Absurd Funny Quotes

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

OWEN GARCIA is the twin brother of RUSSELL ROSSELL (heir of the billionaire Theodore Rossell), kidnapped by NURSE GEMMA GARCIA. SHELLEY SILVER is a woman who dreams to be a novelist but received rejections one after another. Till she met and became friends with Russell Rossell who pretended to be an ordinary employee from the company of Theodore Rossel. He has a knack for writing and suggested that be the ghostwriter of Shelley and she readily agreed. Russel Rossell was hospitalized due to a car accident. That was the time Owen entered the life of Shelley, and pretended to be Russel Rossell. Like Russel Rossell, Owen also has a knack for writing novels, thus, Shelley wasn't able to know the difference between the twins. Gemma Garcia learned about Russell accident, and planned to use "her son" to get inside the Rossell Clan. Since he loved "his mother" Owen agreed to Gemma's plan. But they say, blood is thicker than water, hence, Owen felt pity for his twin brother when he met Joanne (acting as Russel Rossell, boyfriend of Joanne) and found out that Joanne is in relation with Brendon, the stepson of Theodore, who also masterminded the car accident of Russel. Thus, Russell Owen wrote a novel that divulged the crime of Brendon and requested Shelley to send copies to Theodore Rossell. Shocked, as he reads the book, Theodore ordered an investigation of his son's accident. And Brendon was sent to prison. The lives of Russel, Owen, Gemma, Shelley, and Theodore get tangled up till Theodore finds out that Owen is the twin brother of his son (by DNA). Now Shelley's Dilemma is who does she really love? Is it Russel Rosell who she loved the very first time she saw him or Owen, the mistaken identity of Russell Rossell?

Upang huwag matuloy ang arrange marriage ni Franki Avella sa lalaking hindi pa niya nakikita at nakikila, nag pasyang maglayas ang dalaga. Nag disguised siya bilang pangit na babae sa katauhan ni Fancy upang walang may makakilala sa kanya. Namasukan siyang kasambahay nang binatang si Argel Montero. Meet Argel Montero - Tall, dark and handsome na secretly inlove sa kababata nito na si Steffie Carion. Na may iba naman na minamahal. Katulad ni Franki Avella ay biktima din ang binata nang arrange marriage ng mga magulang nito. Asot-pusa kung silang dalawa ay mag kasama na nauwi din sa pag mamahalan, na humantong din sa pag-iiwanan. Ngunit sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana. Dahil ang lalaking ayaw ni Franki pakasalan ay walang iba kundi, si Argel Montero ang lalaking minsan na niyang nakasama at minahal. Minahal magpahanggang ngayon...

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love

Xavier is on the verge of giving up and settling for what his life is -grueling, onerous, and insipid. Sierra is a woman with dreams as big as the sun but a heart as rigid as a rocky mountain. She is constantly facing obstacles and has a hard time letting go and healing from events of her past. These two are least likely to make a match but when the odds are in favor, hope blossoms for them. On the other hand, Xander is an accomplished man with the power kings crave and intellect that the world envies atop a slight maniacal charm. Between the two underground kings, Xavier and Xander, lies the only queen left- Sierra -she has to choose between a mysterious love full of surprises or love that she could only dream of. In this compelling novel, we take a new approach to whimsical romance, banter, and the grim side of reality. Find out how the story unfolds, twists, and turns in this revolutionary book - My Altered Mate. by Lothaire.

Rhoda Schurz is known for being a born-again Christian missionary and she falls in love with Rudolf Wagner, who is a resigned U.S Army officer. They encounter a tragic accident and that gives him pain. Their marriage presents enumerable conflicts. Rhoda overcomes all in the eyes of faith in Jesus Christ. Rudolf is convinced that JESUS healed him and he also follows Christ's teaching with Rhoda, whom he loves.

He was born with a mask. The mask was a result of curse that was placed on his mother when he was in the womb. Due to this mask, he has neva been granted free movement and this make him a wicked King. Nobody has seen the king except those that are living in the Palace but they all known that he is a masked king. Only "her" can lift the curse and soften his wicked heart. She is a human with crazy personalities. But something seems to be wrong when she was chosen as the Alpha mate. Who on earth will ever imagine alpha Jayden's mate will be a mere human being. Whereas, they were born on the same day, the same place and the same time but fate had it's way in their lives. This is the story of Alpha Jayden's crazy mate

This is the tale of how the sexist remark, "Men are scum," was delivered to me on a scalding plate! Guess what? It all started with a birthday surprise party for my boss's fiance, but I was slapped with horror when I saw my boyfriend of two years being kissed by my boss with an engagement ring around both their fingers. Turned out I had been the side chick for two bloody years! Funny enough, I wasn't served a heart break alone, my boss had also been toying with the emotions of Cole McPherson, and together we swore to take revenge. Would I still scream, "Men are slime!" at the conclusion, or will my beliefs alter in the process of seeking revenge alongside Cole?

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

"I curse you." A mewled whisper erupted her throat steadily raising her shaken up gaze. The man who had her jaw held in a terrific grip gave her a twisted smile having no effect from her words. He found them absurd and full of stupidity. "I CURSE YOU! YOU AND YOUR FATHER WILL LOSE ALL YOUR HAPPINESS AND PEACE! IT'S A CURSE OF A DAUGHTER, YOU IMBECILE!" She cried loudly right on his face which did snatch his smile but something in him refused to accept the power behind her curse. But her heart bled curse did what he considered a myth. Shaken up his soul. Tarnished his peace. Snatched his every happiness. He was left with nothing but agony and pain he once conflicted on an innocent. If you want to read a story full of regret, redemption, hate and pain then welcome. WARNING: THERE CAN BE GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES SO DON'T MIND.