The Villainess With No Happy Endings

I could feel my head hurting as I sat up in my bed. My throat felt painful and really dry. For some reason, my eyes felt puffy, as if I was crying. I lifted the covers that were covering me off and put my feet to the ground. As soon as I did that I collapsed onto the floor.

 My body felt so weak and my stomach was hurting so much like I haven’t eaten in a while. I was so confused about what was happening. From the corner of my eye, I saw a mirror showing a small figure.

 I turned around to face the mirror fully and felt even more confused. The mirror showed a girl in a nightgown, who looked to be ten years old and skinny to the point her cheeks were sunken in. I realize that I had long curly brown hair that reached my lower back. My skin was dark but seemed rather pale as if I haven’t seen the sun in a while.

 What drew me in was my dark and seemingly empty brown eyes. It reminds me of my own eyes. The eyes that stop believing in people and everything. That the type of eyes I was looking at. I slowly reach a hand up to my face and feel my breathing quicken once I realize the reflection in the mirror copy me.

  ‘This isn’t right... This isn’t right! THIS ISN’T RIGHT!’ I tried to stand up quickly but could only fall back onto the ground. My legs felt so weak but I was trying so hard to get up. I tried to say something but my voice couldn’t make a sound. All I could do was curl onto the floor and tried to get my breathing back to normal.

  Once my breathing was under control, I thought everything would get better but I was wrong. My head started to hurt so much that I felt like I was going to die. I could hear someone screaming in pain. It was so loud and sounded so hurt. After a few seconds, I realized it was me screaming.

 I could hear footsteps coming quickly towards me but I was too distracted by the pain I was feeling. I could feel myself get picked up by someone and hear a voice trying to speak to me but I just held my head that wouldn’t stop hurting.

  I could feel myself being carried quickly toward somewhere and other countless voices. I couldn’t take the pain anymore so I decided to just close my eyes. I could see countless images flashing through my eyes.

 I could see a female who felt familiar to me appeared in countless images. She always had a frown on her face. I realize that person was me. The real me. The me who had no parents. The me who was always getting in fights. The me who had no one on my side except me.

 I could see myself playing a game in some of the images. I remember that game. It was the only thing I enjoyed. ‘Wait... That girl in the game looked familiar to the girl in the mirror.. ‘ I realize in the images the girl from the mirror was also from the game.

  Aurelia Giliam... That is her name. She was the villainess of the game. She hated the heroine so much. She did countless things just to mess up her chances. Even though she was always causing trouble for me in the game. I could only feel a sense of kinship with her.

  She was like me. Even though she had a family, they didn’t want anything to do with her. Her father hated her for taking the life of the only woman he loved and her older brother didn’t want anything to do with her. She was simply something everyone didn’t care for.

 I remember feeling guilty with one of the routes where I went after the only person she felt could care for her... In the end, she killed herself after being harshly rejected by the only person she loved. I remember feeling bad for a few weeks after that route.

  Now it seems like I am this tragic character... Fuck.

  After a while of getting back memories from my past life and Aurelia's life, I finally woke up. I was in a hospital bed. My head no longer felt like it was getting split open and my stomach didn’t feel hungry anymore.  I was looking around the room not expecting to see anyone.

 ‘I doubt the old man will be here. Seeing how he got her a house to live in by herself with only servants to keep her company... He may not even come to check on her. Probably will send someone to give her a message.’ I closed my eyes and tried to remember the things from the otome game I played.  The game was called “A Highschool Royal Romance”. 

 The game was about how an orphan who found out she was the missing daughter of a noble family. She was taken back into the family with open arms. Since she was back with her family she had to go to a school where only the most important and richest people could go.

  I felt a bit more relaxed knowing that the game took place during the modern-day so I wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with a different era. I know that there are a total of five love interests, one of them being a hidden character. I was just getting to the hidden character route before...  I can’t remember what happened to me. Did I die?

 ‘I remember I came home from my job and I was soaked in water from a sudden downpour. I remember taking a bath that lasted for an hour before finally getting out. I decided to play the game for a while so I could get closer to figuring out who the hidden character was. Then I remembered...’ I could feel my head start to hurt when I tried to remember beyond that.

 I was grabbing at my head as another painful headache came up and couldn’t focus on anything. I felt myself snap back to focus once I felt someone touch my arm. I quickly looked at what touched me and saw a worried expression on an older woman. I didn’t let my guard down right away until I realized it was a caretaker of Aurelia, Mae.

 She raised Aurelia ever since she was born after her father wanted nothing to do with her.  She was in her forties, but she still had a youthful look to her. She always had her blonde hair up in a neat bun. Her skin was covered in freckles that were able to be seen rather clearly with her fair skin.

  She looked like she hadn't slept well in a while and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I opened my mouth to say something to her but all that accomplished was me coughing violently. Mae quickly was at my side with a bottle of water in her hand. “Please drink some water. You must be so thirsty.” 

 I took the water with shaky hands and drank from it. My dry throat was feeling better already and I handed the water back to a worried Mae.  “...I’m sorry for causing you trouble, Mae.” From what I receive from Aurelia's memories she wasn’t eating anything until her father came to visit her.

  No matter how much everyone begged her, she wouldn’t change her mind. She just wanted to see her father. ‘...Yet, he ignored her pleas for attention and let her starve.’  I had a feeling that Aurelia had died from nothing eating in such a long time. She wasn’t here anymore, only me.

  “I was so worried about you, Aurelia! You wouldn’t wake up for four days and I was worried that you-!” Mae stopped herself from finishing that sentence by covering her mouth with her hands with a fearful expression on her face. She looked unsteady as she stood there and I was worried she would collapse onto the floor.

 I raised a hand to place it on her hands and tried not to react to how thin my hand looked. I slowly pulled it off her mouth and held it in my thin hands. I rub her shaking hands slowly, hoping to calm her down.

 After a while, she stopped shaking and I stopped holding her hands. “Can I go home?” I felt uneasy being in this hospital room. Even if it wasn’t my home I was returning to, I would rather be there than here. 

 “The doctor has to check on you, just to make sure everything is alright.” Mae went out of the room to find a doctor and I was left there by myself again. I felt a different range of emotions going through me at the moment, trying to handle this new situation I was in.

 ‘Aurelia is the villainess of the otome game I enjoyed playing. She never had a good ending even if the heroine got a bad ending. She is a character not allowed to have happiness. I am here now but I won’t let my fate in the game happen to me.’ I was squeezing the covers on top of me tightly to the point my knuckles whiten. I wouldn’t allow myself to die just because I was the villainess. I will survive and find a happy ending.