Absurd Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Born to be his father's trouble. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch*. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in FOEDUS CORP., but he’ll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game.

Synopsis - On the night when the young warrior Raen is born, strange things happen in the Free East: A prince dies and the great oracle of Tulga sends a mysterious prophecy. A long journey begins. Will the young Raen manage to take the fate of his people in hand against the dark power of the priests and councilors? Raen's journey takes him to the legendary city of Borgossa, where he is to be trained at the War Academy. There he meets the funny Manoen, a compatriot, and they become friends. But Manoen also keeps a dark secret. When Raen finds out, the terrible machinations of the priests of his country are revealed to him. Together with his friend he returns to Hy to overthrow the priestly caste. War is inevitable.

I was at the grocery store stocking up on holiday supplies when my phone suddenly pinged with a friend request. The profile picture was a scenic shot I'd casually snapped years ago, and I knew right away who it was. But we hadn't spoken in five years—total radio silence. I had no idea why Marcello Golden was popping up now, so I typed into the verification field: [What's going on?] His reply flashed up almost instantly: [I'm back. Can we meet? I have something important to tell you in person.] Something important? As I stared at those words, I found the situation both absurd and amusing. What could be so important between us after all this time? I pushed the thought aside, pulled out my phone to scan the payment code for the cashier, and once the transaction was complete, my first action was to block his contact permanently.

The very day she came back into her home country, she heard the most absurd news. "Your sister is getting married with Mr. Stephenson". "What did you say?" She couldn't believe it. At the engagement party, she was shocked to see her sister getting engaged to her fiancé. "Daniel, remember this, I dumped you! Did you hear that? I dumped you, not the other way round." ..... Who could have guessed that after being betrayed by her fiancé and sister and being labelled as a home wrecker, someone would still want to marry her? "Don't you want to get revenge on your fiancé for what he did?" Nathan Clemon asked Hilda. "What has that got to do with you?" She snapped back. "It has got everything to do with me. I am the only person who could help you achieve that whiles giving you the happiness that any woman would wish in this world."

This is the tale of how the sexist remark, "Men are scum," was delivered to me on a scalding plate! Guess what? It all started with a birthday surprise party for my boss's fiance, but I was slapped with horror when I saw my boyfriend of two years being kissed by my boss with an engagement ring around both their fingers. Turned out I had been the side chick for two bloody years! Funny enough, I wasn't served a heart break alone, my boss had also been toying with the emotions of Cole McPherson, and together we swore to take revenge. Would I still scream, "Men are slime!" at the conclusion, or will my beliefs alter in the process of seeking revenge alongside Cole?

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

Mom is always very strict with both my elder sisters, Esther and Emily Kingston. She always wakes them up at 5:00 am to make them study. And if they refuse to wake up, Mom will grab an embroidery needle and stab it into my arm. When fresh blood spills out, Esther and Emily will both get a fright and scramble to their desks at once to begin studying. Sometime during the year-end exam, Esther gets one easy question wrong, and I receive ten lashes with Mom's belt. Emily gets only the second-highest score in class, and I am forced to kneel on glass until my knees turn bloodied and torn. Esther and Emily feel sorry for me and fall to their knees, begging Mom to have mercy on me and promising that they will study hard and make her proud of them. Mom smiles happily and says that this teaching method works very well. However, after the SATs, Esther applies for a college out of state, and Emily tells Mom that she is eloping with a young man whom she has fallen in love with. Mom is so angry that she yanks me over and stuffs me into a huge fish tank before beginning to fill it up with water. She then takes a video of me, threatening to drown me alive if they don't listen to her and do exactly as she says. The water keeps rising in the tank. I feel scared, but I don't struggle because Mom always tells me that the only reason for my existence is to be made an example out of for Esther and Emily. She often quotes Shakespeare's "Othello", telling me about how I am the "sacrificial" dog one beats to scare a lion and teach it obedience. I think that I am considered quite a qualified dog after all, right?

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

"What's happening?"The color of the once dead petals opened up to me, the brown and shriveled leaves, matching the petals in unbelievable harmony. A sight to behold.Who said moving could change anything? Wrong. For Kamara Kidjo, moving changed everything. New friends, new crush, new attitude. New powers?Ageline Kidjo knew the powers Kamara possessed but how long can one keep a secret? The truth as they say, will always prevail.