Yo Mamma Jokes

I woke in the middle of the night to my Don husband murmuring in his sleep. “Juno, be good. Tomorrow I’ll buy you and Mamma a new house.” My eyes flew open. Juno? That was the name I’d always planned for a purebred Ceylon cat I dreamed of owning, but I’d never gotten one because of my pet fur allergy. And a new house? Could this just be a coincidence? I shook him lightly. “What did you just say?” He frowned and mumbled coarsely, “Had a nightmare. Dreamt of a shootout.” I didn’t press further. In the darkness, I reached for his phone and silently opened his messages.

Once in a while, in the middle of life, love gives us a fairytale.And some fairytale love stories are completely unexpected and thus more memorable.No one expected the class president and the leader of Trouble Triggers to even talk about anything but notes and pencils. But then fate's a bitch and loves to meddle!Their life changes drastically when the good girl- Joanna Williams has to tutor the bad boy- Bryan Cooper.Along with the tutoring comes constant fun, too much bickering, lame jokes, scary sarcasm, idiotic friends, too many unknown emotions, jungles in tummy, bucket lists, unheard secrets and haunting pasts.Maybe some fairytales don't have a happy ending... or do they?

For seven years, I had been the secret of Enzo Gallo, the new Don of the Gallo family. When I went to register our son Lucas's birth, I discovered Enzo had already married his sister-in-law, Camilla, and claimed her child as his own. Her child became the heir to the family, with all the privileges that entailed. My child became a shameful bastard. Years ago, after Enzo's brother died, the family elders gave Enzo one condition to become Don: he had to have an heir with his sister-in-law to secure the Gallo bloodline. That night, Enzo held me close and swore I was his only true wife. He promised that once Camilla gave birth, he would give me the wedding I deserved. But he missed Lucas's birthday the day Camilla went into labor. Instead of the wedding he promised me, all I got was the news of his marriage to his sister-in-law. My son gently wiped away my tears with his small hand: "Mamma, don't be sad. I changed my birthday wish. I don't want a Papa anymore." "I don't care about being an heir. Having you is enough." I pulled Lucas into my arms, swallowing the bitterness that rose in my throat. "Who says you aren't an heir? Baby, Mamma is taking you home. To our family." What Enzo doesn't know is that I am the only daughter of the most powerful Mafia family in Sicily. I never cared about being the Donna of the Gallo family.

Seven years after getting engaged to Leander Beaumont, he inherits everything that once belonged to his late brother—including his brother's wife, Dinah Fowler. Every time Leander sleeps with Dinah, he holds me afterward and whispers, "Jenny, just wait a little longer. We can finally have our wedding once Dinah gets pregnant." It's the only condition the Beaumont family, Westrael’s most powerful mafia clan, sets for Leander to become the next Don. In just half a year after returning home, Leander visits Dinah's room 59 times. He starts from once a month... to nearly every single day. Finally, after the 60th time I watch him leave Dinah's room, the "good news" comes. Dinah is pregnant. And along with it, an announcement—the Beaumont family declares Leander and Dinah are getting married. "Mamma, is someone getting married?" my young son asks, staring at the house now lavishly decorated by a wedding company. I quietly gather him into my arms, my voice cold as I say, "Yes, sweetheart. Your father is marrying the woman he loves. It's time for us to leave." What Leander doesn't know is that the Bellini family, my family, has risen to become a mafia power strong enough to rival the Beaumonts. And me? I'm Jenny Bellini, the most beloved daughter of the Bellini family. I will never be trapped by marriage again.

During my night shift, I refused to help my adopted sister administer fluids to her patient. After the wrong drug is given, I watch a seven-year-old boy die after he suffers an allergic reaction right before my eyes. In my previous life, the boy's family stormed the nurses' station after I'd just finished administering his IV medication. The next thing I knew, I was violently beaten up. "You poisoned my grandchild by giving him the wrong medicine!" But the fluid I introduced into his bloodstream was a simple glucose solution. It couldn't have led to such a disastrous outcome. When I was on the brink of passing out, someone called the police. I thought help had finally arrived, but I was sorely mistaken. The police officer—my brother—pinned me to the ground. "We found your prints on the drug vial. You're a murderer." Then, my childhood friend, a forensic pathologist, held up an autopsy report and accused me of the same crime. "The patient's time of death is around 5:00 am. That's the same time you administered drugs into his system." Unable to prove my innocence, I was ultimately beaten to death by the boy's enraged family members. My brother and my childhood friend had always loved me. Even on the brink of death, I couldn't understand why they would do this to me. Now, I open my eyes and find myself back on the night it all began.

“You’re weak and ugly!” “Stop acting like you’re one of us. You disgust me!” ***In high school, Tabitha was fat and the constant target of the quadruplet brothers' cruel jokes and bullying. They were her living nightmare. After dropping out, she left the werewolf school behind and enrolled in a human university, where she slimmed down. The quadruplets were raised by their father with strict military discipline, shaping them into rebellious and unruly young alphas. Five years later, Tabitha and the quadruplet brothers met again, because her mother married their father. Now, Tabitha is forced to live under the same roof as the four Navy Alpha bullies. They quickly recognize her and are stunned by how beautiful she’s become.

My parents think I'm not ladylike enough, so they buy themselves a docile and sweet AI daughter called Serafina Moretti. On the day Serafina is brought home, I get bullied by the entire family. Papa hates the fact that I'm really bad at studying, unlike Serafina, who's quick to pick up on the knowledge after being taught for the first time. Mamma wrinkles her nose at my bright and active personality. Apparently, I'm not quiet enough, which annoys her and gives her a pounding headache all the time. My older brother, Dario Moretti, even berates me all the time. "You're a disgrace to the Moretti family! What else are you capable of doing other than eating and sleeping?" Even Serafina has the gall to make fun of me, so I shove her to the floor out of anger. Mamma's expression darkens immediately. Then, she delivers a heavy slap across my cheek. "Serafina is your sister! If you're as docile as she is, you won't annoy me to the point I keep having headaches! "It's time for you to learn how to be a docile and understanding daughter in a behavioral correction academy!" So, I'm forced to study there. Two years later, my family picks me up from the academy. They keep calling my name, and yet I never respond to them. Professor Luca Caruso corrects them smilingly, "Mrs. Moretti, you must say the words, 'Activate.' Only then will NS-5 boot up on her own."

Everyone knows that the mafia Don's only son, Antonio Gatti, gets to choose a completely new mistress of his own once every three months. Women who are in dire need of money and have no other option left in life will flock to Antonio's wife, Martina Russo, to apply for the position. If they get to spend a night with Antonio, they'll receive a million dollars. Those who are capable of giving birth to his heir will receive half of his family fortune. There are so many women who want to latch onto Antonio as their ticket to wealth. As for me, Martina, I become the hottest piece of gossip in the entire mafia underworld. "Just what sort of lethal leverage does the Gatti family have over Martina to the point that she can tolerate her husband's whims to this degree?" Everyone is very sure that I will submit to the Gatti family's influence and live a humiliating life for as long as I draw breath. That is, until Antonio brings a young woman named Camilla Ferrara home one day. Camilla is an ordinary woman, and yet she's capable of transforming Antonio, a cold-blooded and violent man, into a completely different person. He gets rid of all his other mistresses for her sake. He cleanses every inch of himself three whole times because she claims that he's filthy. Antonio has become obsessed with Camilla. He tells me, "Camilla is a pure and innocent angel; unlike you, whose hands are completely stained with filthy blood. Your heart is as dirty as the rest of you." He seems to have forgotten that I've done those filthy things just so I can get rid of all the obstacles in his way in order to protect the Gatti family's legacy. On the day Mamma passed away from her illness, Antonio prepared a huge fireworks show that's capable of lighting up the entire sky above New Wis City just to celebrate Camilla's birthday. After that, I find out that Antonio has the gall to dump my mamma's ashes into the fireworks assembly on Camilla's birthday. They end up combusting alongside the rest of the fireworks that night. I toss the divorce agreement in his face with all my might. At the same time, I unlatch the safety on the pistol that's hidden in my sleeve before pointing it at him and Camilla. "I'm giving you two choices right now. Option one—sign the divorce agreement and file for a divorce with me, which entitles me to half of the Gatti family's fortune. Option two—die together with your beloved mistress so that you can go to hell and apologize to Mamma there."

Li Han and ordinary beta who wants to live an ordinary life but twin alphas Yo Sun and Yo Han have an obsession. They want to dominate the clueless beta. An ordinary beta + Twin Alphas= disaster.

Freya Laurent returns to the Blackwood Pack after five years, eager to reunite with her adoptive family. But the moment Alpha Dane, the man who's been her protective brother since childhood sees her, his wolf claims her as his fated mate. ‎ ‎Caught between duty and desire, Dane fights his primal urges while Freya struggles with dreams and an inexplicable pull toward the one man she shouldn't want. When jealous warrior Selene allies with rival Alpha Viktor, their attacks awaken ancient powers within Freya. ‎ ‎She's not just human. She's the Moon Goddess's last descendant, and everyone wants her power. ‎ ‎Can love conquer blood? Or will destiny destroy them both?