Novel & Cerita And I Keep Holding On

My sobs mix with his as we stand there, holding each other, broken but together. I don’t want to let go. Not again.

When they leave, the room feels colder, as if their presence stole heat from the air. I curl inward, fighting the shaking that follows, and count again. One. Two. Three. My jaw aches from clenching. I swallow carefully. Taste blood. I don’t know how long this can last. But I know I have to last longer. Because Aiden needs me. Because Cole will find me, or he will tear the world apart trying. I lean my head back against the wall and whisper the words out loud this time, my voice a rough thread. “Hold on,” I tell myself. “Hold on. Hold on.” I don’t know if I mean me or him. Probably both.

'We make these memories for ourselves' 'Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken' 'And time's forever frozen still' 'So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans.' 'Holdin' me closer til our eyes meet' 'You won't ever be alone' 'Wait for me to come home.' It fits us. Me and Milo.

He was quiet for a long moment. “Okay,” he said. “I believe you.” “Good.” “Mom.” “Yes.” “I miss you,” he said directly, the way he said everything directly. “I know I'm the one saying wait. I still miss you.” “I know,” I said. “I miss you too. Every day.” “How do you do it?” I thought about an honest answer. “I hold on to what I know,” I said. “I know you're here. I know you're yourself. I know we're working towards each other. And I let the not-having-you-yet be what it is, instead of fighting it.”

Maybe I’ll finally be able to breathe. But until then, I’m staying right here. Holding on. Waiting. Hoping. Refusing to let go.

Hold on, I still want you Come back, I still need you Let me take your hand, I'll make it right I swear to love you all my life Hold on, I still need you A long endless highway, you're silent beside me Drivin' a nightmare I can't escape from Helplessly praying, the light isn't fadin' Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones They took you away on a table I pace back and forth as you lay still They pull you in to feel your heartbeat Can you hear me screaming, "Please don't leave me" Hold on, I still want you

Overwhelmed. Tired. So tired. I open my eyes again, my gaze falling back to the message. And deep down… I know one thing. Alexander is already starting to see the cracks. And once he starts looking deeper… He won’t stop. My hand moves slowly to my stomach again, holding it gently. “I have to hold on,” I whisper. “No matter what happens… I have to hold on.” But for the first time… I’m not sure if I can. Because something tells me…

“Because I’m not letting you go.” And this time— He didn’t fade. He held on. And I held him tighter.

‎And I’m holding onto it with hopeful hands. ‎

Over whatever it was that had started between us. "You don’t have to control everything," I whispered back, my voice soft but firm. "Let me in, Adrian. Let me help you." He didn’t respond right away, but his hand tightened around my waist, holding me close, as if I was the only thing grounding him in this storm. "I’m trying, Bella. I’m trying." We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, the weight of the world pressing down on us, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that we were in this together, whether he liked it or not.