Absurd Funny Quotes

[WWARNING: MATURE CONTENT] "I... I'm not sure what I'm asking for," Serena admitted. "But I know I want you. Even if it scares me to death." Her voice trembled slightly. His hand covered hers, pressing it more firmly against his hardened length. "Tell me to stop. Tell me now, or I won't be able to hold back." his tone was both a challenge and a plea. Serena swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest at the electric tension between them. "I don't want you to stop," she breathed, barely recognizing her own voice. His eyes darkened even more. So much so that the ambers in them completely disappeared. He gnashed his teeth so hard as he fought for control. Serena could feel the tension radiating off him in waves like a spring ready to snap. "You don't know what you're doing to me," he growled roughly. She bit her lip, both thrilled and intimidated by the raw need in his voice. Her fingers trailed along the hard line of his jaw, feeling the slight stubble there. "Show me," she challenged. His breathing grew even more ragged. Serena could see the struggle on his face - the battle between his overwhelming desire and his need to protect her from his own intensity. "I could hurt you," he warned again. "I'm not sure I can ever be gentle with you. I’m rough. My kind of sex is brutal." --------- Serena's life hit rock bottom when she caught her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She decided to lose herself in a bar, hoping to wash away her pain. However, life has this funny way of messing up plans – she ended up in a one-night stand that only added more trouble to her already chaotic reality.

Reese gets rejected by her mate on her eighteenth birthday. She vows not to let the rejection rule her but her father has other ideas. Being rejected is a shame, one he intends to rectify when he agrees to the arranged marriage proposed by Alpha Troy Madden.Reese goes out with a plan. A one night stand to prove she can play the game as well as her playboy fiancé. Things don't go exactly according to plan and Reese soon finds herself in Black Claw territory.Troy Madden is not what she expected. He had intended to marry her to save his pack, but now she might just save him as well.Will Reese allow her heart to heal and give Troy what he needs or will she harden her heart after many truths are revealed?

Man dies. His last act in the previous life generates him an absurd amount of karma. He meets a god, and it reborns him in a crossworld of Larry Potter and DxD. He gets a gift, one that can only be fully explored with the knowledge that he learned in his previous profession in the previous world. The keeping of knowledge is also a gift. And with that, his karma is spent. Thrown in the world with a 'good luck' and a slap in the back, he fights to survive until the start of canons. The time until that, 1000 years. Yeah… Now read about some of his adventures in this crossed over world, beginning already in HP canon. English is not my main language, so you will find some strange stuff, like the mix of North American and the Queen’s English. Disclaimer: All characters that you recognize from the franchise of Larry Potter and DxD are propriety of its respective creators and I only wish that they were mine. But they are not. I only own the MC, the OCs, and the ideas that generated the non canon plot.

"Please, I am in pain." My pleas fell on deaf ears as his grip on my hair intensified. "I know you felt it too, the connection between us. I want to make one thing clear," he lowered his head and whispered into my ear, "Don't get any funny ideas. I can never mark you as my mate! You are a mere slave, and that is all you will be—a slave I can bed whenever I want." His finger trailed down my face and neck, pausing briefly at my bosom, which responded involuntarily. "Just like I will tonight," he snarled before releasing my hair. I immediately crumpled to the hard ground. Athena, an 18-year-old Omega, was offered to the cruel Alpha king by her stepfather, who cared nothing about her, in exchange for a debt he owed the king. Upon meeting the cruel Alpha king, Sebastian, they felt a connection that indicated they were each other's mate. The cruel king rejects her immediately and subjects her to his sexual pleasures. Torn and broken, Athena decides to flee the pack with her unborn child, as the cruel king's palace was not a fit place to raise her child. She vowed to give her baby all the love and care she was deprived of, even as a child, something it would never get from its father or his kingdom. What would happen when she falls right into the hands of a Lycan king in need of an heir? What would happen when Sabastain decides he wants her back? What would happen when she discovers a secret that would play a huge role in determining whether she lives or dies, one that has been hidden from her all her life? Find out in this thrilling werewolf romance novel, "Offered to the Cruel Alpha King."

Inhaling deeply, I nodded as I gazed into his sexy grey eyes, "Yes. I will be your fake fiancée, Roman." He smirked, "Perfect. I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, doll." +++ One day, Sofie Diaz comes home, and is given the horrendous news of her engagement to the CEO of a reputable business corporation, who is thrice her age, by her greedy parents. Infuriated, she goes to a bar to drink her frustration away. There, she meets a sexy stranger. One thing leads to another, and Sofie ends up having a one-night stand with him. The next morning, the man, Roman Giovanni, who Sofie later realizes is one of the richest CEOs in America, makes an absurd proposal, for her to be his fake fiancée for a hundred days to fulfill his grandmother's wish, for him to get married. Ignoring her logical reasoning, Sofie accepts his proposal on a whim as she'd rather fake being engaged to a hot billionaire than be the wife of an old ogre. What happens when this arrangement of theirs blooms into love spiced with a generous dash of passionate sexcapades?

Kylie Leowfin is a beautiful, intelligent, and special model from Europe. She is living a happy life until she returns to the Philippines for the wedding of her cousin. During her stay there, she meets Thurstin Piers, a guy she does not want to see again. She dislikes Thurstin\'s that so much. However, fate and chance conspired together. Their paths cross again, and Thurstin and Kelly are stuck in the same place. After a while, Kylie realized that Thurstin\'s had a kind heart. But the pressure Kylie feels from the two of them being stuck in the same place that might make Kylie develop feelings for him. By keeping her distance and distracting herself, Kylie tried not to be disturbed by him. Do they have any chance of falling in love with each other? Read on to find out.

Summer Haynes, a.k.a 'Ms. Clumsy'. A lazy Tomboy trying to get her crush's attention with the help from her former ex bully. This is not the best idea to start with...

Seven years ago... I was his stalker. Three years ago... I was his wife. Two years ago... I was his ex-wife. Since the day he left me, my life has never been the same. It seems like I gathered all life's misfortunes - my mother died from cancer, our family business went down, and my dad could not face the shame, so he killed himself, leaving me to take on the responsibilities of paying his debts. I have to work hard to make ends meet. I worked as a baker, a dance instructor, and an entertainer to pay the debts as well as to support myself. I was trying to be okay until he came back. He manipulated everything - owned the bakeshop where I worked as a baker, paid me to give him private dance classes, and made me agree to perform in private with him. Do you think that is already worse? Nah-uh! He paid my family's debt in the banks, so I am obliged to pay him based on his terms. I am Patricia Sandoval, sold to Stuart Cordoval - I am his personal assistant, private chef, personal dance instructor, exclusive entertainer, and on-call bedwarmer for my beloved ex-husband. This may sound absurd, but yes, I am sold to my ex-husband.

"Some GoodNovel writers and readers are wondering what it would be like for two writers on the platform to fall in love. This is actually funny, some agreed it was possible, others believed it wasn't possible. But what if it actually happens between the both of us." ****** Olivia is a nerd who gets bullied at school by the captain of the football team, his squads and her classmates. Writing has always been her passion, things changed for her when she got an offer for her books by a writing platform. What happens when she suddenly catches the attention of the most popular writer on the platform's group chat on Face-book? What happens when she is being asked to tutor her bully?

Shayla Sengupta is the type of woman who has that razor-sharp smile, a devil-may-care attitude and has the type of beauty that poets write sonnets about. She knows it and also knows just how to use all of it to get what she wants.But after a handful of most unfortunate incidents where she almost ends up drowning in the dangerous waters she tried to tread on ; Shayla faces the danger of dying due to thirst. Does a certain blue eyed boy with the voice of a nightingale prove to be the water for Shayla when she is stuck in the desert?