Absurd Funny Quotes

Sample: ' “Motherfucking dog is what he is , damn it” she chugged her drink down . She pointed her unsteady hand at her two best friends who were watching the show unfold . “ All men are the same . HEARTLESS CHEATING BASTARDS . Do you hear me? Heartless cheating bastards ” Casey screamed at the men sitting on a nearby table. “Yes, that's what you all are . Cheaters . Bloodsucking vampires, you use women like chewing gum and spit them out after you use them”. She placed her glass with a loud bang , almost falling off the table. She joined her hands while looking up at the ceiling, blinking . “If someone up there is listening, I wish all these men would suffer from crabs so bad , they would scratch it so hard that their dicks will fall off ”. She looked down and pointed a finger at them. “This is my curse on your species ”. She turned back to her friends leaving behind a group of mortified men with wide eyes who were left there holding their junks in fear . ' Casey has always been a hopeless romantic, searching for the one person who will finally return her love. Owen, on the surface, has it all—wealth, fame, and an endless stream of admirers. Yet despite his many conquests, he shuns commitment, refusing to be tied to anyone. When a scandal threatens his reputation, Owen concocts a plan: a fake engagement to Casey, In return, he promises to help her win a man. It soon grows complicated.Owen finds himself unexpectedly drawn to Casey but just when love seems within reach, Owen's past returns—his ex, stirring old emotions and doubts. What happened next read in my book ‘Mr Wrong'

Olivia Simon lost her twin brother, Oliver in a ghastly car accident. Down with heartbreak and loneliness, she ran away from home to her aunt Grace's in Australia. Crying and missing her brother, she decided to become him to ease her pain. Kane Boron, the heir to the MavinTech, known to be cold and arrogant but indeed was looking for a friend happens to hit off with a new guy on his 28 birthday party and they became best of friends. What happens when Olivia notice she was in love with her best friend, how is she going to tell him without him being angry that she deceived him? How is Kane going to cope when he noticed that he was attracted to his friend and really wants to kiss him? What happens to his preference? Is he turning gay? He found himself in a big dilemma with no how to escape.

Not even halfway through the Thanksgiving holidays, my boss, Bill Griffin, calls me back to work. He demands I cold-call customers for sales and promises generous overtime pay. Eager to give my son a better learning environment, I seize every chance to earn more money and agree without hesitation. But once the holiday ends, the management posts a notice. "An employee has generated an excessive phone bill working overtime during the Thanksgiving holidays and incurred company losses. Please reimburse the phone bill immediately." Bill, whom I had worked alongside since graduating from college, swiftly turns on me. "Some people in their 30s are about to be laid off. Having a job at all is a blessing, yet they don't know how to appreciate the opportunities the company gives them." Refusing to bow to the absurd demands and open threats, I hand in my resignation that very same day. A company that discards its employees the moment the job is done isn't worth a second of my time. They will learn the hard way who holds the leverage.

Buat Citra Paramitha, hidup sebagai mahasiswi arsitektur sudah cukup kompleks—revisi tugas gambar, dosen killer, dan deadline mepet. Tapi hidupnya makin kacau sejak pindah ke kosan baru yang... nempel banget sama kosan cowok berisik. Dan sumber kekacauan itu punya nama: Dikayasa Pradipta. Anak teknik mesin. Ganteng-ganteng tengil. Punya gitar, tapi nggak punya malu. Setiap pagi Dika nyanyi gombal receh dari balkon, bikin Citra pengen lempar penggaris segitiga. Tapi siapa sangka, dari yang awalnya saling sindir dan saling benci, ada benih rasa yang tumbuh diam-diam? Citra cuma pengen hidup tenang. Tapi Dika datang dengan misi mulia: bikin Citra jatuh cinta, dengan gombalan absurd dan motor tua legendaris. Karena buat Dika, teknik bukan cuma soal mesin. Tapi juga strategi bikin cewek dingin luluh dengan cara paling nyeleneh.

“Om, pengantinmu tertukar. Harusnya bukan aku, tapi kakakku Aisyah.” Andin mencoba berbicara kepada calon suami sang kakak agar ia mau membatalkan pernikahannya. “Aku tidak peduli, siapa pun yang menjadi pengantinku! Aku tidak suka kakakmu ataupun dirimu!” ucapnya dengan tegas sambil melirik sinis pada Andin. “Wah, nih orang tua belagu amat. Pantesan aja nggak laku,” gumam Andin. Andin Putri Pradipta, gadis berusia 21 tahun, harus menggantikan sang kakak sebagai pengantin dari Haidar Mannaf. Pemuda berusia 30 tahun yang mau dijodohkan hanya untuk mendapatkan harta warisan orang tuanya. Akankah Andin mampu menaklukkan seorang Haidar? Pemuda yang dingin terhadap wanita dan hanya uang yang menjadi tujuan hidup Haidar. Selamat datang di novel terbaruku. Ini merupakan spin off dari novel My Absurd Wife. Follow instagramku nyi.ratu_gesrek.

Ziva, seorang dokter muda yang selalu tampil glamor dan penuh gaya, maniak kebersihan dan disiplin, bahkan debu 1 inci saja langsung jadi sasaran tangan seribu Ziva. Namun segalanya berubah kacau saat dia dijodohkan dengan Reza, pria tampan tapi super santai, pecinta tidur siang, dan punya kucing galak bernama Binggo. Hidup glamor yang ia bayangkan berubah jadi petualangan absurd penuh cucian menumpuk, piring kotor, remote TV yang selalu rebutan, dan tisu berserakan. Alih-alih cinta yang menggelora, pernikahan mereka penuh drama kocak, pertengkaran receh, dan kejutan-kejutan lucu yang bikin mereka mempertanyakan: "Ini beneran kehidupan pernikahan?!" Di antara gaya hidup bertabrakan, dua karakter yang bertolak belakang itu justru perlahan mulai memahami makna cinta yang nyata—bukan yang didandani bunga dan lilin, tapi yang dibungkus kompromi dan kejujuran.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.

Victoria Carson is 17 and in love with Bruce Wayne and Thera nothing that could make her happier. That is till a summer mistake threatens the he dreams and hopes for a brighter future. Could she ever be able to face Bruce? Or will she keep this a secret even if it's driving a wedge between her and her future? Bruce Wayne just couldn't be happier, finally coming home to his beautiful girlfriend, the love of his life. He is confused and hurt when she starts to ignore him, frustrated Bruce is set on finding the cause of her strange behavior. But is he ready for the truth? As it shakes the very foundation of their relationship, will they ever be able to get through this,or is their love doomed to fail?

Utang ang dahilan kaya napapayag ni Dr. Storm Davis si Judith Dimaculangan na magpanggap na fiancee niya. Ang Lola Anastacia kasi niya gusto siyang mag-asawa na gayung hindi siya naniniwala sa pag-ibig kaya't para matigil na ang pangungulit sa kanya ng kanyang lola, naisipan niyang ipakilala rito si Judith bilang soon to be mapapangasawa niya. Ngunit, hindi niya goal na magustuhan ng lola niya si Judith kundi para sabihin ng lola niya ba 'ayoko sa kanya para sa'yo'. Ngunit, kabaligtaran ang nangyari. "I like you, iha," wika ng kanyang Lola Anastacia. Pero, hindi pa doon nagtapos ang pagkabigla niya. "I like you para sa apo kong si Jiwan." "No way," mariin niyang sabi nang marinig ang pangalan ng kapatid sa ina. Hinding-hindi makukuha ni Jiwan sa kanya si Judith, papakasalan na niya ito ASAP.

Kehidupan memaksa Mazaya untuk tergabung dalam sekelompok mafia dan menyembunyikan identitasnya sebagai seorang wanita; berganti nama menjadi Hexel.Ia diberikan misi untuk menyalin data sebuah software aplikasi New World yang menjadi incaran para startup. Software tersebut diprediksi akan memberikan keuntungan besar bagi perusahaan yang berhasil memilikinya.Ia lalu menjadi salah satu anggota tim developer software di perusahaan pembangun software tersebut. Mulailah aksinya satu demi satu tahapan penyalinan dilakukannya.Namun pada perjalanannya ia bertemu dengan seorang pemuda yang ternyata dia adalah CEO dari perusahaan tempat ia menjalankan misi. Dan identitasnya sudah terlanjur diketahui oleh pemuda tersebut.Konflik antara cinta dan profesionalisme pekerjaan pun terjadi. Semua tidak bisa dihindari dan mengorbankan segalanya.