偽りの愛、死後に明かれる

It's not that I hate moving, it's just how many times I moved already, I never had a stable house. My parent gave me away at birth, they simply didn't bother with me, simply left me at the doorstep of a church.

From what I found out they weren't even religious people, they just didn't want a child. I grew up in foster homes, I have so many stories to tell about these houses that are just ridiculous.

The name is Alex, Alexander Smith, or so I'm called, I'm a kid of the system, another burden on the American system. Today is the day that I was expecting to come, although it came a little too late, I'm moving homes again, the reason, my foster dad had beat me black and blue. Yeah, that's not fun at all, I'm okay now, the bruises have faded away, it's just in my nightmares and head that hurt, but I'm okay I'm always okay, even when I'm not.

I sat outside waiting for Thereza my caseworker to come and get me yet again, she's not a mother Thereza but she's not bad. She'll even buy me Macdonalds on our way to my newest home. I'm sixteen now, almost seventeen, one and a half year and I'll be free, I still have one year to spend in high school and it'll be over.

From my moving around I learned how to defend myself, I'm not someone to take hits, believe I'll fight back, true I'm underweight and a bit on the short side but I will fight. I lose most times but it's the idea that counts, my new home were in another part of the country, I'm being sent to a more rich area.

I did get my chicken nuggets on the way and even took a nap before we made it to the house, it wasn't your usual foster house, it was more like a group home for kids that got too old to be adopted, kids like me.

I got out of the car and got my duffle bag, it got all my belonging, Thereza had a talk with the house owner and gave them a briefing about me and my situation. We all moved to MR. and Mrs. William's office to have a brief talking.

"Here's the thing Alex you are smart," Thereza says and I nod.

I know I'm smart I always made sure to pay attention in classes so I can get a better future, she kept going about public schools and whatnot.

"This school is different Alex, it's expensive too," Thereza says.

"You will be in on a scholarship, the principal thinks you've got what it takes to be in," Thereza says.

"Fine" I reply, what they expect from me? A hug?

"You'll start school tomorrow, good luck Alexander," Thereza says before leaving.

I had to share a room with two other boys, it's to be expected in foster homes, no one gets their own room, no privacy, just the usual.

Dinner was okay, I got managed to get some food, if you weren't there first then you can sleep hungry, it's the unspoken rule of food around here.

It was all okay and easygoing until later that evening Mr. and Mrs. Williams went up to their room for some private time and one of the older kids wanted to show me who's the boss here.

"You're in my seat," The guy says, he's twice my size, his nose had been broken one too many time.

"I don't think your name on it," I say with sass, I don't give up, not easily.

"Move" He sneers at me but I stay put.

We shared a look between us, his brown eyes into my green ones, I was so winning the staring contest until he landed the first hit, straight on the jaw.

I fell backward with the seat, I jumped up and went to hit back, damn me being short, I could only reach his shoulder, my fist made contact with his sternum and it must hurt him more than it hurt me, right?

Before he had time for redemption Mr. Williams was there to separate us, we were both sent to bed early that night. I think I might have broken my fingers but I'll survive.

I took a quick cold shower and got into my pajamas, it's cold around here, they don't bother turning on the heat. I moved to under the blankets but they weren't enough to keep me warm, I curled on my self like a cat trying to hold on to any kind of warmth.

 Sleeping in a new bed is always hard on me, I never fall asleep, I never enjoy the first night in a new home that's only temporary, again.

I only slept for about an hour, maybe less, my eyes were fully red, I had bags under my eyes, and the hit on my jaw was bruising blue, great.

This new school got a uniform, well it saves me time to choose clothes between my three Tshirt and two hoodies. The uniform is simple, khaki pants, white shirts, and a black sweater with the school logo stitched on it. At least the uniform offer some warmth, it wasn't even that cold, but my body wasn't made to be cold-proof.

I wasn't fast enough for breakfast today and it's okay, I had to catch the bus to my new school, it looked nothing like my old public schools. Everyone around here had new cars, everyone seemed to come from some kind of a rich family.

Walking in I knew I don't belong here, even if I'm wearing the same uniform as everyone else I knew I looked different.