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CHAPTER 09
I do not know how to show myself to them anymore. Shame would not leave my system and I also blame myself for being this. Even if I want to defend myself that I am a good woman, the opposite always shows at me.
Yes, I did not wished to live. They just made me to suffer.
But they also suffers because of me.
Sometimes, I also think that what if I did not born? Will my family would not suffer? They are surely happily living without me. Just like what mom has said, she told me earlier that they were already living happy and peaceful as I left. It will really be a good thing so not show myself because I always brings jinx to everyone.
And that's when I get it.
That is why I have Jinx because fate want to make me realize that I have the bad luck with me. And will accompany me with everything.
Fuck this life.
I covered my whole face with the white pillow and cried there out loud. I am here inside Sew's unit because I do no
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I don't know what did just happened. But I was shocked because I continued living. I could not say that I am happy, but at least, I went on in life. I still survived with the cruel world I belong.I am still not fine because I was suffering depression and anxiety. It was so hard to the point that I want to die already, because my mind and heart could not take the pain anymore. It was so fucking hard.But there is really someone who would not leave you."Astra, eat this." I pursed my lips when Jinx sat beside me. I was just lying on my bed and was staring at the blank ceiling. He attached his palm on my forehead to check my temperature and shook his head after feeling how hot I am. "Take meds later, eat this first."I nodded my head even if I struggled doing it. He guided me get up and leaned against the headboard of the bed with pillow against my back and the wood. I am not hungry, but I have to eat something. I do not want to get sick more be
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Wretched Self CHAPTER 17
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