My body freezes as I watch him watch me. Emma is laughing behind him. I think I hear her call my name and waves at me. I kinda do the same but Simon doesn't pay attention because he's way too focused on me. It's not right. He should be looking at Emma not at me. Because the way his gaze fixed is always the way I want Cooper to do. Like I think Simon wants to run up to me and give me a tight longing hug or maybe a kiss. I shouldn't be thinking any of this or even him. It's wrong. So wrong.I take a deep deep breathe and begin making my way upstairs to where Cooper always stays. He's gone in his first bevause he's mad. He's mad at me for not telling him that I'm going to New York. It was just one week but I feel like I did a crime here. I needed to take care of my daughter. Every time I remember her sweet smile I just feel relieved. I want to look back at Simon to see if he's still watching me but I'm scared I won't be happy to see what he will be doing with Emma in that pool. So I st

So the first night. The first night has to be the one to set the excitement up to the highest level where we couldn't reach it. At this moment, everyone is busy. John is cooking the barbecue with a pretty girl in white shorts, named, Anastasia. Cooper and Simon are cooking something else in the kitchen but mostly with the drinks they keep laughing at. I don't I would be drinking tonight. It's out of my plan. While me, I just watch everyone. I hope I could do something asie from shuffling through good indie music. Emma and the other guy that just arrive set fire set in the middle of the sand. The sky is full of starts thanti wish I could kiss it long. Everything I see is full of magic now. But across twenty feet away, is the sea. Its waves crashing in the dark is just there fully alive like if it's not there, this wouldn't be possible at all. So when everyone is done with their tasks. We west. There's a long table in the middle, just a few feet away from the fire and we'd taken out

You know you've always have something else to say but you run from your heart because it is deceiving. But also I know Emma doesn't deserve it. We are together. We are lobe each other not in way Era could. There is only friendship that we have. It's always going to be that with Era and I know she has seen us that way too. If anyone would ask if I'm serious with Emma, I want to. But I have to know if she's going to stay. If it's true what John told about living in LA for good. After we eat all dinner. Everyone is tired from the surfing earlier. Most of the time, Emma and Cooper is cuddling in the living room. She seems happy. That's best for her. I never look at her anymore like I used to. I don't want to be a coward having Emma and flirting with Era at the same time. What I was doing in the kitchen earlier, I shouldn't have done it. From the moment we were interrupted, I knew it was wrong that why I needed to kiss Emma so I can know that I still feel the same for her. Only for her.

The ceiling reminds me of the ceiling in Anne's apartment—white and plain like pure emptiness—I have my own room there. Me and Sophie would be running around in our room but only that I would her because she couldn't walk yet. I miss her so much. So damn much. Walking up to the thoughts of her starters my heart knowing I was able to forget my responsibility of me taking care of her instead of my best friend. It's my job but I'm here having a broken heart because I was so willing in giving my heart and trust to someone who is still in love with his ex. Sophie wouldn't be happy if she finds this out when she grow enough to understand things. Anne trusted me that me that I am here to fix what I left broken with Simon but last night, I didn't think I fixed it. I was confessing. Confessing. And he is leaving. It felt like a twice stab on my heart but I didn't show it him. I couldn't find the strength to even get the tears out. I was suddenly broken and empty. He's going to be living wit

I finally said it. There's no turning back now. It's out in the open and I know how much shocking it is to him. Simon doesn't blink for next the ten seconds, he just stares at the wide open space in front of us. When he doesn't say anything yet, I think he wants me to say something more about it like convince him that it's true and this isnt a game I am playing. I gather the thoughts I need to say but I know somehow some of them will fail to come out. “Her name is Sophie. Two years ago, when I left Holy Cross, I was pregnant and Brad never knew about her.” I take a breath again. Simon finally looks at me again. “What do you mean he didn't know?” He sounds angry but keeping home of himself. I stutter and want to go on without him blowing this up. “We broken up before I even knew. Remember the night found me with my brine bike? That was night I found out I was pregnant.” I sigh deeply remembering that night. It was one of the fearful stare that I ever been. I was full of anxiety. T