Loving you Again のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 81 - チャプター 90

ESTHER'S POVSo, if you survive the typhoon, earthquake, and war, how will you get back on track? Will you truly start over, or do nothing? I've been in therapy and rested many times, and now I'm back to work. I've never told anyone, but since I woke up, I've been feeling terribly afraid; sometimes I can't feel my arms or my hands; I just feel better when Amber is with me.Standing in front of the ER, I attempt to relax and stretch my arms.When I open the door, I see how busy everyone is already; there are a lot of patients occupying all of the beds, and I know I hear them shouting my name, but I feel like I'm floating and can't move; I'm just gazing at them, and even though I want to go towards the patient, my legs feel numb."Love...are you okay?"Amber said, who had just appeared behind my back."Y-Yeah...I think I simply miss being here... Hmm, Minerva, please hand me the chart,"I said, and Minerva handed me the chart and walked up to the patient in bed 5."I am Dr. Esther, so,

ESTHER'S POVWhen I was young, my mother used to let me do things on my own. At first, I thought she was just letting me do what I wanted, regardless of whether it was bad or good. Still, while I am doing it and things are not so good, I seek help, and that is the part where I realized that letting me do things alone is a test of decision-making for me. I always ask for help, but she usually returns the question to me, and then I decide what should do.Sometimes I make the right decision, but most of the time, I don't, and I fail. I waited for her to correct me, but she never did, and she never even brought up any of those failed situations as a topic. There is a time when she even pushes me to my limit until I make up my mind about the idea or decision.For almost 13 years in this career, I have always used that part, I decide on my own, I decide what should do, and even if I failed, I just don't usually bring up that topic and just move on!Sitting here at my table, I almost drink a

ESTHER'S POVAs I open my eyes, I can't remember what the last thing I did, even though my head hurts so much right now. I attempt to rise, but I simply fall off the floor, and I know something is wrong with me!When I'm going to rise from the floor, I see Mom at the door, crossed arms."Hi, Mom! How is your day?""It is just 6 a.m., sweetheart. How about you? How was your night?"Damn! I stopped when I heard that! She's right; how was my night? I am trying to think what I did last night, I mean I was always like this for almost one week, bar hopping and drinking all night, I don't even remember how I went home, I was just wanted to be alone and drink all night after shift, since I found out that all along, Amber lie to me, I was prepared to be hated by her, every day I wish her memory comes back, I always aim for that so we can all start anew, I don't mind if she hated me because I'm just being honest with myself; I can explain things to her and accept whatever choice she makes, but

ESTHER'S POVStarting anew seems good, and Amber says we'll solve everything. I feel it's weird right now that we're both sitting on her balcony, sipping beer and doing what we used to.“It seems like home to be with you again.”Amber remarked, glancing at me and clutching her drink.“Well, right now, I can't believe you're already the Amber I knew before.”“Why did you choose not to tell me everything? Of course, I know it's not a lie, but you knew I'd be upset with you, particularly given my last recollection of you. Why?”“Hmm, I could already tell you were fatigued from everyone attempting to control your life. They continue to define your life in a manner that favours them. I cannot be the same. I'd rather face your rage than become like them. I want you to realize your true self. I see and understand. Hmm, I apologize if I did not tell you the truth immediately. Yes, Felisa suggested I take my time informing you. She assumed you had just awoken from a coma, so we couldn't push y

ESTHER'S POV“Hello Christine.”“Hello, twice daily? Can I… assist you?”“Hmmm, I believe you can; a lot is going on that I don't comprehend.”“So, what is it? How may I be of help?”“Maybe you could tell me how you became a mother at such a young age.”“T-That is quite personal.”“Right! I know, I'm sorry, but you see, I simply need to comprehend some kind of family situation right now.”I stated, and she simply got out of bed and stood by the window.She was silent at first, looking outside before beginning to speak.“I... I was a high school student, and when I returned home, there were these individuals claiming my mother as their successor. However, she is terminally ill. I'm just living with my mother, so when she dies, I'll have to take over her obligations.”What precisely is that obligation?”"Getting married to that specific family my mother's parents owe, at 15, I was engaged, and then...the following year I married a 45-year-old man...hmmm sob*sob*hmmm...he has to do what