Chapter 9

I stared at Wilson as if the world had suddenly tilted.

The noise of the restaurant faded again, the chatter of guests and clinking of glasses dissolving into the background once again.

The whole world stood at a stand still just for us.

 The only thing I  could hear was Wilson’s breathing… it was uneven, desperate, begging 

“I love you.”

The words hung between us 

My  throat tightened.

For months I had tried to bury everything connected to Vegas.

Russell.

Wilson.

Them……

The nights we spent tangled together in peace, the quiet mornings where none of us  wanted to be the first to leave the bed.

I had convinced myself that it was nothing more than a beautiful illusion…..

A beautiful dream

A dream that had ended the moment I stepped out of the hotel and on the plane back to Alabama.

And yet here Wilson was.

Standing in front of me

Looking at me the same way he had looked at me  the first night we met. He looked at me like I was the brightest thing in the room.

“You… what?” I  asked my voice hoarse

Wilson stepped closer, his hands trembling slightly he repeated

“I said I love you.”

I  shook my head slowly, disbelief written all over my face.

“You love Russell. I know that you do.”

“I do.”

“And you’re with him, I mean you left me on that bed to be with him.”

“Yes and Ollie I am so very sorry.”

I laughed softly

“Then why are you here?”

Wilson’s voice cracked and shook as he tried again.

“Because I should have said it months ago.”

My  chest tightened painfully.

“ I should have said it...That night…” Wilson continued quietly. “The night before you left. When you said you loved us.”

I froze.

I didn't think he heard…..I thought only Russell heard  

“Russell and I didn’t know how to react,” Wilson admitted.

“You dropped that on us and I was still in lust space and I didn't know how to broach the topic…… Ollie I was prepared to talk to you the next morning but you were gone.”

“I knew it,” I muttered.

Wilson frowned.

“Knew what?”

“That I messed everything up.”

Wilson shook his head immediately.

“No, Ollie. That’s not what happened.”

I  looked away, staring intently at the floor.

“Russell looked at me like I had ruined everything.”

Wilson sighed softly.

“Russell looked at you like that because he was scared.”

I  blinked and looked up.

“Scared?”

Wilson nodded.

“You weren’t supposed to matter that much. Ollie…”

Those words stung more than expected.

Wilson saw the hurt flash across his face and hurried to explain.

“Not like that,” he said quickly. “What I mean is… when we first started seeing you, we thought it would just be fun. Something temporary. Like before, like our past flings.”

I  swallowed.

“But you changed things.”

“How?”

Wilson smiled faintly.

“You made it real.”

My  heart pounded loudly in my chest. It was going wild 

“You got under our skin,” Wilson continued. “You weren’t just someone we shared a bed with.”

“You became part of us. Ollie it was like a dream come through”

Oliver’s voice dropped.

“Then why did you leave that night?” I asked pleadingly 

Wilson ran a hand through his messy red hair.

“Because Russell panicked.”

I stiffened.

“He felt you said you loved only him not both of us, he panicked because he wanted to make sure I would be part of the equation .”

Wilson let out a bitter laugh.

“I spent the night convincing him you loved me too.”

“You didn’t try to stop me from leaving,” I whispered.

Wilson’s shoulders sagged.

“I woke up the next morning Ollie you were gone I followed to the airport but your plane had taken off.”

I closed my eyes briefly.

“For six months why didn't you try to contact me?”

Wilson looked like he had been struck.

“I called you every week.”

I  head snapped up.

“What?”

“I called your father,” Wilson said. “Every week.”

My stomach twisted.

“My father never told me.”

Wilson looked surprised.

“He stopped answering after a while.”

Of course my  father would do that.

Trying to protect me  from something he thought might hurt me again.

Wilson stepped closer cautiously.

“I tried, Ollie.”

I studied him carefully.

“You should have come sooner.”

Wilson nodded.

“I know.”

We stood in silence for a moment.

Then I asked 

“And Russell?”

Wilson hesitated.

“What about him?” I asked 

Wilson sighed heavily.

“He’s outside.”

“What? What is he doing there?” I asked again

Wilson gestured toward the front entrance of the restaurant.

“He refused to come in.”

“Why?”

Wilson smiled sadly.

“He said if you saw him first, you might run.”

I puffed and  huffed a breath of disbelief.

“That’s ridiculous.”

Wilson tilted his head slightly.

“Is it?

Maybe Wilson wasn’t wrong.

After everything that had happened…

Seeing Russell again might have been too much.

“He’s been miserable since you left you know?”

I softly frowned.

“You said that before.”

“I meant it.”

Wilson’s voice softened.

“Russell doesn’t show emotions easily and...You know that, but when you left? I don't know… I've never seen him like that”

“Like what” I asked

“He barely sleeps.”

“Works too much.”

“Snaps at staff.”

Wilson smiled faintly.

“And that’s saying something because Russell never snaps at anyone.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” I asked my voice raspy 

Wilson looked me straight in the eyes.

“Because you deserve to know the truth.”

“And what is this truth I should know” I asked my voice low

Wilson took a deep breath before he continued

“Russell loves you too.”

I froze. For a long moment I couldn't couldn’t even breathe.

“That’s… not funny…. Dont make jokes like that.”

Wilson didn’t smile.

“I’m not joking Ollie he does.”

I knew that already but hearing it from his…. boyfriend? Man?

Hearing it from Wilson was different 

“So… what do you want, Ollie?”

Wilson looked at me carefully 

“What do you mean?”

Wilson’s eyes were hopeful but cautious and hesitant.

“If Russell walks in that door right now…….. Oliver what would you do?”

I couldn't and didn’t answer immediately.

I thought about the past six months the loneliness, worry, heartbreak, sadness…… everything kept playing in my mind

“I don’t know.” I finally said 

 He nodded.

“That’s fair.”

“Is he really outside?” I asked Wilson as he followed my gaze outside 

“Yeah Ollie he is”

He replied smiling 

“God!!!!” I whispered under my breath

“Oliver look at me …… You don’t have to talk to him tonight.” Wilson whispered holding my jaw to look at him 

“I want to….. he came all the way here…”

“…the least I can do is hear what he has to say.”

I said to Wilson somewhat hesitant

“Come on then Ollie”

I followed Wilson towards the  exit….Russell 

Every step toward the door made my heart pound harder.

Six months.

Six months of unanswered questions.

As we reached the entrance, Wilson pushed the door open.

Cool evening air rushed inside.

And there, standing near the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets, was Russell… My Russell.

He looked exactly the same and at the same time completely different.

His blond  hair was slightly longer.

His posture more tense.

But the moment his green eyes lifted and locked with mine…

Something raw and vulnerable flashed across his face.

Neither of us moved, we stood there memorizing each other's features 

Then Russell spoke quietly.

“Oliver.”

“Hi, Russell.” I said my voice quaking