeky grin back in its right place.

“Oh? Miss Felton, do tell…”

I laughed. I could no longer look him in the eye.

“The stable boy.”

Upon hearing my secret he burst into loud rambunctious laughter, slapping his thigh.

“MISS FELTON!!”

“Tristan! It’s not funny.”

“No my dear.” He was still laughing. “It’s fucking hilarious!”

I shoved him, hard, a bit harder than I should have. He slipped off the bench and hit the ground with a loud thud. I rushed across the bench to see if he was alright, but before I could speak he cut me off.

“Was it on a hay bale?”

I scowled at him, and he lifted his hands in surrender.

“We didn’t have sex, we just-“

He cut me off again. “Did everything else.”

My face flushed red with embarrassment. He was still on the floor laughing.

“Did he smell like leather?”

“Tristan!”

He stood up and dusted himself off.

“Alright, alright. Thank you for sharing, your secret is safe we me.”

We smiled at each other, relaxed in each other’s company.

“I’m going to call you Joey.”

“Joey? As in Joseph?”

He chuckled. “No, as in baby kangaroo.”

“What’s a kangaroo?”

His eyes lit up with excitement.

“Have you read anything by Captain Cook? He’s been expanding the world map and discovering new animal species.”

“No, I haven’t. I’ve always wanted to travel, but I’ve never left England.”

Tristan was almost bouncing with excitement. He managed to compose himself long enough to offer me his hand.

“Come Joey, I’ll show you. We can go to the library and I’ll show you the world.”

I took his hand and we rushed inside. I think I just made a true friend.