Is Yo Mama So Fat - Best Jokes Worth Reading?

"Dad, what are you doing to my girlfriend? You like Pearl? I'll marry Pearl. No problem. Just don't—" Jason, the jock I idolized for almost half my life, tripped over his words. "Derek, wait. Let's have a conversation fir— Dear fucking God, help me," I screamed, as my husband slammed the whole of his big dick home into my near virgin pussy. "Excuse my idiot son, wife. At least he had the sense not to touch you since I made you mine. Fuck, you're tight," Derek said, quick to withdraw and shove his dick back into me. ### Pearl was Jason's girlfriend for three years. He never touched her, fat shamed her mercilessly, but kept her around to pass his exams for him, claiming they were waiting for marriage to fuck. When Pearl walked in on him fucking a hooker, she was devastated, finally coming to terms with the truth: her boyfriend found her curves revolting. He was disgusted by her. Done being used and ready to get laid, Pearl agrees to go on a last minute blind date in her sister’s place. Little does she know that her 'date' isn’t the stranger she was supposed to meet. He’s Derek Nelson, Jason’s billionaire father and her husband from a drunken one night stand. Derek breaks the news to Pearl, then angry fucks her in front of Jason, demanding she be his whore wife for one year. In student debt up to her eye balls, with her family's debt to think of too, can Pearl really turn her billionaire husband away? As Jason grovels for forgiveness on his knees while Derek fucks Pearl, the young wife must choose: the boy who used and betrayed her or the ruthless, former champion wrester who’s obsessed with ruining her.

She was the joke of the pack. The fat omega nobody wanted. The girl they laughed at, looked through and never looked twice at. When the Moon Goddess's sacred mark burned onto her wrist at another woman's wedding, the entire pack laughed harder. Alpha Zane rejected her in front of everyone without blinking. She accepted it without crying. But the Goddess does not make mistakes. And the woman they called Fatso? She just woke a man from a five year coma with her bare hands. Now ancient symbols are crawling up her arms, elders are dropping to their knees and the most powerful Alpha in the region is realizing that the woman he humiliated before every pack in the region was never the omega he thought she was. She was never beneath him. She was always above him. The only question now is whether he can survive what she's becoming.

At the beginning of a new year, I stay at the hospital to take care of my mother-in-law on my own. My wife, Yelena Lipton, on the other hand, is on a vacation with her first love, Phillip Warren, in a tropical island overseas. Funnily enough, I'm the last one who finds out about her impending marriage with Phillip. When my mother-in-law hears about the news, her condition deteriorates to the point she gets sent into the treatment room immediately. I have to call Yelena over a dozen times for her to finally pick up the call. "Do you have a death wish or something? Why did you bombard me with calls? I'm in the middle of something right now, so leave me alone!" After that, Yelena ends the call. Since then, I keep failing to get in contact with her. During that time, my mother-in-law has passed away from the treatment failure. When I'm done organizing the funeral, I send Yelena a divorce agreement right away. "Have you gone nuts? It's just an announcement to cheer Phillip up! Are you seriously going to file a divorce from me?" After hearing Yelena's accusations, I reply calmly, "Mom's dead. I've already dealt with everything concerning her passing. You should come back and visit her grave."

My 20-year-old daughter was obese. She started gaining weight in middle school, and now she weighed 200 pounds. I worried about her health, so I prepared nutritious meals for her and encouraged her to exercise every day, but she didn't take the problem seriously. "I was born weighing 7 pounds. It's your fault for making me so fat when I was in your womb." For eight years, every time I urged her to lose weight, that was her reply. Just as I was losing hope and considering giving up, I received a FaceTime call from my daughter 10 years in the future. "Mom! Please help me one more time!" My daughter cried on the phone. "I now weigh 500 pounds. I can't even leave home, and I struggle to breathe every day. I feel so miserable!" My heart softened, and I spent $30,000 to send my daughter to a weight loss camp. However, in the camp, my daughter indulged herself and even started a food vlogging channel. "Eat as much as you want, drink as much as you want. Don't take life so seriously. We only have about 80 years to live, so enjoy your food!" I was completely disappointed and chose to respect her decision. My daughter from ten years later cried hysterically on the phone. "The doctor said I don't have long to live! Please stop feeding me!" But this time, the FaceTime call was made to my daughter's phone.

Every year on the day the SAT results are released, I spend the entire day kneeling at my mother's grave. Three years ago, I fell for a phone scam and transferred all of the tuition money she had saved through years of diligently saving up to the scammers. Unable to take the sudden blow, Mom suffered a fatal heart attack. After she passed away, debt collectors began showing up at our door. Only then did I learn how much money she had borrowed just to keep us afloat. I have no choice but to give up my admission offer from Jaloria College. Working five jobs a day, I finally repay every last debt today. On the subway ride to the cemetery, I suddenly come across a streamer whose voice sounds strangely familiar. She blabs, "How do you teach kids the value of earning money? In my experience, extreme circumstances work the best. I deliberately created a scenario for my daughter where both her parents are supposedly dead, and she inherited a million dollars of my debt. "She's almost finished paying it off now. Tell me, can your kids do that?" Someone in the comments section questions her methods, saying it is too insane. She only grows more smug as she gloats, "So what? She's the one who was stupid enough to get scammed. I was just teaching her a lesson. As a reward for doing so well, I'll tell her the truth on her birthday five days from now. Any sensible child will understand their parents' good intentions." As she gestures animatedly, a crescent-shaped birthmark on her wrist comes into view. It's identical to my mom's. My hands tremble as I create a new account. I switch the profile picture to a man in a suit and change the background to luxury cars and mansions. Then, I send her an expensive virtual gift. While she excitedly thanks me, I leave a comment. "You're absolutely right, ma'am. If only I had a smart woman like you around to help me raise my children."

My mom is terrified of being laughed at by others the most. Whenever the holidays are here, she will keep repeating one sentence to me—"Don't go around embarrassing me." When my relatives gather around and chat with each other, I accidentally knock a fruit platter over. Mom drags me over and slaps me on the spot. At the holiday feast, I grab extra pieces of steak for myself. Mom responds by kicking my chair over. When it's time for the holiday gifts to be distributed, my aunt, Gabriella Hall, has miscalculated the number of children present among the family. So, she has prepared one less gift for the occasion. Mom doesn't hesitate to kick me out of the apartment, leaving me shivering in the cold corridor in just my indoor clothes. The icy winds chill me to the bone. I keep slamming my palms on the front door while screaming and crying my apologies at Mom, and yet she remains unmoved and silent. Instead, she turns to face Aunt Gabriella with an apologetic smile on her face. "I'm really sorry. I didn't raise my daughter well. It's only fair that you ridicule me." What Mom doesn't know is that I get triggered whenever I hear the word "ridicule" thanks to her so-called parenting lessons. Whenever I hear that word, I want nothing more than to hurt myself uncontrollably. So when I hear the word "ridicule" coming out of Mom's mouth through the front door, I turn on my heel quietly and begin making my way toward the bridge next to the neighborhood that's plunged into darkness. The moment I jump from the bridge, the only thought I have is, "Mom, no one will ridicule you because of me this time."