How Does 'He Didn’T Look For Me Until I Was Dead' By Durinn End?

My mother was once adored and protected by three men. As such, I had three fathers. After her death, I was raised by one of the greatest doctors, the richest man in Theala, and an award-winning actor. For 13 years, I was showered with overwhelming adoration. That was until three years ago—the day they adopted Erin, an orphan girl. From then on, they began to dote on her. When she accused me of stealing her necklace, they tore my room apart in their search, smashing my most cherished music box in the process. They only felt remorse when they saw me sobbing over the shards. As compensation, they bought me every music box they could find. When she claimed I mocked her for being an orphan, they forced me to write a hundred apology letters as punishment. They only massaged my hands in remorse upon seeing them trembling so badly that I could no longer feed myself. When Erin accused me of shredding her gown, they locked me in the dark basement, starving me for three whole days. When I was let out, they were filled with remorse upon realizing how much weight I had lost. Their bloodshot eyes watched over the grand feast they prepared as an apology. All of that lasted until Erin poisoned my cup of water. I kept coughing up blood as my body grew weaker by the day. Daniel only diagnosed me with malnutrition and made me take prescribed supplements. Unbeknownst to him, those supplements only hastened the poison's effects. After I collapsed at school, I went to the hospital for treatment. "You only have three days left to live," the doctor said. Why then… Why did my fathers drown themselves in sorrow and kill Erin after my death?

My life was left behind in that church fire. When the flames broke out, Cersei lied to me and said Jaeren was still inside. I didn't hesitate. I rushed into the fire without a second thought, only to save my fiancé, Jaeren. Then Cersei shoved me into the flames. By the time Jaeren found us, he picked Cersei up and turned away. He never looked back at me. I was swallowed little by little by the smoke and fire. Later, I stumbled out of the fire alone, covered in soot from head to toe. Jaeren frowned, his face full of impatience. “I didn't take you out first, sure. But couldn't you just call yourself a cab?” “Be glad Cersei is unharmed. Even your death in that fire wouldn’t clear your fault.” He didn't know that I had already suffocated to death in the flames. The one who walked out of the ruins was nothing more than a body still breathing. I made a deal with the vampire in the church basement, trading away my love for Jaeren and every tear I had ever shed for him. In seven days, on the night of the full moon, I will open my eyes again in the dark as one of her kind. From then on, I will no longer be trapped by love. And I will never shed another tear for Jaeren.

My fated mate shut me out of our bond for the ninety-ninth time just as the last spark of dragonfire inside me began to die. I walked into the Oath Hall of Obsidian Keep alone. Black stone stretched beneath my feet, cold enough to bite through my slippers, and every step made the cracked channels around my dragon core grind deeper into my chest. “I’m here to renounce the Obsidian Court and dissolve my life-bond with the Dragon Lord.” The clerk took in my bloodless face and lowered his voice. “Lady Ashton, once I set the seal, the Court will no longer be required to protect you. Are you certain?” My dragonfire had been unstable since birth, leaving me weaker than most dragonkin. When I was ten, my father adopted Cecilia. She had a gift for explaining every disaster in the gentlest possible voice until everyone believed I was the jealous sister who couldn’t stand to share. My parents hadn’t always been unloving. They had simply forgotten how to tell the difference between the daughter who was crying and the daughter who was lying. Cassian and I had been fated for years, yet he had never crowned me his Dragon Queen. He rarely took me to Court gatherings. Most of Obsidian Keep didn’t even know I was his mate. “That’s all right.” I swallowed the taste of blood and kept my voice steady. “I’ll be dead in three days.”

Before my death, I repeatedly remind my son, Clark Sinclair, what to do after I pass away. I stress that my heart must be donated to my husband, Craig Sinclair. He has suffered from dilated cardiomyopathy for 30 years. This is the last thing I can do for him. Clark shakes me off impatiently and snaps, "Enough. Stop pretending to be kind. Dad was never sick." I think I must have misheard him. "What?" He lets out a cold laugh and continues, "If you hadn't refused to divorce him all these years, why would he have needed to fake an illness just to be with Vern in secret?" My whole body trembles as I demand proof. Clark hands me a marriage certificate. On it are the names Craig and Verna Bloom, my widowed sister-in-law. The two lean against each other intimately, smiling sweetly at the camera. In an instant, rage and grief overwhelm me. The family I spend half my life building turns out to be nothing more than a complete lie. Clark continues expressionlessly, "Actually, Vern is my real mother. Your child was drowned in a bathtub long ago. Back then, Dad and Vern couldn't resist each other. She went into premature labor and nearly bled to death. She gave birth to me on the same day you gave birth. "Dad was so frightened that he developed heart palpitations. He was afraid you'd never stop causing trouble if you found out, so he pretended to be sick for 30 years." Curled up on the floor, I cough up a mouthful of blood. "Why tell me now?" Clark looks at me with eyes full of nothing but hatred. "You stole Vern's place for 30 years. And now, even on your deathbed, you want my dad to owe you a favor. Why should he?" An inexplicably bitter taste fills my mouth. In the end, I die consumed by regret. When I open my eyes again, I find myself in the delivery room next to Verna's. A wave of excruciating pain surges through my lower body.

When I was ten, I bugged my brother to come home for my birthday. He died in a plane crash that day. They never found his body. After that, my parents saw me as a total screw-up. They blamed me for his death. Every year on his memorial day, they forced me to kneel at the cemetery and repent my mistakes. I did that for eight years. I figured I'd spend my whole life paying for it. But on my 18th birthday, some creep stalked and murdered me. Right before I died, I tried calling for help. But my mom chewed me out. "I bet you're just dodging your duty to make up for James. You're full of crap. If you hadn't forced him to come back, he would have been alive. This is what you deserve." She hung up, leaving me staring at the dead screen. My last hope was dashed. She was right. Someone like me meant nothing but bad luck to those around me. I didn't deserve to exist. But then, eight years after his death, James showed up with his pregnant wife. When they heard I was gone, they fell apart.

On the night of their third wedding anniversary, Aelara watches the man she has loved since childhood drive a blade through her heart and say her sister's name as he does it. She dies on the ballroom floor making one wish — not for revenge, not for answers, just the day before everything was decided. The day before she chose wrong. Fate listens. Because Aelara is not just a king's daughter. She is the Goddess of Fate and Life, and even dying, her power answers her own prayer. Reborn to the morning of the choosing ceremony, she faces four suitors and a kingdom that expects her to name Caelan Dray the God of Conquest, the man who will one day kill her. She does not. She names Riven Ashveil, the quiet, unbothered God of Sovereignty who has spent nine years showing up for her in every way that mattered and never once asking for anything back. No one understands the choice. Caelan does not grieve it. He starts watching her instead. And Lysa, her half-sister and Caelan's secret lover, goes very still. What follows is not a simple love story. It is a slow war for a kingdom, a throne, and a goddess's life fought in corridors and courtrooms and dark divine channels by two people who believed they were owed something and could not accept that they were wrong. Riven is the most powerful god in the kingdom. But power means nothing if you do not know what is coming for you. Aelara knows. She died once already. She is not dying again.