02| HATEFUL CHOICES

I was with Lindi that night, she was so good at romance I never knew she was into women, I thought she despised the idea. Seriously, I thought she was straight.

   She walked me home and gave me a kiss on my lips outside my house.

" You call this a night?" She asked and winked.

" Yeah." I said and smiled.

" You know you're pretty inside, just thought I should tell you that little secret." She said and i giggled.

" See you later Ri,be careful." She said and walked away.

  Alright tonight's my best night. I dare not forget about it. I sighed and entered my house. Mom was still awake watching a damn boring program.

" Welcome home, honey " mom greeted.

" Hi Mom."

" How was the dance?" 

" It was fun, I truly had a lot of fun." I thought about Lindiwe and her hands all over my body. God, why did it feel so good. And I want to do it again.

" Wow. Did you get wooed by a boy?" Mom asked and grinned, blinking her eyelashes.

  God why is she concerned about my relationship life. I sighed and chuckled sadly.

" Not really." I said softly.

" Why?"

" Nothing. I mean, who cares? I went out to have fun and not to get wooed." I said removing my shoes.

" Oh yeah. I'm just surprised Riley, you're pretty but you don't have an admirer."

" Mom I do have an admirer. A lot of them. I'm not just ready to be in a relationship, it's not like I'm not active. I just wanna go to college." I said standing up.

" Alright , thank God you're active." 

   I smirked and walked out. Aria called, I dropped my shoes and closed the door before picking her calls.

" Where on Earth did you go? I was looking for you. Did you go out with a boy? Did you finally kiss someone?" Aria asked at once.

   Hell, yeah. But I can't tell her that.

" Shut the fuck up. Jesus Aria! I was not with someone, you were busy with your car owner boyfriend while Lindi accompanied me to a quiet place."

" Lindiwe?" 

" Yeah, what's up with that?" I asked and rolled my eyes.

" Nothing, I mean I'm just stoked. It's been a long time since we saw her and she never showed interest in you. But it's okay, thank God you're safe." She said and I smiled sitting down.

" Thanks. Where are you?"

" With Elvis, we booked a hotel, damn..." She said on the phone and giggled.

" Don't get pregnant because he owns a car."

" Shut up, I bought protection."

" God have mercy on you." I said and she chuckled.

" Amen."

" Make sure you pray before that sin, in case you die in your sleep." 

" What? No way Riley." She said and I laugh.

" Talk to you later, have fun with your car owner."

" Bye." Aria said and ended the call.

   I smiled and removed my clothes to shower, and Lindi sent me a text. I read it and smiled. I sent her a text and hurried to my bathroom.

    Few months later, I'm still filling out college applications. Mom wanted me to school in Johannesburg so I can be stuck here with her. Mom decided I assisted her in her coffee shop since I have nothing to do. Aria has been busy herself since matric. 

    I sighed continually as I attended to each boring customer. Someone entered, he was in his late twenties I guess. He smiled and looked at me.

" How may I help you please?" I asked, with my confident smile meant for the customers only. 

" Just a cup of coffee." He said and sat down.

" In a minute." I replied and went back to the counter to brew coffee for the customer.

  I made the coffee and gave it to him. He smiled and paid and eventually focused on his mobile phone. I went back to the counter and decided to get busy with my phone. I'm bored out of my mind. The customer whom I gave coffee to won't stop staring at me. 

  He got up and walked to my counter.

" Sorry I'm kinda new, I was wondering if you can direct me to an expensive and manageable hotel."

" I'm sorry but I'm a novice as long as hotels are concerned, but don't worry I'll phone a friend." I said, picking up my phone and i called Aria.

" Hey dummy." She said on the phone.

" I was wondering if you can tell me the name of your favorite hotel? I mean the expensive type." 

" No shit, you wanna go out with a guy? Or are you meeting someone?" Aria asked. I could hear her giggling.

" Come on, just be straight, a customer is in need of my service." I said and sighed deeply.

" Cool, give it to the customer." 

" What?"

" Shut up and give it to him or her, I don't want to corrupt your virgin mind." She said and I scoffed. She's crazy. I handed my phone to the customer.

" My friend wants to speak with you directly." I said.

" Alright." He collected it and began his conversation with Aria.

  Only God knows what Aria told him cause he burst out chuckling.

" God she will steal everybody's boyfriends one day." I said in my thoughts, cleaning the table.

" Thanks." He said and give me back my phone.

" Thanks ria, talk later." I said and ended the call before she bashed me about who the customer was. 

" You're cool now I guess?" 

" Thanks. I'm Dave, what's yours?"

" Riley." 

" Cool, say hi to your friend, she's pretty crazy." 

" Alright." 

  He smiled and walked out. What did she tell him? Boys freak, God! Mom walked up to me and tickled me.

" Mom." I said and laughed, trying to hold my breath.

" The dude was fascinating." Mom said and winked.

" Thanks, he's just a customer." I stared at my mom awkwardly. She desperately wanted me to get a boyfriend. It's creeping me out. 

" Really? You gave him your phone." 

" Talking to Ria." I said.

" Ohh, he was good looking with a very nice outfit." Mom said softly and winked.

" I don't know and I don't care." I said and mom scoffs.

" Alright just be careful when making choices, you'll be going to college soon. I want you to concentrate and get a good boyfriend." Mom said and I scoffed.

  God I don't need a boyfriend, and I'm so shy to say it out loud. I know my mom, she's strict. I smiled at mom and nodded.

" Good girl." Mom said and walked out.

  I rounded up my work in the coffee shop and Aria visited, she helped me arrange a few items and I left with her.

" That dude was wow, his voice was so amazing." She said on our way to God knows where.

" What's up with college?" I asked, trying to get away from the discussion.

" You're not comfortable with my topic but it's fine, my dad wants me to travel to Asia, how can I cope?"

" You love boys Aria, you'll definitely cope."

" Well yeah. But I heard most Asian men are gay. Especially Koreans." Aria said and I chuckled.

" Wait up, he's taking you to Korea? Like South or North Korea?" I asked.

" Yeah or Japan. I'm still fighting against the idea, I love Americans."

" Oops sorry." 

" Not important." Aria said and sighed.

" What's up with you?"

" Mom wants me to go to school here or possibly University of South Africa. Barely can tell why?"

" Sorry and your dad?"

" Loves the idea. He doesn't care much about my college choices; he wants me to get a good education, that's all." I said and exhaled loudly.

" Alright you're better than me." Aria said and I chuckled.

" So where are we going?"

" I don't know. Let's sit at the beach and make wishes." 

   We walked to the beach and stood there. It was so cold and pleasing.

" You're planning to go to college before you get a boyfriend?"

  God what's up with my relationship life? I kept quiet and refused to answer. I wish Lindi was here, she was all I wanted at that moment.

    Aria and I sat on the sand as we stared at the water. I saw Franklin with a group of boys from our school. Now I feel like jumping off a fucking bridge. Why's he everywhere?

   Franklin walked towards us, he smiled at me and sat next to me. Aria was just smiling endlessly, she winked at me and walked out. For some awkward reason she thought Franklin and I were gonna make a great couple. The idea makes me want to gouge out my eyes. 

" Riley."

" Be forward." I cut in.

" I want you to give me a chance."

" A chance for what? To get into my legs? You're crazy." I said and he chuckled.

" I'm not planning to get into your legs , I just want you."

" I'm out , we'll talk later." I said tapping him slightly.

  He held my hand and pulled me back.

" I won't give up on you." He whispered.

" Yeah I know, you'll win soon." I said and smack his hand away.

" Imbecile." I said in my thoughts and walked away.

  Aria was flirting with a guy. She smiled and asked me to wait. They exchanged numbers and I smirked.

" I hope you get over this attitude of yours." I said on our way out.

" And I pray you give Franklin a chance." 

" Chance indeed." I said and scoffed loudly.

   We were silent till we went our separate directions. Aria hugged me and left. I sighed and turned to my house. Mom was Already at home. She wasn't smiling when I walked into the living room. She was busy cooking when I entered. I greeted her and she refused to reply.

" Alright, that was sudden." I thought.

" Mom." I called.

  She stepped out of the kitchen and walked to where I was standing.

" Riley are you gay?" 

   Oh my God I felt my heart was tearing apart, I wasn't expecting that from my mom. I kept quiet and swallowed my saliva.

" Riley are you a lesbian?" Mom asked again.

  The least I could do was lie to my parents, I wasn't trained that way and I can't. I sighed and shrugged. I don't know what I am. I don't know what to label myself. The fact that I am attracted to Lindiwe and we kissed, does that even make me a lesbian? Why do I have to be labeled a particular sexuality?

" What happened to all the boys in town?" She fired.

" Mom it's not what you think."

" Yeah so what should I think? Making out with girls!" Mom yelled and I flinched. I remained quiet and I bit my lip. 

" You know I've always dream to walk you down the aisle with your husband standing by the alter waiting for you and not some stupid choices you made. I want you to bear kids, pretty kids and get to have sex with a man, not just a man but your husband. What were you thinking?" She yelled.

" I'm sorry." 

" Yeah every black kid is always sorry. I'm calling your dad." Mom said and proceeded to collect her phone.

" Mom please."

" Hello Davis." mom said on the phone.

" I'm good, Riley is fine too. She wants to come over to New Orleans. She's been giving me too much headache lately. I'm sending her abroad next week, so make sure you secure an admission for your daughter." Mom said.

" Thanks, bye." Mom said and ended the call.

" Mom, you can't do this to me."

" You're lucky I didn't get to tell your father you're a stupid lesbian." Mom said and entered the kitchen.

  New Orleans here I come.

God I hate my life.