Absurd Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Cue evil laughter. “Serves you right, you emotionally constipated maniac.”

That's ridiculous. His words stepped on my landmine. The absurdity of his defense tore a cynical laugh from my throat as I turned on him, retorting loudly, "Are you kidding me?"

"We're hoping you'll find it funny and entertaining. Nerius squawked in encouragement, causing me to smile. “Um, what did the Griffon say when he walked into the bar?” I asked. “What?” Szan asked. “Ouch.” Only the Fiery Lynxes found that funny. Yeah this was going to be pretty rough. One after another we went up and told our funniest jokes and yet there was nothing. Not a chitter, a chuckle or even a snort from the Griffons. We were becoming hopeless.

"I'm sorry I'm late, CeCe." The moment those words—sounding especially respectful and familiar—left Terrence's lips, the whole private room fell silent. Everyone's eyes widened, as if they couldn't believe what they'd just heard. After a brief silence, Vanessa suddenly burst into loud, shrill laughter. "CeCe? Oh my goodness, that's hilarious!" She pointed at me, her face full of disdain and contempt. "I knew it! How could a fresh graduate like you possibly land a client as tough as Gilla Group on your own? Turns out all you did was just climb into Mr. Kapowsky's bed!"

It started as a giggle, then tur‍ne‌d i​nt‌o a hyst​eric‌al, sh‌ak‌ing laugh. "W‍hat is funny?" I‍ de⁠manded, sitt‍ing up. "We are covered in shit."‌ "You‍," she pointed at me. "T​he great Lo‌renzo Moret⁠ti. The m‌an who‍ irons his s​ocks⁠.‍ Look at you‍." I looked at my h⁠ands. The​y were b​la⁠ck with grime.

"Got anything to say?" "Fuck you." I burst into laughter.

He kept cackling, so I just scratched my head in confusion while Levi started laughing too. Before I knew it, I was caught up in their giggles. I clutched my stomach—I had no idea what was funny, but I couldn’t stop laughing! We looked like lunatics in the hallway. I had to hold onto the wall to keep from falling over I was laughing so hard. Wait—my aunt always said too much laughing could kill you. I shot my eyes open at the memory and tried to stop, but damn it—I just couldn’t! “Stop!” I gasped between laughs. But every time I heard either of them snicker, I’d burst out again. This must be what it feels like to be crazy!

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

If I had the energy to smack them, I would have done it, but alas, aside from being able to move my lips and fingers slightly, I feel like I’m completely bedridden. “Here, have some water. You must be thirsty as hell after all this time.” Somebody said before I felt a straw by my lips and with all the energy I could muster, I sipped and sipped. I must have been drinking a lot because I heard the sound of people coming in and one suddenly spoke. “Whoa, somebody’s about to create another desert.” I knew only Aspen would come up with such a terrible dad joke so I used up my energy to flip him off from the bed, which made everyone else laugh.

Seeing her dazed expression, I knew she hadn't listened at all. "Forget it! Even if you're sober, you won't listen." Suddenly raising my voice, I shouted at the dazed Evie: "Absurd!" Evie: "..." "Although I'm drunk, I know you're scolding me! You're the absurd one! Both you and Quentin are absurd!" Me: "..."