Semua Bab Teach me to sin (Sins of Heldon): Bab 41 - Bab 50

I lay my head on his thighs and shut my eyes as I felt his fingers run through my hair. I had missed this; Little, precious moments with him that felt so welcoming, so safe.Alex had jumped on me the minute that Nico had let me into the dorm. I had been with anyone that looked that happy to be around me. He was practically glowing and it made me feel really guilty for lying to him the way that I did.Nico had left to go see someone; or at least that's what he said but I knew that he just wanted to give us some privacy and I really appreciated that. I missed Alex and more than anything I was glad to have some alone time with him, far from the troubles of my life and my family.It had been a lot these past few days. My grandmother had convinced to come back to the family mansion and see if I could find common ground with my father but that proved to be a waste of time after we got into our fifth official fight since his return.He had lost his temper when I wouldn't budge about my sexua

"I'm just saying that it would be a good idea if we could meet this person and just get to know them"My grandmother had tried to plead her case for the third time that week. She had been among the first people in the family to recover from the news that I was actually gay and now she wanted me to introduce my boyfriend to the family.It was such an unexpected request and I was worried that it may backfire and not have the intended result that she hoped for."Grandma, I am not inviting Alex over for dinner""And why not?""Because, Paul""You shouldn't call your father by his first name, Collin that is disrespectful"I let out a frustrated sigh."Please, Grandma, don't start""You know that I love you and you know that your family loves you regardless of who you choose to fuck""Grandma"I laughed since the first time that we began this conversation. The last time that I had heard her use a vulgar word, I was fourteen and suspended for breaking the principal's windshield."What? I am

"You'll get over her eventually, bro,'' the words of my older cousin replayed in my head as I sat alone at a coffee shop within campus, "You just gotta give it time. Getting over things like this take time"It didn't feel like I was ever going to get over Rita or this throbbing pain in my chest that had, though reduced in intensity had not vanished.I was hurt and I missed the one person that was causing me pain.I had summoned up the courage to delete the photos of her that I had in my head but I didn't know an app that would help delete the memories that we shared.Most times, my mind would replay the scene where I saw her alight from the Rolls Royce that Friday night with a tall, handsome stranger in a suit.I should have known then that I had lost her and it was game over for me. I think I may have known that deep down but was too scared to admit the truth to myself. When I heard that she was in a relationship I lost it. I was angry at her, at everything and especially at myself

"...Rita was your friend before anything else that came after and I think that it would be nice if you guys could get back to that but move at your own pace. There's no rush"I thought back to the things that Hayley had said to me the night before when we walked together. I had not really expected her to push for a reconciliation after what I had told her.I couldn't think of many girls that would have done that but I guess that Hayley was just a different kind of woman. Even as I walked to the front door of Rita's dorm, I thought of Hayley and the kiss.She had kissed me.I had always wanted to share a kiss with Hayley but was always held back because I was scared that I was unconsciously looking for someone to distract me from the way that I was feeling about Rita and I suppose that at first, I was.Things were different now. Along the line and between the times that I spent with her, I had begun to see Hayley as less of a distraction and more of a welcome change of perspective.And

"That will be all for today. Class dismissed"I got off my seat and half jogged to the exit of history class and brought out my phone. Nico didn't offer history and that meant that he was not with me but I had to see him and Rita immediatly.I was still confused and shocked at Julius approaching me and the fact that I had hit him. I had never hit anyone before and I did not usually condone violence but I was so fucking angry and disgusted.After everything that he put me through, what he had said to me, to others about me. He had the nerve to corner me in a dark street to say sorry?He could burn in fucking hell for all I care. I had half the mind to go tell Sophia to keep her man in check but then again, I had too much on my plate to make room for any drama."We need to see ASAP"I sent the text to the groupchat that I had made with Nico and Alex. I was thankful that Nico had not left the group so I wouldn't have to text him seperately."What's up?" Nico replied."Everything okay, Al