Busy Mouse
I can hear the voices of every organ in the human body. In my three years of practicing medicine, I've never misdiagnosed a single patient.
For instance, a young man with wobbly legs comes in for a consultation, suspecting he has a terminal illness. His kidneys, however, start cursing up a storm.
"You're juggling eight girlfriends at the same time. Even a workhorse on a farm doesn't get worked this hard!"
I try my best not to laugh, prescribe him some supplements, and casually suggest he learn a little time management.
Then, a well-dressed white-collar professional walks in and tells me she's experiencing heart palpitations and dizziness and insists that she must have congenital heart disease. Her heart immediately protests loudly in my ear.
"You drink three iced Americanos a day! I'm about to burst out of your ribcage and start doing calisthenics!"
I smile and prescribe her some chamomile tea. Less than half a month later, she returns with a healthy, rosy complexion to present me with a banner of appreciation. From that moment on, I earn the nickname "the Human X-Ray".
…
One afternoon, a woman walks in with a listless-looking boy. Maeve Brown looks sick with worry. "Dr. Young, please take a look at him! Lennon has been suffering from headaches, and he has already taken several days off school due to them."
However, his brain is practically throwing a party in my ear.
"Hell yeah, I successfully skipped class! I'm going to grind ranked matches all night long!"
I smile as I diagnose him with malingering, and Lennon White goes home with a flushed face.
Ten days later, Maeve and Hubert White burst into my office. This time, Lennon's complexion is pallid. Bracing himself against the doorframe, his body sways uncontrollably.
Initially, I assume he's putting on another performance. However, the moment I hear the voices emanating from within his body, my mind goes blank. I immediately push him out of the room and dial 911. "I'd rather treat a dog with this condition than treat you!"