All Chapters of Loving you Again: Chapter 51 - Chapter 60

ESTHER'S POVWhen people say that changes are risky because you are afraid of disrupting what you have used to do, see, or feel, opening my eyes in a very different mood, damn, I feel happy, I feel not the person I used to be, after that night with Amber, when we became open and I followed Vannie's advice, I just let what would happen and just see the outcome, and here I am, smiling like an idiot!Everything I have right now with Amber, I never had or felt before, this is really different, our initial time before our relationship happens is just so fast, we just go with what we think of we never try to think first, we just had a small talk and then we are good until our relationship sucks, I never knew the real Amber within, she never knew me as well within, and now things are just...things seem to be in process...it isn't so fast but we talk a lot...we do arguments, I'm not sure if this is for the better or not, but I enjoy the flow... I kind of like the changes."Earth to Esther!!!"

ESTHER'S POV"So, what do you think Amber would like for dinner?""Hmmm, she is a better cook than I am, well, I guess whatever you cook will do.""Why does it seem like you act distant from her in some way...you are friends, there is no need for boundaries, right?""I am not acting distant, Mom...I am just trying to be cool with her, I mean, she is my boss.""Oh god, you know how much I know you, sweetie, you like her... a lot...now tell me if I am wrong"And now I am stop with that thought, the word ‘like’ is not the issue now, she is wearing the face and body of the person I am in love with, but she is not her...she is way different, so I am not sure if I like her, maybe, within me I am, but I cannot go far with this, she never mention to me that we can go far either..."I like her for who she is, as friends, she is a nice mom, but if you are asking about the other things, I don't think she is really what she tries to show me.”"And how would you know that, you both don't even get t

ESTHER'S POVShoulder trembling as I walk away from Amber after the surgery I performed on Larry, that conversation with her surely breaks my heart right now; how can I fight when I know I am no longer what she prefers? I want to shout and pull her closer to me to tell her I am the person she loved, the one she should choose...As I proceed to my office, I shut the door and sit on the floor.Hmmm sob*sob*hmmm... I shouldn't have let myself go in the first place, and I shouldn't have expected anything from her... Hmmm, sob*sob* Hmmm...Amber...I am here... Hmmm, I am simply here, love...please come back to me... I'm really sorry about everything... Hmmm, sob*sob* hmmm...Crying my heart out, I can't do anything right now; I want to go home...hmmm, I don't want to be here anymore... Every time things become bad, Amber is always there for me...she loves me...she makes me believe that I am the one she loves...so why? Why do I have to go through this torture again? I just escaped...hmmm...wh

AMBER'S POVOpening my eyes...my head hurts...bottles of beer are all over my pad, damn! I'm not sure, but all I want is to drown myself in alcohol. After that encounter with Esther, I realized I shouldn't be feeling that way. I shouldn't be like this, but I couldn't stop myself last night. I passed a store on my way home and went straight to get those bottles of beer.It has been a long night for me. I believe I sobbed a lot last night because my eyes are so swollen right now; I tried several times to phone Esther at the time, but couldn't bring myself to. I simply can't.Washing my face won't help; my eyes are still bulging as they are. I despise the cold washing my face and putting ice on my eyes, but I guess I have no alternative!While doing these ice things, my mobile rings, and I quickly check to see if it is the person I am expecting to speak with, but it is not; it is Chief Gilbert."Yes?""Just woke up?""Kind of why?""I hope you're doing well now. You see, drinking alone mi

AMBER'S POVWhen we cook, we combine all of the elements to create a single recipe, put it all together, and know exactly how it will taste. We just mixed everything... In human feelings and emotions, we can't just mix everything; we can't do both, we can never do much, and we tend to erupt internally...and that is exactly what happens to me when I deal with Esther... I don't mean it, and I don't intend to, but...I think I simply hate her...But I need to understand her...try to support her, be a friend to her even if she doesn't need it anymore, and most importantly, I just fucking miss her!Pulling her inside the stock room makes no sense to me at first, but kissing her brings me back to reality, and I realize I have to do something... I need to fix myself, and I also need to comprehend my inner self...walking out of the stock room, I can't believe I did it again.Doing things I didn't intend to do makes me feel better, and touching her again relaxes me.I was just exhaling and headin