Bdsm Jokes

"It's time to consummate our Marriage" Roman said as he walked inside the room. "I am not interested" I said with fear as I stood up from his couch. "And why are you not interested?' he asked. "I am only giving my body to the man I love" I said curtly. "Really? We are married come on, I need to be inside my wife now" He said as he moved closer to me. "This room is not only decorated for decorating sake. It means something" he said as he got before me. "Come on, wifey, corporate tonight or else you will see the worst of me." He said on the bed as he clapped his hands, the door opened and men came in with boxes. They placed the boxes on the floor and went out. I looked at them with curiosity. "Irina, Have you ever heard of BDSM?" He asked. This is the first time he will call my name. But what's BDSM? He opened the boxes bringing out the items there. "No, what's the meaning?" I asked him with curiosity. "And what are you doing with ropes and wipes?" I asked again. "Have you ever even had ?" He asked angrily. I was quiet for sometime for sometimes, feeling shy. "No" I said hesitantly. "Your stupid father caged you your whole life, that's so stupid of him. We don't kill woman here, we only deal with men. He should have let you out" he said. "Don't ask me any questions again, your innocent is annoying, I promise. I hate naive girls"he scoffed. "Get on the bed" he commanded. "What?" I asked. "Get on the freaking bed, don't force me to help you in getting on the bed, "

When nerdy but cute, Miranda Whitmore's parents decide to move to a place called Howling Cliffs, she is not happy. But there's nothing she despises more in this small town than Nigel Vanderwolf, the hot jock who happens to be the son of the man Miranda's family is staying with. The two bump heads continuously, with Nigel's crude sexual jokes and relentless mockery of her virgin status and Miranda's snappy rebuttals and ability to annoy him constantly. But one night after a dangerous game of Truth or Dare, Miranda becomes lost in the woods where she gets trapped in a cave because of a thunderstorm. Feeling guilty of his part in Miranda's disappearance, Nigel sets out to find her. He stumbles on the girl he finds the most annoying, sheltering in the Forbidden Cavern. The two ensue in a heated argument, disturbing the God that resides there. After Nigel takes Miranda home, the two decide to never speak to each other again, thus going their separate ways, only to wake the next morning to find themselves in each other's bodies. Now Miranda has the upper hand because she has finally learned Nigel's secret. Her neighbour and bully is a werewolf. What will Miranda do with this newfound information? Will she expose to the world that the supernatural is real? How will Nigel cope with this magical phenomenon? Will he be able to switch back in time for the great Alpha Trials? Follow Miranda and Nigel in this epic tale of enemies to lovers in the Werewolf Switch.

Zoey Afar has had a long-held affection for her boss. However, she was unwilling to confess this since, first and foremost, they were different in level of life. The second reason she feels "abnormal" is that even a light touch from her stimulates her desire. She has obsessive sexual behavior, sometimes known as hypersexuality condition or sexual addiction. Things become worse when the hot CEO makes her personal BDSM partner.

Part One: I Dare YouShannon Gregory never thought she’d actually meet in person the man she connected with online, leading her step by step into the world of BDSM and the role of the submissive. Now he wanted to meet her in person, on a treasure hunt that he promised would end with the most erotic, sexually fulfilling night she could imagine. Did she dare take the challenge?Part Two: Journey to the PearlMiranda Fox’s latest loser one made off with a perfect pearl she bought and she wants it back. Then a Chinese fortune cookie tells her “Find the perfect pearl and you will find the perfect lover.” But was her hot, sexy friend BJ McNamara, a man she never took seriously, the one to show her where the perfect pearl is and what makes the perfect lover? Part Three: Hot to TrotBuying a ranch on eBay was the wildest thing Autumn Kelley had ever done. But then she discovers the ranch comes with a foreman who makes her pulse pound and could give her an orgasm just by looking at her. And then she meets his friend. But what happens when Autumn inevitably has to come down from the orgasmic high?Part Four: Take a Chance On MeZoe Fortunato is getting married. Tomorrow. But for her wedding gift from Brad she wants one forbidden night as part of a threesome. Will it help the wedding or call it off?Hot Summer Nights is created by Desiree Holt, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

Book 2 Big City Wolves Stand Alone Novel. Warning: BDSM, hot steamy, unsensored. Toronto looks all buttoned up on the outside, but when the night falls things always get hot. Tara Travers’ in a pickle. Her lowlife baby brother put her there. He’s been skimming off the top of the payments to his Alpha he was supposed to deliver to him. Then he took it to the Wild Wolf and gambled it away. Last night he lost big. Alpha Elmwood wants his money now, or Tara won’t have a pack or a brother. Eddie, her brother, has skipped town, but she wasn’t so lucky. Now, it’s up to her to get the money back. That means she has to cheat the house. A house run by a very shady Alpha. Alpha Calvin Nichols of the Crimson Nights. The Wild Wolf is a shifter only private members club where powerful shifters go to explore their vices. From gambling to a sex dungeon and everything in between Cal’s club provides it. He’s a dominant wolf and he’s got rules. Well, until he’s surprised by Tara, his fated mate, who might be just as corrupt as he is. Or too innocent for her own good. Then he’ll rewrite the rules as they go along. What will Tara do when she’s caught by the sexy, tattooed Alpha Cal and her plans go awry? Instead of being kicked out of his territory or killed. Tara finds herself chained to the club as Alpha Cal’s new personal submissive and her training begins immediately. Tara won’t believe the physical evidence of their fated mate status. After she can’t believe in fated or the Moon Goddess, her life sucks too much.

"Ow," she exclaims when the first stroke of my belt slashes across her bare ass, whimpering with her eyes closed. I set the belt down and rubbed the rapidly reddening spot with my left palm, enjoying the way she moans in pleasure. "You like it, don't you?" I tease. "Yes. Yes...Seb..." I take the belt and whip her again. And again and again. Each time, her moans rising higher, her body jerking violently, turning me on. Through my peripheral vision, I could see her father standing by the door, his jaw on the floor. "No...no, no..." I hear him wail. This is just the beginning. I intend to fuck her cute, little pussy next. While he's still watching. - She was promised to him for one night only. To lay off a debt. But Sebastian Sturm wanted her forever. Carmen Gracia is given to ruthless Mafia Don Sebastian Sturm for a one-night only exclusive by her domineering father to lay off his debt. But when he father fails to keep to his end of the bargain, she's in trouble. Sebastian plans to show her what it means to belong to him, and if he must spank her silly to achieve that, he will. This is a dark romance + BDSM read. If such themes offends you deeply, please try out another book.

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

Ryder, Alex, and Logan, three incredibly attractive and wealthy billionaires, were known for their playboy reputation and their ability to get whatever they desired. Bella and Ryder had been friends since childhood, thanks to their parents' long-lasting friendship. Ryder, the leader of the mafia, had always been a "one and done" kind of guy, never believing in serious relationships. However, there was an undeniable chemistry between him and Bella. One night, their relationship took a passionate turn, and everything changed between them. Now, they faced a dilemma: should they confess their true feelings for each other or pretend to be friends with benefits, keeping their emotions at bay? Alex, the mafia boss, found himself forced into a contract marriage by his father in order to seal a business deal. He didn't have any affection for his bride, as the marriage was completely against his will. However, when he saw her for the first time, he couldn't deny her attractiveness. Soon, she discovered the truth behind their marriage and decided to leave him, despite being pregnant with his child. Will Alex let down his guard and accept his true feelings for her, or will he continue to resist? Logan, the powerful don, encountered a captivating woman who instantly rejected his advances. Never used to being turned down, Logan made it his mission to make her his, using any means necessary. But will he play fair in his pursuit of her, or will he resort to underhanded tactics to win her over? Find out in the story with lots of BDSM scenes which will make you feel the heat.

How does one woman please two men? Lizzie has to answer when Jordan suddenly springs Jackson on her. His life long best friend.Jackson is a dark, brooding man. When they meet, the sparks fly and burn so hot and unexpectedly that Lizzie is shocked. Jordan was a lot for Lizzie to learn how to handle. But, when she discovers she is supposed to try and take both of them on. She was terrified and overwhelmed,Lizzie flees to a quiet cabin in the woods, where she thinks she is safe enough to come to terms with her new situation. But Jack and Jordan follow her there, unwilling to let her run away. They force her to confront her problems and the terrible secrets she was harboring. Unfortunately, their problems decided to follow them as well. Can the three of them ever get past the troubles they must face? Especially when it's Lizzie's own life on the line?*ADULTS ONLY* *EXPLICIT SCENES* *BDSM* You Are Ours is created by Leann Lane, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author

Every girl at the age of eighteen, if left unamted, is voulentered for the Alphas Hunt. Hazel is no exception and also the only one who sees it not as a chance to find a strong Alpha to take care of her, but rather as a ceremony that strips you of your free will and sends you out into the woods to be hunted like a deer. If she is claimed she will be his. If she is not, she will return in shame and be shunned from her pack. Hazel knows the ways of the Alphas, being the daughter of a Beta but what she doesn't count on is the precense of the Lycan King. The leader of all is participating in his first ever hunt and she is his prey. ***Warning: This book contains a LOT of mature content such as strong language, explicit s*x scenes, BDSM, etc.***