Your Momma So Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

His friends chuckled, and went over to the dining table, the seven of them started eating, after feeding their over-bloated tummies. Mama Sarah realized why they are so fat, they eat too much, Boss Sima burped his stomach and grinned. “Brother Cool, you shouldn't eat like us, you wouldn't want to look like us again, your wife won't like you the way she is doing now,” Boss Sima said tauntingly. Boss Cool chuckled and shook his head, “I don't have to bother to watch my weight again, since Mama Sarah is here” he replied. “The food tastes great” Mama Sarah commented and gave Boss Sima a thumb up.

"Didn't your mom ever teach you that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all?" "Bad habit," I replied. "I promise I'll be good the rest of the way." "I don’t believe you, but it's going to take more effort to kick you out of my car than I feel like putting in right now, so let's just go." He backed out of the packhouse driveway and pulled onto the main road. "Why, because I'm fat?" I asked. "What?" He glanced at me for a split second, confusion on his face. I blushed and said, "The day you met me, you called me chubby. I figured you were making a fat joke," embarrassed by my assumption.

James gulped as he tried to deny it. “You little fucking liar. Want me to call Amy right now? Ask if you’ve ever laughed or called her names for her weight?” I slammed my hands on the table. James was withering knowing I had him. “It was just joking around. No one was getting hurt.” James was starting to shake under the gaze of our moms. “Just jokes?” Mamá sniffled. “No one was getting hurt?” Mom’s green eyes had hardened to emeralds and were glaring daggers. If she could make lasers with them, James would be ash.

How ridiculous it was! "Mom?"

I answered. “Does getting fat makes her less smart?” he asked one more time. “No,” I answered firmly. “I don’t have problems if she has brains. Brain is what matters to me the most,” he said. I sighed on his answer. Dimitri was indeed a smart kid. But as time changes, his personal taste is going to change as well along with this. “But how does that mean you’re not going to the party?” he asked me one more time. “Momma used to be fat and her friends used to make fun of her,” I answered.

My mom was an ex beauty queen,people said am the fat version of her. "Well having your father's body isn't a curse,you are beautiful the way you are,look at those flesh most of them bullies envy them,you dont even have belly fat,you're thick..and chubby but definitely not fat". She's trying to cheer me up i know, no one will ever envy a fat lady. I just went mute ,my lips shivering holding back from crying in her presence. "You know am gonna tell you a secret " I gaze at her with interest.

"Try to say one just and my hand will surely fly in your face without a warning!" "Don't be so killjoy, Sophia!" said my mom. "Laughter is the best medicine! Why don't you allow him to prove himself to all of us!" "Mom, I said I am not really into comedy so please stop insisting that!" I exclaimed for her to know that I am not interested in hearing any kind of jokes!

I murmur, looking through the stuff, "Half of this won't make it past my ass." "Hey, I love your ass," Leo rushes to say, but his mom gasps so he makes a grimace, realizing what he said in front of her, "That was a joke." "Don't be crass, especially not in front of other people," she chastises him, "You are definitely not fat, Jolene and I'm sure we'll find something you love in your size." Huh. My mom would've called me an obese whale by now, but I guess not all moms are the same.

Just as I had expected my mom's friends are all here, at least the ones I can remember. “Oh Ivy look how grown you've become, just take a look at those big boobs of yours” one of them exclaims and I immediately start to feel uncomfortable. This is one of the many reasons why I don't like them at all. “Oh stop it, those little things” mom says and they all laugh. What a great way to boost my body image mom. “Where's your husband?” One asks, the one I know to be Velma. “Oh he's right outside his G-wagon” mom says not missing the opportunity to brag.

She looks me up and down before sighing. “I don’t spend all that money on your Pilates sessions for you to still gain weight.” Her words sting. I draw my bottom lip in, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I’m not fat, Mom.” “No, you’re not. You just take after me.” She says with sarcasm, walking toward my hung jackets. My face tightens in embarrassment. I bend to pick up the bag, pressing all the bras in. It’s not my fault they don’t fit anymore, yet I keep getting the blame. I’m so sick and tired.