Chapter 4

AKIRA’S POV—

I found myself standing in the kitchen, quietly washing the dishes while the soft clinking of porcelain echoed in the silence around me, and for the first time that night, I finally had a moment to breathe without the weight of everyone’s eyes on me, without having to pretend that everything between Sedrick and I was perfectly fine.

The warm water ran over my hands as I stared blankly at the plate I was holding, my mind drifting back to what had happened outside earlier, and no matter how much I tried to focus on something else, I couldn’t stop myself from remembering the way he suddenly pulled me into his arms, the way it felt so natural, so real, that for a brief moment, I had completely forgotten that everything between us was nothing but an act.

I let out a quiet sigh as I continued washing, gripping the edge of the sink a little tighter than I should have, because the truth was, I didn’t expect that someone had been watching us from inside the house, and I hated myself for even thinking that maybe—just maybe—he hugged me because he wanted to, not because he had to.

“Akira.”

I froze.

His voice.

Even without turning around, I already knew it was him.

I slowly continued rinsing the plate in my hands, pretending that I didn’t hear him at first, as if ignoring him would somehow protect me from the emotions that were starting to build up again inside my chest.

But then I heard his footsteps getting closer, steady and unhurried, until I could feel his presence right behind me, and suddenly, the quiet kitchen felt suffocating.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said calmly.

I swallowed before finally speaking, keeping my eyes fixed on the sink.

“It’s fine,” I replied softly, trying to sound as normal as possible, “I just wanted to help.”

There was a brief silence after that, the kind that felt heavier than words, and I could feel his gaze on me, as if he was waiting for something—though I didn’t know what.

I picked up another plate, focusing on the repetitive motion of washing, rinsing, and placing it aside, because it was easier than facing him, easier than asking the question that had been lingering in my mind since earlier.

But in the end, I couldn’t stop myself.

“About earlier…” I started, my voice barely above a whisper.

I paused for a moment, gathering the courage to continue, even though I already knew I might regret it.

“When you hugged me…”

My hands slowed down, the water continuing to run as my heart began to beat faster.

“…I didn’t know someone was watching us,” I admitted quietly, my voice trembling just enough to betray me, “I thought… you hugged me because you wanted to.”

The moment the words left my lips, I wished I could take them back.

The silence that followed felt endless.

I finally turned off the faucet and slowly faced him, my hands still slightly wet as I held onto the edge of the sink, and when our eyes met, I felt that familiar tightness in my chest all over again.

Sedrick was standing there, his expression unreadable as always, but there was something different in his eyes—something I couldn’t quite understand.

“You’re overthinking it again,” he said after a moment, his voice low and steady.

I forced a small smile, even though it didn’t reach my eyes.

“Yeah… I guess I am,” I replied softly, even though deep inside, I knew that wasn’t the whole truth.

He took a step closer, and for a second, I thought he was going to say something more, something that might actually explain what I felt earlier, but instead, he simply reached past me to turn off the still-dripping faucet completely, his arm brushing lightly against mine.

That small, almost insignificant contact made my breath hitch.

“Just remember why we’re doing this,” he continued, his tone returning to that familiar coldness, “everything tonight is for your family.”

I nodded slowly, lowering my gaze.

“I know.”

Of course I knew.

That’s why it hurt.

Because no matter how real everything felt, no matter how gentle he seemed in front of them, it was all just a lie we had agreed to maintain.

I picked up the towel beside the sink and began drying my hands, trying to ignore the heaviness settling inside my chest, but before I could move away, I suddenly felt his hand wrap around my wrist.

I froze again.

“Sedrick…?”

His grip wasn’t tight, but it was firm enough to stop me from walking away, and when I looked up at him, I saw that same unreadable expression on his face, though his eyes seemed to hold something deeper, something he wasn’t saying out loud.

“For tonight,” he said quietly, “don’t make that kind of expression in front of them.”

I blinked in confusion.

“What expression?”

“That one,” he replied, his gaze fixed on mine, “like you’re about to cry.”

My breath caught.

I didn’t even realize I looked like that.

“I’m not—” I tried to deny it, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Because he was right.

I took a small step back, gently pulling my wrist away from his grasp.

“I’ll be fine,” I said, forcing a more composed tone this time, “I won’t ruin anything.”

For a moment, he didn’t respond.

He just stood there, looking at me as if he wanted to say something more, but in the end, he simply turned away.

“Good,” he muttered.

And just like that, the distance between us returned.

I watched him walk out of the kitchen without another word, and once he was gone, I let out a shaky breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.

The silence came back, but this time, it felt heavier.

I leaned against the counter, closing my eyes for a moment as I tried to steady myself, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t stop my thoughts from going back to him—to the way he held me earlier, to the way he looked at me just now, and to the way he always managed to confuse me without even trying.

“I really am stupid…” I whispered to myself with a bitter smile.

Because despite everything—despite the cold words, the distance, the constant reminders that I meant nothing to him—I still found myself hoping.

Hoping that one day, the way he looked at me wouldn’t just be part of an act.

Hoping that one day, the way he held me wouldn’t be because someone was watching, Hoping that one da—He would actually mean it.

I straightened myself after a moment, taking one last deep breath before stepping out of the kitchen, because no matter what I felt, I knew I had to go back and continue pretending, just like he said.

But as I walked back toward the dining room, I couldn’t ignore the quiet ache in my chest—because even if everything tonight was just an act my feelings were never part of it.

When I stepped back into the dining room, the warmth of laughter and soft conversations immediately filled my ears, and just like that, it felt as if nothing had happened in the kitchen, as if the quiet moment I shared with Sedrick never existed at all, because the moment I saw him again, he was already seated beside my grandfather, calmly engaging in a conversation as though he had always been this composed, this attentive, this… perfect.

For a second, I just stood there, watching him from a distance, and I couldn’t help but feel that familiar tightness in my chest, because no matter how many times I reminded myself that everything he did tonight was just part of an act, I still couldn’t stop the small, foolish part of me that kept hoping there was something real hidden beneath all of it.

“Akira, dear, come sit,” Grandma called warmly, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I immediately forced a smile before walking toward them, carefully taking the seat beside Sedrick as if I hadn’t just been standing alone in the kitchen, questioning everything about us.

The moment I sat down, I felt his presence again—close, steady, and impossible to ignore—and before I could even settle properly, he reached out to adjust the chair slightly for me, a small gesture that shouldn’t have meant anything, yet somehow made my heart react in ways I didn’t understand anymore.

“Careful,” he said softly, just loud enough for me to hear, and I froze for a brief moment, glancing at him in surprise, because his tone carried that same unfamiliar gentleness he had used earlier, the kind that always caught me off guard.

“Thank you,” I replied quietly, lowering my gaze to avoid overthinking it again, even though I knew it was already too late for that.

Dinner continued with light conversations, mostly led by my grandparents who seemed eager to catch up on everything they had missed, and as expected, most of their questions revolved around our married life, questions that Sedrick answered smoothly and effortlessly, as if he had rehearsed every single detail beforehand.

“There hasn’t been any problem at all,” he said with a small smile, his voice calm and reassuring as he glanced at me for a split second, “Akira has been doing well.”

I felt my fingers tighten slightly around my fork, but I still nodded along, forcing myself to match his words with a gentle smile, even though deep inside, I felt like I was slowly being suffocated by the lies we were feeding everyone.

“And Sedrick takes very good care of me,” I added softly, the words tasting bitter as they left my lips, because even though I said them without hesitation, I wasn’t sure anymore if I was convincing them… or just trying to convince myself, Grandma beamed at us, clearly pleased.

“That’s all we could ever wish for,” she said warmly, reaching over to pat my hand, “seeing you both like this makes us so happy.”

I nodded again, unable to say anything more, because if I did, I was afraid my voice might break, and the last thing I wanted was for them to notice something was wrong.

But then, in the middle of everything, I felt it again—his hand.

Sedrick’s fingers gently brushed against mine under the table before slowly intertwining with them, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and for a moment, I completely forgot how to breathe.

My eyes widened slightly, and I instinctively looked at him, but he didn’t look back at me, his attention still focused on the conversation as if nothing unusual was happening, as if he hadn’t just done something that sent my heart into complete chaos.

I didn’t pull my hand away.

I couldn’t.

Because despite knowing the reason behind it, despite reminding myself over and over again that this was just part of the act, I still found myself holding onto that moment, letting my fingers stay intertwined with his as if it meant something more than it actually did.

And maybe that was my mistake.

Maybe that was where I always went wrong.

Because every small gesture, every soft word, every fleeting moment of warmth—

I held onto all of it like it was real.

Like it mattered.

Like it meant something.

“Akira?”

I blinked, realizing I had been lost in my thoughts again.

“Yes, Grandpa?” I responded quickly, trying to compose myself.

“You seem quiet tonight,” he said with a gentle smile, “are you feeling alright?”

Before I could even answer, I felt Sedrick’s grip on my hand tighten slightly, almost as if reminding me to stay in character.

“She’s just tired,” he answered smoothly on my behalf, finally turning his gaze toward me, “we’ve both had a long day.”

I looked at him, and for a brief moment, our eyes met, and I couldn’t explain why, but there was something in that look that made my chest ache even more.

“I’m fine,” I added softly, nodding to reassure them, “just a little tired.”

“Then you should both rest after this,” Grandma said kindly, “no need to stay too long.”

I smiled and nodded again, grateful for the suggestion, even though I knew that resting was the last thing my mind would allow me to do after everything that had happened tonight.

As the dinner slowly came to an end, the atmosphere remained warm and light, filled with laughter and shared stories, and for everyone else, it probably looked like a perfect family gathering, one where love and happiness were present in every corner.

But for me…

It felt like standing in the middle of something beautiful that I wasn’t truly a part of.

Because no matter how convincing our act was, no matter how real everything seemed to everyone else—

I knew the truth.

And the truth was…

The man holding my hand so gently under the table was the same man who once told me he would never accept me as his wife.

And yet, despite knowing that…

I still couldn’t find the strength to let go.

TO BE CONTINUE..